Hello and welcome to the forums,
Thank you so much for such an open and vulnerable share. This truly sounds so overwhelming... health concerns are very scary, so it's completely understandable that anxiety is coming up so intensely for you.
What I am hearing is that you are really needing some soothing, grounding, and support; a real sense of trust in your body that something or someone will be there when things feel too much. I am curious to know what your support network looks like right now. Do you have many people you can turn to?
I can also hear you have been going through this for so long, so I can only imagine how exhausted you must feel... the panic and need for control cycles are a lot for the body to go through. It might sound silly, but giving yourself a hug or gentle touch can really help in these moments. Self-soothing can be so helpful in allowing us to feel safe in the midst of terror. Think: warm showers, tea, blankets, music, sunshine, crying (for regulation), and gentle walking to shift your emotional state. I know these aren't overnight fixes, but they can help in the moment, so please give them a go if you are able to.
I know things are really tough right now, so I am curious, if you could have or change one thing about what is happening right now (something that is feasibly within your control), what might that be? Perhaps we can use that as a starting point, to know what the next best step is?
Looking forward to your reply and really hoping you have a more calm and relaxed evening. 💙
Warm regards,
Sophie M.
