Anxiety over my baby.

[Macka90]

Hi everyone.

i have a 2 month old son and have been suffering anxiety sonce his birth.

I started my meds after his birth and the anxiety got better but now it is back and worse then ever.

I am scared to be alone with him in case something happens to him, i am scared to go to sleep in case something happens while im asleep and im not there for him.

Most of my anxiety is about SIDS, i know its normal for parents to worry about their children but mine is more then the normal and i dont know what to do.

I am getting to the point where i cry for no reason as well.

I am not a first time mum and wasn’t like this with my other 3 kids.

I really just dont know what to do anymore, its impacting my life, I don’t leave the house unless absolutely necessary, even then my anxiety goea through the roof.

Someone please help me!!!

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

Anxiety like many mental illnesses should see you visit your GP quite often until things settle down a lot. It is not sufficient to get medication then its all ok.

Also therapy often is ordered and it should be taken up. So revisit your GP and tell him everything.

Google- Beyondblue topic how I eliminated anxiety

TonyWK

[jess334]

Hi Macka90,

Congratulations on your new baby and well done for starting medication so quickly.

I found that my anxiety was the worse between 2 and 6 months. It took me a while to realise it was because I was so sleep deprived my brain was literally not functioning. My brain would see threats everywhere and therefore I would go into meltdown panic mode.

My doctor told me to take Melatonin a vitamin you can get from a chemist. It helps you go to sleep. It doesn't help you stay asleep though (which is good because you still need to get up when the baby cries!) And if you are breast feeding it doesn't affect your milk.

My mum also took the baby for a night so I could get a full night sleep.

SIDS is scary. Unfortunately there is nothing you can do except follow the Red Nose guidelines. I followed these exactly, even though some of my family thought I was being too 'obsessive'. I didnt relax until my son was over 6 months old and past the most dangerous age.

Tony makes a good point about counselling. Have you called PANDA? They really helped me when I was waiting to get into see a psychologist. https://www.panda.org.au

You also might need an increase in your medication.

Please keep posting if you need to talk. There are lots of other mums on here and they are really supportive.

Kind thoughts, Jess

[Macka90]

Hi Jess.

Yes i have contacted PANDA, they helped but i have only just started seeing a counseller my first session was today.

I am following the Red Nose guidelines as well except i am sleeping on a mattress in my loungeroom with bub he has his own sleeping space no loose clothes or blankets near him, i cant bring myself to put him in the bassinet where i cant juat reach over and check him or touch him.

I am seeing my GP tomorrow to talk about how i have been feeling lately and to ask about steonger meds or upping my meds.

Im just scared to be alone in case something happens with him.

I will keep posting

[jess334]

I understand. I had a gorgeous bassinet set up, but after the first night I realised I couldn't see or touch him without sitting up. So the next day I made my partner go and buy a co sleeper. It made a huge difference. I could see him and place my hand on his belly if I needed reassurance. I still woke up every 2 hours or so.

My sleep didn't get better until we moved him into his own room at 6 months. And even then I kept a mattress on the floor of his room for months.

That is great that you have organised a counsellor & a return visit to your GO. It sounds like are doing everything you can to stay healthy for your bub.

Are you scared you will do something to hurt him or that if something happens you won't know what to do? Both fears are completely normal by the way!

Jess

[Macka90]

Hi Jess

I am scared that i will wake up and he will be dead not from me hurting him.

I am petrified he will die of SIDS and if that was to happen I wouldn’t know what to do, i know i cannot prevent it from happening but i am petrified of it happening.

[jess334]

Hi Macka,

I get it, it is terrifying. The thought of loosing our children is horrifying. Every time I see a news story about a child dying I wonder how the poor parents will survive. I try not to think too deeply on it, hopefully we will never know that loss, but it is not something we can prepare for

The good news is that since the introduction of Red Nose program incidents of SIDS have dropped by 84%!! That means that the statistics are much more favourable.

Keep in mind that the risk drops significantly once he reaches 5 months of age, and again at 6 months. I was literally counting down the weeks until my little boy was 'safe'.

Jess

[Macka90]

Hi Jess.

I havent googled much on it as no one wants me to as it makes my anxiety worse which i understand but at the same time i want to read up about it.

I know the peak age for it is between 2 & 4 months which my bub is almost 9 weeks so i think once we past the peak age range then i might sleep better but at the same time im not sure.

[jess334]

Hi Macka90,

I think googling is definitely a bad idea. Especially don't read those horrible 'parenting' websites that are all stories of things going wrong. I actually had to block kidspot on my computer and phone so that I would stop reading them. They are addictive but they always make you feel worse!

Reading about the risks on health or government websites isn't the same thing though. For me it is important to know what I can so that I can take all the necessary steps to reduce the risk. So definitely stick to websites like Red Nose or health.gov.au sites.

I hope your anxiety does reduce once the peak risk period is over. It did for me. Now my son is a bouncing 1 year old starting day care next week and there are a whole bunch of new things to worry about. LOL.

[Macka90]

Hi Jess.

Yes i do hope it settles down once the peak age range is over, im just trying to live with this feeling everyday at the moment until i can get on the right meds.

I have read the Red nose site i try to stay away from the parenting sites but definitely is hard. I am pretty much following the guide lines on the red nose site except bubs shares a bed with me as i am petrified to put him in his bassinet but i have looked up safe co sleeping and am following that.

I just want this feeling to go so i can enjoy my baby’s first few months of life