I know your fears. I do know that my anxiety is NOT based on logic. And I have experienced the fear of illness but it has never been a self fulfilling prophesy. I've worked in night clubs as a DJ for many years and have seen sick people, but alcohol, drugs and tobacco are usually the cause of their illness. However..... my mental illness causes other things that are equally destructive.
I think you are not alone at all in your fears. I still get these fears but I've lived with panic and anxiety and depression for so long, I just really kinda, in a twisted way want to get sick and
end it. I'm too much of a coward to do it by my own hands. I just don't want to exit in pain from illness. The mental pain I endure is usually more than I can handle. BUT......here comes the sarcasm... Lucky me, I am healthier than a man 30 years younger than me. At my last checkup at the hospital, the doctor said I have the lungs of a teenager. I don't smoke. Im 60 and in perfect physical health, so i have GOT to get my head together if I am to have any quality of life, I will probably live until 100. I pray that I don't.
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