Anxiety out of its box

jupiter · ‎29-03-2015

Hi all.

This is my first post.

My anxiety is very difficult at the moment after 4 days in hospital with pneumonia. I had a couple of days of hydro cortisone and am still in a reducing dose of steroid. I take an antidepressant at night. I am avoiding all caffeine and don't drink.

All this is as my mum is slowly leaving us after I made the decision to tell her that it was ok to go if she thought it was the right time. She is just a sad figure curled up in bed being very well cared for The mother I knew was gone some time ago. Any suggestions to help much appreciated.

White_Rose · ‎29-03-2015

Dear Jupiter

Welcome to Beyond Blue. Please accept my condolences on your mother's illness. It is very hard to let someone go, even when they the person you know has already left. I applaud your decision to give her permission to go. I know so often a person will hang on until told it's OK to leave. A friend of mine waited until her brother arrived from abroad so she could say goodbye. She died ten minutes later.

It is a sad time as someone goes out of your life and you face the loneliness without them. And no matter how much your mother has changed, having her physical presence is a comfort in some ways. The final parting is so hard .

It appears this may be the source of your anxiety, especially as you are ill in hospital yourself. Have you spoken to your doctor about how your feel? Also, do you see any other health professional such as a psychologist or psychiatrist? Even though you are still in hospital it may be possible to talk to your psych by phone and ask for help.

How much longer do you expect to be in hospital? I imagine you will feel a bit weak when you leave but will it be possible to go and see your mother? Perhaps another family member or friend can take you.

I have made a presumption about the cause of your anxiety but if there is another cause please correct me. Yes, caffeine and alcohol can increase anxiety so it is probably as well to avoid them at this time if possible. To go back to the doctor treating you in hospital, do you think it would be helpful to take a sedative medication for a couple of days? Given that I am not a doctor this may be an inappropriate suggestion, so please excuse me if this is the case.

I keep jumping backwards and forwards with my comments as I am writing as I think. If you can go to your mother, can you talk to her about your childhood and her childhood if you know anything about it. I understand she may not respond to you and may well not understand what you are talking about. But it is amazing I understand how these do reach the person concerned.

Your mom may not respond verbally but may indicate she knows what you are talking about. I think it will give you both comfort at this time.

I'm sorry I have no other options to offer.

Regards

Mary

jupiter · ‎31-03-2015

Thanks Mary.

I was only in hospital 3 nights but the steroids are known to increase anxiety. I had a chat with my GP yesterday and she is wonderful. I will be off the steroid today so that is good. I am working on relaxing and distracting myself by keeping buisy. I have done all I can for my mum so don't feel that is a problem for me. I went and played guitar and sang a few songs for her on sunday and I am sure she knew I was there.

Cheers.

White_Rose · ‎31-03-2015

Dear Jupiter

Thank you for your response. Wow! You can play the guitar. That's been a lifelong ambition for me, also playing the piano. I started to learn piano but never got round to guitar although both my sons play and two of my grandchildren.

I agree that your mom knew you were there playing for her. I was not with my mother when she died as she lived in England. My siblings told me they talked to her the whole time in the last few days, so I felt a bit better about not being there.

Keeping busy is a good idea. Don't forget to get outside as part of your activity. Not necessarily exercise, gardening is great if you are interested in the area. I often just sit on my patio with a cuppa and book, or just a cuppa and smell the roses as they say. Very relaxing.

Also pace yourself. I came home from hospital a week ago after an overnight stay for surgery. After two days I thought I was fine and went off to do my grocery shopping. What a mistake. Just about made it home and unpacked before I died in bed for a couple of hours. That's a mistake I won't make again.

Glad you sound more positive. Keep up the work.

Mary

Neil_1 · ‎31-03-2015

Dear Jupiter

Welcome to Beyond Blue and I’m very sorry to hear about your Mum’s condition.

That sounded like a wonderful thing to do for her, playing guitar and singing to her.

Distractions are very good to keep in place, to keep you occupied as well as relaxing, of which you’ve mentioned both – very important.

I’ve mentioned in the past about possibly taking in an old photo album to go through some photos with – but that is all dependent on how much or well your Mum is able to focus at this stage.

It is a difficult stage for you and I hope that by coming here, it has helped you a little; and please know that you can come here and post at any time, if you feel the need to do so.

Kind regards

Neil