Anxiety or Depression? Or can you have both?

[Moonstruck]

I just did the Mind Spot quiz for depression and came up moderately severe. My main hurdle is anxiety, at times blitzing into panic attacks, resulting in insomnia, worry, obsessive thinking, occasional paranoid thoughts e.g. neighbours are watching me, talking about me - going overboard in trying to please people so they won't hurt, dislike or abandon me......over the past 2 months I had a sort of double-whammy in losing two prominent, long-standing and very precious people in my life - one a friend, the other a romantic interest/love partner......a couple of weeks apart. I hadn't begun to work my way through the first, when delivered the second blow!

some years back I had a similar condition to deal with (I couldn't deal with it though - it left me damaged and scarred)...when about 4 major stressors occurred in the space of a few years.....you know that list of Top 10 things - Major Life Losses.....well I had about 4 of those...no time to recover from one, when another one happened! It resulted in mild agoraphobia from fear of "what will happen to me next?" much safer to stay at home. I had no time to heal, no time to rest, no treatment - I had two children and a job which became the next thing to lose....then I became a "job seeker" on Centrelink. No one helped me.

At least now its only been 2 losses, but I'm getting lower and lower - sort of a combination of my usual anxiety, mixed with a deep sadness and sense of great loss . I wait for the day to pass until it's dark and I feel sort of "safer"like nothing else bad can happen - the day is nearly over.

I am frightened I will become that messed up woman I was years ago when the list of stressors/losses happened one after another. I relied on alcohol - now I'm not allowed to drink for health reasons, so no soothing glass of wine for me. GP won't prescribe meds.....only something for sleep which I have to ration myself so as not to give the impression I am abusing them.

How can I cope better this time around and not end up the depressed human being I was back then?. At least this time its only 2 major blows - I feel crying is a good release for me....but what if someone drops in and sees me? My facade is too good - they wouldn't understand.

[jelly12]

Hi,

I've enjoyed reading this thread and all the wonderful insightful comments,

In my case the long term depression and anxiety are clearly linked and the medications I take target both problems.

It is so important to be kind to ourselves on our journey.

[Guest_5218]

Hi Moon, I just picked up this post of yours on another thread, but thought I'd comment on it on your own thread rather than on Lost Girls.

Re depression - I believe you mentioned showering, or lack of, on another thread - I hadn't showered for days, I kept count with a kind of curious fascination at "what did it matter anyway". Is that significant in some way, not bothering to shower? Doesn't sound all that brilliant does it? I won't say the number of days - broke the drought before and washed my hair too. No choice, as #son due back from Fraser Is tomorrow where he's been camping with father and brother who heads back to wife and kids. Don't want to spoil his couple of days with me - he's off to the US end of the month - so will try not to show how low I've been, and let sadness overshadow our being together for this brief time. Won't be hard - I will act my way through it - no effort, just comes naturally. Hopefully I will crawl out of this fog I seem to have sunk into and actually be pleasant company for you all here again one day. Really appreciate everyone's comments, offers of support and advice - it's quite wonderful of people with their own problems and sadnesses to take the time........thank you.......

I am so sorry Moon that you are having such a tough time of it right now. And in reference to your thread question - Yes it is possible to have both depression and anxiety at the same time. Many people with anxiety go through bouts of occasional depression. So you definitely are not unique in that regard.

Anyway I mainly wanted to comment on your thread so I can monitor it, which I've done now. I will respond more fully at a time I have more time.

I hope you are feeling well enough to enjoy your #1 son's visit again tomorrow. Kind thoughts and much love.

Sherie xx

[geoff]

hi Jelly, you're right as far as I'm concerned because my medication also targets my depression and OCD which is caused by anxiety.
It's lovely for you to join us. Geoff.

[Moonstruck]

Geoff and Jelly - at least you both have some medication.....I don't.

[Guest_5218]

Moon, I copied and pasted your post from Carols thread. Hope you dont mind, but I wanted to respond on your own thread.

That is wonderful of you Sherie - I truly appreciate it. I am feeling somewhat better thank goodness......#1 son has been here for last few days again.....it's hard not to be positive with him around He has very high energy and positivity himself - although a bit tiring.

You and Lost Girl will never believe what happened yesterday when he was here - he wanted to go for a drive in my newish car (he hadn't been in it before) around his old familiar district......and quite by chance (or was it meant to be, one wonders?) we happened to meet the Dragon Slayer (remember him?) on his way home from work!! So they met - got along like a house on fire!

Not sure what has happened to my "rival" but it was a lovely little interlude...and felt really good to see them together. My son likes him a lot actually, which I guess is a positive thing. Trying not to get my hopes up too much but it was so nice to see him again and know he still seems to enjoy my company.... Both Full Moon AND an eclipse this Friday night!!!! Oh God...anything can happen!

Anyway, I've been concerned about you since you posted a number of what I consider "crying out for help" posts on several different threads, and I hadnt responded properly so was feeling bad about it.

At least it sounds like you are now over the worst of your melancholia and feelings of depression. I'm glad.

It must have been nice to spend a bit more time with your #1 son over the past few days. He sounds like a special young man.

And no, I would never have guessed what happened during your drive. The gods must be smiling on you Moon, or else it was fate and just meant to be. Of course I rememeber the Dragon Slayer! How could I forget - the choice between the Dragon Slayer or the Flower Man? Of course I advised the Dragon Slayer (DS).

How nice that DS and #1 son got along so well. Its just very reassuring when our loved ones like and get along with any new friends. I would urge you not to get too excited though, as your rival may still be in the wings. Of course DS would be genuinely happy to see you Moon, after all you are such a lovely bubbly exciting lady. And its not as though you parted under acrimonious circumstances. Mmm, you just never know what the combination of a full moon and an eclipse can do. Bring on those magic potions, spells and rituals I say!

Love and hugs.

Sherie xx

[Moonstruck]

Very perceptive of you Sherie....yes I guess they certainly were "cries for help"....and no, I won't get too excited or think that there will never come another time when I have to reach out in a similar way. I hope my cries didn't upset anyone - but I am just so thankful that you are all there to cry out to! So very grateful.

Yes I will be realistic about DS - it was a relief to see we still get along so well, laugh and chat easily together and the fact that my son and he liked each other so much was a bonus. I have my feet on the ground....but when that old Full Moon works her magic.....well......( they're special to him too actually - and used to text me every month to remind me to have a look!)....I will have nice memories of yesterday afternoon at least - no one can take that away from me can they?.........wishing you some magic and joy in your own world Sherie - no-one deserves it more than you......bless you.....

[Lost_Girl]

Dear Moon,

I'm glad you can reach out when you need to.

I am forever hopeful in matters of the heart. Perhaps you can send a reminder text to him for the coming full moon. You never know what's behind the whirling snow in your globe.

Love me, the other dreamer xx

[Moonstruck]

Oh Carol....

it's good to know I'm not the only romantic dreamer around...should know better at my age shouldn't I?

Sherie hope you don't mind but this caught my eye on your thread - which is about the opposite experience to my own -

"My appointment with the GP on Monday went pretty well, and I had a good talk to him about the anti anxiety (adrenaline lowering) medication I've been on, but ran out of recently. He good naturedly ticked me off about not seeing him when I was supposed to at the end of last month. In the end I came away with another script for the meds. He quite correctly said that if it helps me to be less anxious and to have better sleep quality, then why would I not continue on it. I am lucky in that, other than the first week or so, I have relatively few side effects. So I am back on them again from tonight. "

As I've said a few times on Forum, my GP won't give me any meds, except for limited amounts for sleep, which I ration myself and have dipped into a tiny bit (again rationing myself) during the day when I was crawling the walls. As your GP said "if they help me be less anxious and improve sleep quality, why not continue on it?".....My thoughts exactly. I also mentioned to the psych that I had asked my GP for something to help with anxiety/depression during the day.....and her response was exactly the same as GP

" you can become dependent on them!".....duh!

The bit that I simply cannot fathom, is that neither of them seem to realise that the worse I am feeling, the lower my mood plummets, the more anxiety consumes me,........the more tempting it is to have a drink! (a reminder to those readers who may not be aware - alcohol means a downward spiral to death for me - cannot drink for medical reasons and have had few near misses before..haven't had a drink for over 3 years!)

How easy it would be! No script needed! "Glass of wine..pot of beer Moonstruck? No worries darl" and there it is, served with a friendly smile! And it's only a short walk away, 10 minutes down the road - instant relief!

Wouldn't you think the GP would regard a mild anti -anxiety med as the lesser of these two "evils"?.....

Is there a medically trained type person on here perhaps, that can explain this to me please?

[Guest_5218]

Hi Moon. I am so sorry that you feel you are not getting the medical support you need with regards to medications. Certainly from all that you have said I agree with you, it is definitely the lesser evil for you.

Yes many medications are unfortunately addictive. And certainly with mine, there is just the one script (less than 2 months worth) with no repeats. Meaning that if I need more I would need to see him again to be reassessed. So it is being closely monitored. Plus he is aware that I am not happy being on any medication anyway, and needed to convince me to go on them in the first place. I guess that makes him think I'm unlikely to abuse them.

The temptation to drink must be very high for you at times Moon, so I am concerned for you that they are unprepared to offer you a better alternative.

All I can suggest in the meantime is that you work closely with your psych in trying to work through your depression and anxiety issues and utilising talk therapy and other methods that she may suggest to you (meditation, yoga, mindfulness) to help you through the worst.

Dont give up on continuing to ask your GP for helpful medications, and also give some thought to switching to a different GP who may have a different perspective on things.

Thinking of you Moon. Full moon yesterday ... what did you get up to? Did you text DS?

Sherie xx

[Lost_Girl]

Hi Moon,

Try searching on the internet for dual diagnosis alcohol anxiety. There is a wealth of information. From what I can see some favour only using behavioural therapy and the like to treat anxiety avoiding medication. However there are also a number of articles that establish after the individual has been sober for some time that medication may be used but in each case it is dependent on the individual diagnosis.

Perhaps you can read articles most relevant to you and take some along to your drs to discuss.

I assume you have been very honest in telling them how you are feeling and functioning.

The articles should be enough to open up a discussion so they can explain why others do get meds and not you.

I would suggest asking them on how they can help you to cope better than you are.

Oh Carol 🙂 xx