Anxiety or Depression? Or can you have both?

[Moonstruck]

I just did the Mind Spot quiz for depression and came up moderately severe. My main hurdle is anxiety, at times blitzing into panic attacks, resulting in insomnia, worry, obsessive thinking, occasional paranoid thoughts e.g. neighbours are watching me, talking about me - going overboard in trying to please people so they won't hurt, dislike or abandon me......over the past 2 months I had a sort of double-whammy in losing two prominent, long-standing and very precious people in my life - one a friend, the other a romantic interest/love partner......a couple of weeks apart. I hadn't begun to work my way through the first, when delivered the second blow!

some years back I had a similar condition to deal with (I couldn't deal with it though - it left me damaged and scarred)...when about 4 major stressors occurred in the space of a few years.....you know that list of Top 10 things - Major Life Losses.....well I had about 4 of those...no time to recover from one, when another one happened! It resulted in mild agoraphobia from fear of "what will happen to me next?" much safer to stay at home. I had no time to heal, no time to rest, no treatment - I had two children and a job which became the next thing to lose....then I became a "job seeker" on Centrelink. No one helped me.

At least now its only been 2 losses, but I'm getting lower and lower - sort of a combination of my usual anxiety, mixed with a deep sadness and sense of great loss . I wait for the day to pass until it's dark and I feel sort of "safer"like nothing else bad can happen - the day is nearly over.

I am frightened I will become that messed up woman I was years ago when the list of stressors/losses happened one after another. I relied on alcohol - now I'm not allowed to drink for health reasons, so no soothing glass of wine for me. GP won't prescribe meds.....only something for sleep which I have to ration myself so as not to give the impression I am abusing them.

How can I cope better this time around and not end up the depressed human being I was back then?. At least this time its only 2 major blows - I feel crying is a good release for me....but what if someone drops in and sees me? My facade is too good - they wouldn't understand.

[white knight]

Hi,

Try another GP us the first step I'd take.

I've had anxiety and still have depression. In my opinion only, you can have them separately but are usually linked if not straight away then eventually.

Life....we are basically alone fighting to keep our heads above water. We hope to rely on others but time and time again we get let down by people that don't understand. It is us that had to come to terms with that not the other way around.

Google Topic: they just won't understand , why?- beyondblue

In terms of a sting if bad luck I know your frustration. In the distant past I set about planning my life better to " cushion" the negatives effects of life. Eg a move to the country, change of career to a more relaxed one, erasing toxic people around me.

Google Topic: be radical- beyondblue

We have to dig deep. We have to never give up and at times we need a helping hand from the medical side.

Sit down and just as you plan your shopping list, plan your life.

Motivation lectures can help for a change of mindset.

Google Topic: 30 minutes can change your life- beyondblue

Topic: depression and sensitivity a connection- beyondblue

Topic: depression- a ship on the high seas- beyondblue

Tony WK

[StrugglingDad]

Short answer in my experience is the two go hand in hand. When I had bad anxiety, I was frequently depressed. When I was really depressed for years, I was frequently anxious over things that never used to scare me.

Shop around for GPs.

I had to when I hit the wall emotionally a while back. The first one I went to was belligerent and skeptical about mental health issues in general. The second I tried started writing a script for an antidepressant while I was answering his second question, basically trying to get me out the door so he could get his next bulk biller in there. I tried a few GPs around the area and found a really good one eventually who really listened and suggested a mental health plan and was very thorough.

A good GP will treat the anxiety first and see if that helps with the depression. Sometimes the anticipation of random anxiety attacks can cause depression and you can start to feel better once you feel a bit more in control of your fear. Sometimes not, in which case they will move on to dealing with the depression once the anxiety is under control.

One recommendation when dealing with GPs - let your guard down and tell them how bad it is on your worst day, warts n all.

They aren't as good as seeing through defense mechanisms as a therapist is, or sometimes they're too busy to be that interested. What some of the GPs mistake for 'drug seeking behavior' can infact just be you trying to keep your facade in tact while explaining how bad your situation is. The GP will mistake your pride for lying if that makes sense - and you will suffer just because they are trying to be ethical.

In the mean time please just tell yourself this one thing I have learned when your anxiety gets really bad, write it on post it notes and leave them around the house - Fear is a possessive liar.

It will tell you all kinds of fictional horror stories just so it can keep you at home in the dark, to spend some more quality time with you.

I hope this helps,

Adam

[Moonstruck]

Thank you WK for your google topics and for your caring response....it may take a while but I will pursue all of your leads....and that's interesting what you say re GPs, Struggling Dad - about their "mistaking pride for lying" and " I may suffer because they are trying to be ethical". I never thought of it that way and that maybe part of my problem..

I am glad she at least referred me to the therapist with whom I can be much more open - as you would say warts n all - I've always tried to be professional and not a time-waster in my working life - and aware that the GP's waiting room is full of kids with coughs and colds and new mothers with babies and toddlers etc - so I never overload her with my "other head stuff" if you get my drift.

It's not even light yet this morning - and I'd prefer it to stay this way - dark - I feel much safer. I don't have to interact or speak to anyone when it's dark and I am left alone. It's the daytime where I just can't avoid the rest of humanity - although I know I am part of it - I can return to the "real world"any time I like, but I do feel I need to spend "quality time with me" just now. Will the rest of the world let me do that? - it remains to be seen.

Thanks again to you both for your thoughts.......wishing you a good day.....

[geoff]

hi MS, yes just waiting for night to come was always what I wanted, so that no phones, no contact and no one calling around to see me was what I only wished for.
There can be a discussion on whether anxiety or depression begin separately or together, well I think this can vary from person to person but for me my anxiety caused me to get depression and for 56 years they are still hand in hand for me, I won't have just one of them without the other, because my depression causes me to get anxious, and when I'm anxious I get depressed.
I do accept that other people's interpretation may consider this not to be, and that's OK, I have no argument about this, but I go along with Adam.
When something awful happens you have to try and work your way through every inconceivable thought so that you can overcome it all, but if something else happens that upsets you then the thought of the first issue comes back and reopens to join the second terrible incident.
When I was young and started OCD was because every year a g/parent died, or people we used to call uncle/auntie also passed away and wondered who was next, that's when depression jumped on board and add to my anxiety, and my belief in any religion went out the window.
If you used to use alcohol as a back-stop then your doctor will be wary to give you medication that could become an addiction, because then you have another problem that needs to be cured.
Each time we have depression and are able to cope or overcome it, we then establish some sort of strength, something which you may not realise or actually know about, but it's there, so slowly bit by bit each time there will something you can do now, whereas before there was no way you would attempt to do it, so it's there hidden or not but over time you will realise.
You have been an inspiration on this site for many other people, so how about going through all the posts you replied to and read what the other peoples replies have also said back to this other person. Geoff. x

[Moonstruck]

Geoff, thanks for your insights here - I felt better reading your message. Yes you are probably right, that I have built up a certain strength over the years that kicks in when it's needed. I don't think I have given myself enough time to heal this time around - I expect to bounce back and show that quality called "resilience" straight away when some actual time is required......I maybe stronger than I give myself credit for - you seem to have put that possibility into my head today - and that can only be a positive thought to hold onto surely......best wishes to you.

[Karenh]

Hi! I hope you're feeling better today. One day at a time right?

I thought it might help to let you know that you can have anxiety and depression simultaneously. I was diagnosed with severe mixed anxiety and depression many moons ago.

I would recommend finding another GP. Stat.

Know you're not alone. Many of us have felt the dreaded feeling of not wanting to leave the house...hell some days I struggled with leaving the bed! It felt as though proverbial sharks were surrounding me. But not today, maybe tomorrow? It's not forever and there is help and ways to cope.

[Moonstruck]

Thanks Karenh - yes it seems the depression part is taking the lead just now. For the last week or so anyway, I feel so low it is sort of taking my mind off all the anxiety - is that a good thing? Trying hard to think of, and list all the things I have to be grateful for but just about everything around me today seems to highlight what is missing.

Things that some time back may have been a bit of a disappointment, or unfortunate, or some minor hiccup - have taken on monumental proportions, emphasising how much pain, loss and hurt there is in life- everywhere, and with everyone- no one seems to escape the pain. Sorry, but I can't seem to lift myself out of this one. Despite all the wonderful people on this Forum - and the fun that's been happening, in the Cafe, where we all strive to bring some sunshine to each other.

I haven't had need to cry much for years I've recently realised - now I can't stop.

[Lost_Girl]

Hi dear Moon,

I hope you take yourself along to a new GP as soon as you can. Sometimes a new perspective can help particularly when you've been seeing the same person for some time. Just be honest in proving details of your history and just say you're looking for a second opinion. Explain that you are crying all the time.

Not long ago I was literally crying all day and couldn't get myself out of the thoughts that caused it. My GP has put me on ADs to assist and while I am still sad, I am no longer in despair and no longer crying all day.

Much love to you beautiful.

Here for you xx

[geoff]

hi Moonstruck, sometimes we never know whether depression is leading anxiety or vice-versa because we feel lost in the wilderness of the black cloud, however one day it could be depression leading the way or then the next day it could be your anxiety and this is what confuses us, because they can be both linked.
We don't expect that any of our comments will cure you straight away, although that's what we would hope could happen, or perhaps one day something said has struck a chord for you, while another day you aren't able to feel better, but if one day out of a week you feel a bit better then something positive has happened.
We aren't the magic fairy with the magic wand, but what we are is that we have gone through this illness countless number of times, so even if on one day something has made you feel better then we are doing our job.
I never expect someone who has depression to change completely all at once and it's not something that can be overcome at the drop of a hat, so in other words we maybe talking to someone who feels great and on top of the world, but tomorrow they have a relapse, so the wholeprocess starts once again.
Never criticise yourself for not feeling better, that's a negative thought, just take comfort in knowing that you are trying your best, so you need to take it slowly. Geoff. x