Anxiety, I’m losing control ATM

[Matho61]

I am having out of control episodes with my anxiety that I’ve never experienced before in my life. Even had to leave work the other day as I thought I was going to collapse and needed to take a few days off. I’ve always had some form of anxiety as it runs in our family but the last 2 weeks I’ve been having attacks that are the worse ever in my life. Effecting my sleep, feeling sick, headaches. Even now I’m in bed where I should be relaxing and asleep but I’m stressing about work, the wedding I have to attend to next week and just the day ahead of me. I feel like I’m going to completely lose it. It’s the worse feeling ever, give me two broken legs any day. Has anyone here ever been that out of control bad and thought you were going to explode in your mind?

[Missing_Akaboo]

Hi Matho61,

Thanks for sharing. I logged in tonight overwhelmed and hysterical. I didn't know what to write or do, so I started reading what was being shared. In a little while I stopped crying, I started breathing better and I started to write replies. I still don't know what I am doing, but I do know that I am not crying and I am focused on replying to you and all the chaos swirling through my head is there, but not emotionally impacting me like it did earlier.

[Matho61]

So sorry to hear that Missing Akaboo, but I can relate to what you’re feeling. I’m new in here and even writing this seems to be helping to keep my mind intact I suppose. I’ve popped a med as well which has just kicked in. Have you seen your GP at all for help. I’ve seen mine yesterday and now I’m back on the meds I used to be on but will take a couple of weeks before they kick in.

[Missing_Akaboo]

Yes, but the medication has made it difficult to keep my emotions in check publicly and I am crying more when I am alone. I was told to wait as well, but I don't like how emotional and overwhelmed I am which are due to the increase in frequency of cruel reruns of past memories. I am however very calm now and these past hours of reading and writing has really focused my thoughts and I feel better. I hope you work out why work is so stressful and what you can do to reduce that stress. I hope your wedding anxiety reduces too.

[NMTB]

Hey Matho (and Missing Akaboo),

As a very long term Anxiety sufferer I can absolutely identify with what you describe. When Anxiety is in control, you can feel no control whatsoever over the escalating pace and range of thoughts coursing through your mind. This in turn can trigger (only making things worse) the physical response of your body including eg. a racing heart, bowel cramps/diarrhoea and nausea/vomiting.

I would often start each day like that as soon as I became conscious - incredibly debilitating. What works to help each of us is very individual. If you have a medication you know works for you that is great. Perhaps a mental health plan from your GP to see a Psychologist (if you haven't already been down that road) may be worthwhile to add a a few techniques to your management armoury when you are not on your medication. And/or maybe a chat with your GP about staying on your medication with reviews before you go off it so that you do have some "cover".

Whatever you decide, you are absolutely not alone in what you are experiencing, it is an all-consuming, frightening and debilitating thing that can be explained to non-sufferers on an intellectual level but you have to go through it to know how awful it feels.

All the best.

[Matho61]

(NMTB) Missing Akaboo, If your Dr has prescribed meds to you that is good. If they are similar to what I am waiting for to kick in, they will work. They can take 2 to 3 weeks to kick in unfortunately. Try and focus on that they will help and you will be as good as new. My wife is in a similar boat to us but feeling great now. She used to have non stop reruns of cruel memories also and has been seeing a psychiatrist for many years now which has helped her immensely, maybe this is something you can consider.

NMTB, Like you, I've been suffering from depression/anxiety off and on for 35 years. This time I've been off the meds for 5 months and was feeling fantastic. Then 2 weeks ago for no reason at all, I had a mild relapse, nothing triggered it. As the days went on (early this week) my anxiety level was that bad at work that I had to go home and have a few days off. It was the worse feeling of my life which I've never experienced before. I went straight to a local Dr (as my normal Dr is away) and he put me straight back on my meds, which I am now waiting for them to kick in. I also have a strong anxiety tablet which I am reluctant to take too often as they can be very addictive, but they help alot.