anxiety feeling lonely

[jo77]

Hi all,
I have never been involved or opened up like this before but I'm hoping getting it out will help. I have suffered with anxiety since i was a child ( about 30 years). When i was 17 my life became unbearable and i went to see a psychologist who diagnosed me with socialphobia, agoraphobia and panic disorder. It controls every part of my life, although i gained prettyi
good control of it in the past, i feel like I'm losing my grip. Fearing that my children will become like me and that my husband
doesnt really like to talk about it, i have become an expert on hiding it. But the anxiety gets too much and the panic attacks are getting worse again. I haven't worked in almost two years and the panic attacks leave me exhausted all the time. My biggest fear is that I'm a burden on my children and my husband but the alternative (to leave) is more than i can bear. i cant stand the lonliness and I'm scared that depression will be added to my list.
Wow I needed to get that out there. Thanks bb

[JessF]

Hi jo77, what a laundry list of diagnoses. I wonder if you feel like those labels are controlling you too, and with worrying about depression too, having another one to add to the list. I don't know whether it might be helpful to start by putting the labels to one side and just starting from the position of: hey, I'm not coping right now and I need some help. Try not to see it as something being WRONG with you, because that is where all those horrible feelings of blame, guilt and burden are coming from.

When was the last time you went to see your doctor? I can sense the relief in you getting these feelings out in the open. At the moment you're like a can of soft drink that's been shaken up and is waiting to be opened. Please make that appointment and get that help you need. Anxiety can go away and then flare up again. 

Another thing about anxiety is terror about the MIGHT BE. Feelings take trumps over facts. You say that you fear that your husband doesn't like to talk about it... have you tried to talk to him?  You fear that you are a burden to your kids, but do you have any evidence for that?  Hope you'll stay with us and chat some more.

[jo77]

Hi JessF, thanks for taking the time to read my post. It has been a while since i talked to a profesional. My gp has just told me that i have an underactive thyroid which is not helping either. I feel a little better today after reading other sufferers stories . on here. Im definantely not alone, and i know that. just feel like i am sometimes(ah the joys of irrational thoughts lol) So today i spent some time gathering my thoughts and seperating the good from the bad with some isometrics thrown in. Feeling slightly more positive, i have just always felt that the sense of aloneness has always been the worst of it all. Thanks again