Anxiety controls me!

[AnxietyGirl95]

Well where do I start. I'm not completely sure whats wrong with me. But I know I suffer from really bad social anxiety. I get nervous around people. I'm too scared to talk. I'm worried about what they will think about me. I over think everything a d I create scenarios in my head that are just ridiculous. I'm scared of people in the world. I like to be alone. But I really don't wanna be alone. I wanna talk to people and make friends but I'm just too nervous and shy. I hide away. I stay in my house as much as possible. I'm worried about being ridiculed or laughed at. I'm so scared to just be me... Does anyone else have this problem? Please tell me I'm not alone... I let people walk over me because I'm too scared to act like myself. I'm quiet and insanely shy.... I have no friends anymore. I never used to be like this. Something changed. Maybe something traumatic I'm not sure of exactly what. It's been too long since I've had a real conversation with anyone but my partner and my mother. I'm always so down. Im depressed because of my anxiety. When things get complicated or someone does something to embarrass me even tho it's nothing major I freak out and I cry.... To be honest when I try to talk to someone about these things I cry my eyes out....

[demonblaster]

Hi darl welcome

You poor thing that'd be the pits, hun I'll get back to talk with you

Putting you on my threads

And yes there's sadly many people that have anxiety so you're definately not alone & either are you here, talk as much as you like

[geoff]

hello AnxietyGirl, I know it must be awful feeling like this and social anxiety will make you think that everyone will laugh and joke at you, that's the illness doing this to you and it can be a common problem with having social anxiety.

Anxiety and depression are both linked, so if you have one of these, then the other is right behind so you may have to put on a fake mask in each different occasion, but this becomes too tiring after a while and that's why you are crying because you don't have any defense.

I feel sorry for you because I have been there myself and know what it feels like, but each situation maybe different in how you feel and are affected.

It may only take something small to start making you feel this way and then the rest may follow, and these scenarios you are thinking of could be 'intrusive thoughts'.

A psychologist could help you unravel these thoughts. Geoff.

[kira44]

Hi AnxietyGirl95,

I can totally relate to everything you have said. It is a really horrible place to be and probably feels like it will not get better but this is untrue, it can and it will. I have social anxiety and manifest situations in my head and also try to avoid people and certain situations. I often get embarrassed when I have to talk to someone for no reason at all.

I think the first step you should take is to talk to your GP about how you are feeling and let them direct you to a professional for help. The first step will be hard but it sounds like you need to make it in order to start the healing process.

You are not alone and I wish you all the best

[demonblaster]

Hey AG Geoff & welcome too Kira

Helpful replies from above, I too really feel for you darl, something must have caused this & I agree with both above that professional help can be of great help & hopefully can find the cause & go from there, & they can help with coping mechanisms

Crying's exhausting but it's a good release of stress, wondering if you do any exercise which can be done at home which also is a great benefit for release. Hard to motivate, takes pushing through but after a while it gets easier and better to go into it slowly rather than full on and get put off.

Meditation, don't know if you've dabbled with that, maybe google or search bar here top R)
I've successfully achieved it even for a couple of minutes gives the mind a rest from the constant pain, you can make your own up by imagining being somewhere calm and comfortable, focusing on how relaxed you feel and on your breathing which helps with relaxation too. Maybe sitting on the beach watching the water, looking at stars or having a lovely massage I imagined once & my head was all over the shop, just keep refocusing back to it.

These two apps a couple of lovely people from here have said they're very good esp the Insight one. Their ph: apps

Insight timer...guided meditation and relaxing music, free
Smiling mind

With a MHCP-mental health care plan you can get up to 10 free visits a yr

I too use to have those scenarios happening but not as much now, intrusive thoughts yeah they sure are, still do & am working on emotional control & learning about depression which is helping to work out how to get through.

My thoughts are you weren't like this before so with help, too much to tackle alone you can get back to where you were.

I'm glad you have your Mum & partner & for now anyway you have people here with you for more support although not face to face still real people 🙂