Anxiety causing me to feel worthless

[NonXen]

Hello, nice to meet all of you.

I'm only 18 (turning 19 in a couple of weeks) and I've been coping with anxiety for years. My anxiety is so horrible that I physically can't get myself to leave the house without someone inviting me to go outside (eg. parents or friends). Even then, I still tend to refuse to go outside. I am also unemployed, I had a job before but I was just working for my family's business.

I don't wish to go back to working with my family because they emotionally and verbally abuse me. I still live with my mum but she's out for most days so I don't see her often.

I've seen a professional in the past but going to one is very uncomfortable for me and I tend to have small panic attacks when I'm around them. I feel very useless, and the feeling is just getting worse.

This feeling makes it hard for me to do anything for myself, the only thing so far I've been doing is playing games online and neglecting to take care of myself.

I don't know what to do. I can't get a job because I just can't deal with the stress, the anxiety. I don't want to get help from my parents or a professional because my parents abuse me and the professional makes me uncomfortable. I don't want to burden my friend with even more of my baggage as she's going through things herself.

I can't deal with this anymore. I don't know what to do that'll make me feel better about my life.

[Dorothy1]

Dear NonXen,

Firstly welcome to these forums and thank you for sharing your story with us. You did the right thing coming here and opening up.

Anxiety is really debilitating and makes you feel like you are not living your life like you should as it lets you fearful of many things. Your situation is not helping either since you do not feel supported by your family and do not wish to bother your friend with your issues.

Since you have enough insight to understand that you need help (and that is a massive step) but do not feel comfortable seeing a professional, maybe you could try some phone apps? There are some really good ones that are free and that you could use on your mobile phone! Here are some that you may try if you wish: "Head space", "Calm", "Self-Help for Anxiety Management (SAM)". You can find more online and you can try a few and choose the one you prefer, since they are free.

Do you like reading? I have a book that I absolutely recommend anyone to read: "Flourish" - Martin Seligman. It is excellent (in my humble opinion). One of its best features is helping you to find your best strengths. I am sure that you would not feel useless after reading it! 🙂 There is also a website where you can take the strengths test for free. https://www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu/home this link is if you want to have a look at things around positive psychology. You can find tests also on this page.

I hope it helps. All the best.

Dot

[Summer Rose]

Hi NonXen

Welcome to bb.

I am so sorry that you are struggling and I understand why, anxiety can be quite debilitating at times. The good news is that, anxiety is a common condition and with the right treatment many people recover.

Reaching out here for support is a great start. I think Dot has given you some excellent advice, which I won't repeat. I'd like to just add a few thoughts.

I'd like to encourage you to visit your GP. You may find visiting your GP to be less daunting than seeing a "professional" and your GP will likely be able to provide some good advice to help you. Please make a double appointment so that you have time to talk through your issues.

I'd also like to suggest that you keep trying to get outside the house, as some exercise is really helpful when dealing with anxiety. How does a walk to the end of your street sound? Or maybe just to the letterbox? Set small goals and see how you go.

Kind thoughts to you

[NonXen]

Thank you both for the advice. I haven't heard of those apps before and I'll go and try them! I know it's very hard for me to go outside but I'll try and see if I can just get myself to go to the mailbox or at least down the stairs since I'm living on the 2nd floor, haha.

Thank you both for the tips and I'll keep them in mind!

NonXen

[Dorothy1]

Dear NonXen,

That is great, just like Summer Rose said, one step at a time. The small goals that you set for yourself will have the most impact as they are the most achievable. Also celebrate each victory! If you go to the mailbox, that is a victory! If you download a phone app that is a first step towards more victories! 🙂 You will get through this! And then one day you will be ready to seek face-to-face help with a professional and you will work together to make your life easier! 🙂

Dot