My anxiety has had me backed into a place I cannot even describe at times..
My anxiety began in 2008 when my best friend persistently asked me to take a helicopter tour with her and two other friends, which I declined as I had to attend to my daughter who was unwell at that time.
I let another friend use my ticket to take my place on the helicopter. Later that afternoon I was informed of the tragic accident and all of the passengers passing..
This obviously left me traumatized and naturally devastated suffering with grief and loss.
I struggle with simple activities like driving my car, my heart races and all I want is to get out. I have terrible anxiety over other people's driving and absolutely refuse to get in a vehicle with people who I feel aren't paying attention to safe driving or should I say making me feel safe with their driving. Even going to the grocery store. Flying was out of the question, although the fear is still there. This is really scary for me.
I have hot flushes, I start to feel light headed, my vision goes blurry and sometimes feel off balance.
Another occasion my partner insisted we go to the fair and asked me to promise to go on one ride only.It was daunting when I noticed the operators spraying cooking oil on the mechanics of the ride. Well... that was the worst feeling and close enough to a near death experience I have ever had. I got thrown from the top of the cage to the bottom, my hands were so sweaty that I could not properly grip the bars directly in front of me for stability, naturally I gripped the side wall of the cage and held on for dear life. I could hear my partner reassuring me it was still ok and felt him gently touch my arm, I screamed in horror for him not to touch me which scared him. After grasping for air from being throttled around like a rag doll the ride stopped. We got out, I looked at my hand which was bleeding from holding on so tight. Later when we arrived home, the thought of it caused me some serious chest pain which made me believe I was having a heart attack. I went straight to the hospital and was told I was having another anxiety attack which was triggered simply by thought. This is now becoming something serious that I need some or complete control over.
Anyone else going through this?
