Anxiety and Self Esteem - Feels Impossible to Switch off

[Tsarism]

Hello to anyone who is kind enough to take a minute and read this - it's appreciated whether or not it is responded to.

I've never posted on here before, but feel the urge to voice some thoughts and concerns to people who may understand without being judgemental or insincere. 

Social anxiety and a deep feeling of loneliness has recently taken control of my world, which is constantly exacerbated by low self esteem.  It's a cliche, but the mixture has become almost completely overwhelming, and my thoughts are inundated with these feelings from the moment I wake to the moment I fall asleep.

One of the most irritating issues here is that I feel as if it is literally impossible to take my mind elsewhere. I can't shake the feelings no matter how hard I try, and my brain honestly can't switch off and relax...

Any thoughts or real tips/tricks that have helped others escape from such thoughts (even for a short while) are welcomed.

Thanks

[White_Rose]

Hello Tsarism

Welcome to BB and congratulations on your first post.  Distressing thoughts consuming the mind, and energy, is a feature of anxiety and depression and makes you feel as though you are going nuts.  It takes a real effort to dislodge these thoughts, which seems a little unfair when we can forget other things, quite often important things, at the drop of a hat.

I have found that switching to a task or occupation that takes concentration to manage is a good alternative.  I have found housework not a good substitute, although this may be because I don't like housework.  It needs to be something that you really need to think about while you are doing it. TV is not good because it does not really hold the attention.  Reading can do the trick, but not in my case.

To be a bit more positive, I find gardening good.  You need to be careful you are pulling out weeds not plants you want to keep.  Hobbies that you really enjoy and are of absorbing interest can help.  Sometime crossword puzzles or jigsaw puzzles.  Sewing or painting, having a good clean out of your dressing table drawers, or similar, cooking, trying out new recipes etc.

Talking to others can be great because it gives you a different focus, but if you feel uncomfortable in company this may not work so well.

I have found meditation good.  It is the concentration on meditating that stops the other thoughts.  Perhaps yoga or martial arts.

I hope you get the idea.  Doing something that keeps the mind really active and if possible the body as well, gives relief for longer than just doing the activity.  The effect will last for a while afterwards.

The biggest difficulty is motivating yourself to get up and do something.  Once you are moving you have taken the first step which is the hardest. I hope these suggestions will help you or remind you of other interests in your life.

Please post back with your successes.  I look forward to hearing about  your good results.

Regards

White Rose

[Tanzi]

Hi Tsarism, it is a real dilema and white rose is on the mark with what she is saying. The doctor can also help with tablets. I take one  that helps calm me so I can see things a bit clearer but they don't do all the work.

Have you ever heard you are what you think? Something has happened to your inner voice that has made you lose confidence and it needs retraining. You can do positive self affirmations, make your own or google to get an idea, or everytime you feel a negative thought creep in acknowledge it and replace it with a positive one, or keep a gratitude journal and only write things you are greatful for even if it's breathing or bed or a pet.

I'm in the middle of a similar situation and it is starting to work it's just a matter of keeping it up until it becomes natural....says me lol

I'm looking forward to see how you get on. Keep us posted x

[Tsarism]

Thank you both for some well thought out responses, and some ideas as to how I can funnel my thoughts/concentration elsewhere.  It is much appreciated.

I'm definitely realising that I need to be stimulated with activities that will actually require adequate concentration, and White Rose is right about things such as watching TV limiting the ability to actually hold enough attention.  The monotony of the working week is probably doing me no good at the moment, and I ought to have a good think about some interests or a hobby that can take up some of my week.

My inner voice has definitely lost a lot of confidence of late, and I suspect that this is probably the melting pot for issues of low self esteem and social anxieties.  I have decided to start seeking help with a psychologist, and will discuss this with a close friend who has had experience with counselling, (definitely need to get it off my chest, if only for momentary relief).

Positive self affirmation sounds like it's definitely needed, and I will try to look into it and do my best not to be too harsh on myself.  Thanks for the suggestion Tanzi.  I'm also interested in seeking out some sort of meditation exercise, so hopefully I can find something that allows me to be at peace with my own thoughts.

I suspect there is a long road ahead and my introspective thoughts will definitely need to be re-jigged if I am to be content with myself...such is the human condition, and one can only hope to walk the walk and deal with it.

[White_Rose]

Dear Tsarism

So glad you were able to respond and in such a positive manner.  Unfortunately you are quite right, it is a long road.  It's a trite remark but the longest journey starts with a single step and you have now made that step.  Well done.

As I understand it you are entitled to 12 free psychologist consultations if you go to your GP and get a mental health plan.  I suggest you see your GP and discuss this with him/her.  Your doctor may suggest you go to a psychiatrist and will give you a referral.  This means you will get Medicare refunds on the consultation costs. If you are not working you may want to discuss the possibility of your doctor bulk billing you.

If you do not have a GP or have a GP you are not comfortable with, then look at the list of GPs recommended by BB.  At the top of the page click on Resources/Health Professionals and put your postcode into the search box.  These doctors are trained to manage mental health issues and approved by BB.

Good luck on your journey and let us know how you are going.

White Rose

[Mel...]

Hi Tsarism,

Reading your post gave me some peace of mind, knowing that i'm not the only one. I have also just started a 'self esteem journey'. Constantly putting myself down in my mind is starting to affect my relationships and I don't want to be that person anymore.

Ive started yoga, meditation, exercise and therapy (again), Ive also been on medication for about 6 years now. 

Hopefully it all works for us...

Mel. 

[Tsarism]

Thanks again for the thoughtful responses guys...it really means a lot to see such consideration from others who understand how it feels.

It definitely helps to know that one is in fact not alone, even though issues of low self esteem and anxiety often feel very lonely..

I have been referred to a psychologist through my GP and have had a few sessions so far, so here's hoping that this will help me to reflect on my own feelings and positive features.

My current mental state is far from healthy, and it just so happens that I appear to be getting along well with a girl who I'm genuinely interested in at the moment, (could be viewed as bad timing or good timing for me!)  This is a little scary, as I'll admit the thought of losing this opportunity because of the issues I'm currently facing scares me...

Progress is slow and it's still hard to take my mind off these issues, but I'm starting to understand just how important it is for each and every human being to be content with themselves as an individual, to embrace everything that makes them who they are.

I hope to update this thread with some sort of tangible progress.   

[Mel...]

Hi Tsarism,

I was having a hard time today and started re-reading my old posts. I just wanted to check in and see how you were going?

Hopefully there has been some said 'tangible progress'. I feel like I am relapsing. I have lacked in the meditation/exercise/therapy lately; time to pick it all back up again i'd say.

Hope you're well.