Anxiety and panic triggered by kids

[Guest_9486]

Hi. I have 3 small kids and have lived with anxiety most of my life but have found that since having kids my anxiety has become much worse. I often feel panicked that I’m just not cut out for being a parent. (I’m a great mum but just feel so completely overwhelmed sometimes that it comes out in physical symptoms nausea, vomiting, feeling dizzy etc). My husband is very supportive of me and extremely understanding but I’m very worried about my anxiety affecting our marriage as I will often want to avoid going places with the kids etc. Also I have noticed that my panic attacks are also being set off when he becomes angry with the kids so it’s kind of this horrible cycle of me getting flustered and can’t handle the kids, then he trying to sort things out and gets angry with them, then my anxiety escalates til I have to go lay down because I’m totally panicking. I saw a psychologist and got help with some advice and techniques and also have a medication to just take when I have a bad attack (not everyday). But here I am at 4am triggered into panic because my son woke up crying with a tummy ache.... like what the hell! I shouldn’t be panicking because of that! Does anyone else experience this?

[LoVeMyBaBiEs]

Hi SamDowd,

I have anxiety too and found that once I had my first child the anxiety got much, much worse. I have two babies now. Halfway through my pregnancy with my second child I ended up on medication, which helped a lot.

What are the main things that you worry about? For me, it was them hurting themselves or something going wrong and them being hurt.

I was always crying and upset until I started medication and it took the edge off. Now I feel like I can handle things a little better and enjoy my babies more.

Are there certain places in particular you want to avoid going?

[Guest_9486]

I find I get very overwhelmed just at how much I’m needed .... for every task. I’m able to cope happily most days but something seemingly small like my child having a tantrum about not wanting to brush his teeth can just send me into a panic. Or if one of my kids is sick My anxiety amps right up. It’s so frustrating because those things are daily occurrences with kids so can’t really be avoided. I find Myself wanting to avoid social situations with other people and their kids as I’m paranoid about being judged badly if one of my kids behaves badly. One day a person yelled at my kids to shut up because they were running and screaming whilst at the park. Well.... I had to evacuate back home and had a two day panic attack over that one. I know it’s not rational but somethings just trigger a bad reaction in me and then I get panicked just at the thought of doing that activity again.

[LoVeMyBaBiEs]

I completely understand how overwhelming it is when they are little and need us for so much. I’m the same when I go out with my kids about worrying what others will think and I can get flustered too.

That person yelling at your kids was so rude! Kids are meant to run and yell at the park, they are kids just having fun.

To be honest I’m not that much help because it sounds like I’m similar to you. I always wish I could be like my husband, he never worries about anything!

[LoVeMyBaBiEs]

Oh I was going to say too do you get a break from the kids? Do you have anyone to go see a movie with?

Sometimes I find a break away from the kids when I’m feeling overwhelmed with how much I’m needed can help. I have gone to the movies by myself a couple of times too.

[Guest_9486]

When they are back at school I am able to have more time to recharge. All these mums going ‘yay it’s school holidays’ and I’m thinking ‘oh no!’ Terrible isn’t it. having said that though, the kids have been pretty good these holidays and even did chores around the house! Hopefully my anxieties will ease as they get older and a little more reasonable and independent. Fingers crossed.