Anxiety and over thinking?

Amyy_93 · ‎16-08-2013

I suffer from bad anxiety, and when I get anxious I tend to over think situations.
I am a negative person and always see the bad in things. I am also a very insecure person, especially about my relationship.
I get anxious about the silliest things, driving, when my boyfriend goes somewhere without me, and lots of other things.
My relationship is suffering because of me, my anxiety kicks in and I worry about things when I have no reason to, for example if he goes to hang out with a mate I always get anxious and then over think and over analyze the situation thinking 'what if hes cheating? what if hes only pretending to love me? what if he doesn't really want to be with me and hasn't left me because he feels sorry for me?' And when I get anxious about these things I always question him and it just causes a fight. He is very supportive and tells me everyday how much he loves me, he is still with me despite all the shit I have put him through.
Every little thing he does makes me anxious, in fact a lot of things in my life does. I always lash out and start arguments and make things worse, especially when I am tired. I live with my boyfriend and I have no friends where we live so it's hard to escape, I have made him my world, the only thing in my world and have become obsessed, and that bothers me but I can't seem to fix it.
I also suffer depression and have had thoughts about killing myself, never would I actually do it, but I think about it.
I just want to get better, what are the steps I need to take in order to become happier and anxiety free, so I can concentrate on fixing my relationship before it's too late and I ruin it completely.

Scotty2013 · ‎01-05-2014

Hi MJC, Great news on the alcohol, as much as we think it helps, doesnt only make matters worse. Change well only as far as trying to keep the mindfulness going, so far that's helped met he most with over thinking. Just being aware of when it starts, then trying to distract/ stop it...rather than let it go on for hours on end. Slowly but surely we will get there, I've only been at Mindfulness for a year but i like it 🙂

Lavender · ‎02-05-2014

HI MJC

Your situation is so much like mine.

I have been in a relationship the last 3 years and the last 12 months have been the worst - with issues of trust, communication, his frustration and my anxiety. Its like the first two years were great - and then wham - its like I started to be anxious about everything and everyone..along with his naturally dominating nature..

My anxiety has caused so many issues - but I also know he has contributed to it too by who he is and how he reacts to things.

I think the expectations are the hard things to manage! I think the more our partners reassure us the worse I get.. It is like I subconsciously am trying to show they are wrong.. and the reassurance makes me feel worse because I 'shouldn't' be so difficult to him..

I just spiral into thinking he is wrong.. wrong about loving me, wrong about me being worthy, I dont know..

But the expectations - and when things change is so hard to manage.. the anxiety kicks in worse than having a car accident and it is such a strong physical and emotional reaction of fight or flight..

And when we have disagreements - he will always put it down to my anxiety - even when it is not anxiety - it is simply him being an ***.. but it is so easy to blame me - and then I get internally questioning and overthinking and then I dont have trust in myself or what happens and that goes on all the time and he convinces me it is me..

I am currently in the spot where we have decided (in a fight) to call it off finally.

My question is = how do you be strong enough to leave when you know you should and know you will be ok..How do you not go back and just keep apologising and trying to manage it.. the pull is so strong..

Its like the cycle actually reinforces the anxiety and that i am not worthy of being with anyone but him..

😞

Not a good week this week..