Hello Lyss, when we have a good day, and then night with a partner/spouse, then there are no problems, our postive thoughts kick in and very strongly, but as soon as we have a small tiff that's when the negative thoughts start and probably for no reason at all, but no one can have a perfect relationship, and even if this was possible, it actually might be quite boring after a while.
We need to stimulate our brain and not have it on 'auto drive', because when this happens we can be confused and disorientated and lost on what to do and may get caught out on what should happen.
Being confident means you can handle both the positives as well as the negatives so you can then make a decision, but being unsure may mean an accumulation of questions you ask yourself but can't find an answer or too scared to do so or may be there is a list of doubtfuls your partner/spouse has continually been making that frightens you.
If you have anxiety about your future, then don't brood over it because it will only become worse and other doubts will become attached to everything else, making your situation cause other problems with school, uni, work or family member, talk about it straight away and if you need a third person to initiate this discussion then ask for it.
A partnership or marriage is never clear sailing, there can be hurdles that may need to be jumped over, but at times may be better for the two of you.
If it persists and you don't know the truth, then this has to be sorted out.
Take care.
Geoff.
