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Anxiety about starting new job

PCL
Community Member
Hi, I’ve been suffering from depression & anxiety for past 4 years after I was bullied at work from management after a workplace injury. I’ve been seeing a psychiatrist regarding this & they just seem to put me on pills. My biggest issues are I apply for positions & go to interviews & 90% of the time get the job. I’m always really excited to start but then it all changes on the morning of starting. I can’t move & my anxiety just wont allow me to go in, so I email my new employer & make up excuse after excuse so never end up going. I recently got another position after 3 interviews & really sounds like a great place to work & full time with a reasonably good pay rate. My problem was I was meant to start this morning & again same anxiety set in so I made usual excuse & said I will need to start Monday which new employer has agreed to. I’ve tried taking paxam anxiety tablet befor bed & that still didn’t work. Any advice on how I might be able to get my anxiety in order so I can really get my life back on track & get back working again. I’m 48yo male. Thank you
38 Replies 38

Guest_093
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member
hi rodda i found with my working life that you just each day as it comes, yes you are nervous and anxious and everything else that is acceptable try not to look at it too much and worry- lots and lots of subtle relaxing breaths otherwise I found the bloody negatives take over and convince you that you are not worth it and believe you me you are totally worth it that is 1 way I found to help the worrisome anxiety. hope this helps a little? Cheers Spitfire1, keep us posted please.

PCL
Community Member

Hey Rodda I’m probably not the right person to answer that as I failed for that exact reason. But Lilly2016 has been doing fantastically so she will be the one who may be able to help.

I wish you all the luck Rodda

lilly2016
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member
Hey, so omg! One week of hell really, but I got through, pretending your calm helps to a certain extent until some bully wants to take you down a few notches, then everything turns pear shaped. Breathing slowly, walking slowly, thinking slowly, if you can helps, but seriously you cannot do that until your exhausted little.

lilly2016
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member
Well work was really hectic and quite stressful, there wasn't enough training to begin with and the person that was training me didn't know that much, there were a couple of mistakes I made which made me feel awful and a couple of people that got a bit narky with me on my first week, so I can't say it was the best week for me,. I'm m On my own as from tomorrow and I really hope I can pull this off, I'm very concerned. We will see what happens I can only do my best and I'm not going to take the odd comment towards me too personally. If it doesn't work out well at least I can say I did my best It's early days, but my anxiety is through the roof and I'm just so stressed, I will let you know how I go next week and hopefully I've got better news and results. I hope you are doing well, we all just got to keep pushing through and hope for the best.

lilly2016
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member
Sorry I meant to reply to PCL, I hope all is well with you, there are plenty of ways to relieve anxiety according to the Web, but it's what works for you, unfortunately I struggle to make it work for me, but I do try.

PCL and Lilly, I'm so sorry to hear how tough it is for you at the moment. I really want to share my experience in case it helps, so here goes. (I'm not sure what your field is; I work in an office environment).

1. Choose 1-2 de-escalation techniques or grounding techniques that you can use when anxiety starts to rise, before it becomes overwhelming. Good ones for me are to repeat five things I can see over and over until I'm back in the present, or to touch five things while saying their name. (One drawback is that you may seem crazy, so I do it in the toilet at work if I have to.)

2. Play the long game with regard to bullies or potential obstacles. They might get the better of you or make you feel small once or twice, but just remember - and it's true - that these people won't prosper; they have their own inadequacies and are terrified you're going to see them; and you don't need their approval in order to do well.

3. If anxiety and depression are affecting you cognitively, write everything down - carry around a notebook or have a file open on your desktop. If you can keep track of all your tasks, then even when/if you don't complete them all on time, you'll know what's outstanding and don't need to feel overwhelmed or out of control.

4. Sleep well. Eat well. Exercise well. This is the hardest one for me because I live on adrenaline, coffee, and wine, but it's absolutely essential to me not being agitated or tired, which will lead into stress and anxiety. I spent years thinking this advice was probably true but a little trite, and a couple of breakdowns later I realise it's the key.

5. I tried schema therapy and my biggest lifetrap was fear of failure (duh); it was really insightful to see that I was a 'type' and that there were steps I could take to make changes in my life. My GP said that he sends patients to psychiatrists for medication and to psychologists for the mental work - maybe you would get something good out of trying a psychologist instead of psychiatrist?

PCL, can I ask what your anxieties around work are about? What are you afraid is going to happen? For me, for example, feeling out of my depth and under pressure made me overwhelmed and I was afraid I'd get fired, but I then catastrophised it into losing my house, all jobs ever, my husband, daughter, and eventually my mind. That sounds facetious, but it's exactly what I feared. Obviously I then just felt even more pressure and fear and so it all snowballed.

PCL
Community Member
Hi Lily, I hope it’s going better for you & your anxiety levels are dropping as you learn more & become more confident. I’m glad to hear you are not letting any small remarks get you down. You are doing great & I’m really really proud of you.

lilly2016
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member
Hey PCL, yes I'm still going and feeling the pressure, but getting much more confident in my role apart from a few teething problems that I'm still trying to get my head around here and there. I just cannot wait until I'm 100 percent at my new job. I have gone through some tough times I tell u, Sleepless nights, shaking, just massive anxiety attacks, nausea and sweats, but I'm feeling a lot more relaxed now, but I'm really unsure what they think about me, I haven't really made any friends as yet. I hope it runs more smoothly next week I really do. It's Friday tomorrow, yay! I'm even happier on a Friday when I'm not working for some reason, I guess it's just the atmosphere, people around you seem more relaxed and happier. Anyway it's been a struggle so far but I'm proud of myself too! Considering everything, considering I had thoughts of not even going to the interview and then when sitting waiting to be interviewed I was thinking of excuses to tell the receptionist why I had to go, such as an emergency or something, lol! Thanks for saying your proud of me too, makes a difference. I hope all is going well in your world, I will keep you posted of how I'm travelling.

Thanks for your post jolly dolly, it really helped, its just nice to know your not alone in this world with this. I think sometimes it can all get so overwhelming and hearing from someone else that has experienced similar situations and feelings really helps, with some good pointers in there too.

PCL
Community Member
Lily that’s great news. I enjoy hearing how you are doing. I feel it in my water (something my grandma used to say) that you have this under control. My profile picture, would you believe I was driving along a country road & actually saw a horse sitting like that, was very funny. Keep up the great work