Anxiety about starting new job

[PCL]

Hi, I’ve been suffering from depression & anxiety for past 4 years after I was bullied at work from management after a workplace injury. I’ve been seeing a psychiatrist regarding this & they just seem to put me on pills. My biggest issues are I apply for positions & go to interviews & 90% of the time get the job. I’m always really excited to start but then it all changes on the morning of starting. I can’t move & my anxiety just wont allow me to go in, so I email my new employer & make up excuse after excuse so never end up going. I recently got another position after 3 interviews & really sounds like a great place to work & full time with a reasonably good pay rate. My problem was I was meant to start this morning & again same anxiety set in so I made usual excuse & said I will need to start Monday which new employer has agreed to. I’ve tried taking paxam anxiety tablet befor bed & that still didn’t work. Any advice on how I might be able to get my anxiety in order so I can really get my life back on track & get back working again. I’m 48yo male. Thank you

[lilly2016]

Omg are you serious about the horse! That is so funny. I love horses. Yes thank you for the encouragement, it helps a lot. I'm starting to think all these bad thoughts now though, such as, I'm not good enough, I look like I don't know what I'm doing, they don't like me, can I cope continuing this way, they think I'm incompetent, I don't come across confident just all this sort of crap which is doing my head in, I feel like they are going to pull me aside and say I'm not suited, but if they do at least I have done the best I can and I should be at least proud of that. I really have to try not to take things personally though, people can be crap, with narcissistic traits or bullying ways, or just plain nasty and I do try to stay clear of them but unfortunately they are unavoidable.have a great day.

[lilly2016]

Hiya, so I have just completed my third week of work and I'm quite proud of myself, I'm sick as well, I got a flu but still managed to get on with it regardless. I've learnt so much more thank god! I was feeling a bit lost there for a while. I still don't completely fit in but that's just me, I'm quite shy anyway and I don't let a lot of people in, so it takes time for me to form friendships due to this there are some good people there and some not so nice people, just like everywhere I guess. Anxiety is getting better but I'm still waking at 4am with a lot of things going through my mind, which makes me really tired but unable to fall back to sleep. When I'm really tired I make silly mistakes that make me laugh, but not everyone sees the humour in it. I hope by Monday I can have a more positive outlook so I can perform the best I can. I'm looking forward to the weekend just so I can rest up somewhat. Hoping all is well.

[PCL]

Great to hear you are doing so well Lily. It’s really good you have a little laugh at yourself when you make silly little mistakes, reading that actually made me laugh. You sound like you are getting more & more confident & starting to enjoy your work again as that happens.

Ive just started getting calls again for interviews, so here I go again. You have given me so much confidence just seeing how you have been coping & winning so thank you.

[lilly2016]

That's good to know that I give you a little encouragement, yes my silly little mistakes come from lack of sleep so I really gotta work on that. It's all going so much better now though compared to the first week that's for sure. It's really good to hear your getting calls for interviews again too, I know how daunting it all is. I don't know about you but I actually had to psyc myself up to call back for a interview, I nearly let it slide, its like that movie sliding doors, if you have watched it? if I chose not to call back I probably would still be in the same situation I was before I called. I hope u go for it and I hope your ready. All the best!

[Nicole73]

Hi Lilly & PCL. This is an older thread so I understand that my message may not get read, but that's ok. But if it does, can I say how brave and wonderful you are. I quit my last job after 1 week because of my anxiety. I am in the midst of applying for jobs again and look like I may get through to an interview soon and already I'm thinking the worst and my stomach is in knots and my head is going all crazy. It's actually nice to read your posts and hear that I am not alone with regards to being anxious about new jobs. PCL, I fully understand why you quit and I feel like I want to contact the people currently looking at my job application and tell them not to worry as I have found another job (which I haven't of course), but I know I have to persevere and see how I go. Lilly, your strength and determination is very inspiring and actually helps me to keep on going. You are finding the positives amongst what sounds like a hard few first weeks in a new job. And you also sound like you are doing fantastically. I wish I could work in the area you work in as I would make you feel welcomed as I know how hard it is when starting out. Anyhow, just wanted to leave a little message of thanks and if you read this, I would love to know how you are all going now?

[Shelley08]

Hi Lilly2016, I've never looked at a forum before, but I really got a lot out of reading about your strory starting a new job and all the posts from other people. I've just finished my third week in a new job and I'm still so anxious. I left a job I was really good at and really enjoyed due to bullying from my boss. I'm still carrying the stress and anxiety left from the bullying at my last job. I really miss my old job and team. Struggling in my new job wondering if they like me; not feeling like I fit in that well; very insecure about whether they think I'm doing a good job. The new workplace is fairly unorganised, so it has been frustrating just to get up and running. Last night I was thinking of quitting. Any thoughts?

[Shelley08]

I am finding all your posts so helpful - thankyou. I haven't been on a forum below and didn't realise how helpful they can be. Thankyou all for your honesty and encouragement of each other. I've never been this nervous for this long in a new job (just finished my third week) but I think it's because of left over feelings of insecurity after being bullied by my boss in my last job. Any thoughts about how to calm down in my new job? Last night I was thinking of quitting.

[lilly2016]

Well I haven't been in these forums for a while, just wondering how you are all going with the job losses due to covid 19 and social distancing. Times have changed.

[LoopDeDoop]

Hi everyone,

I start my first day at work on Monday and I am anxious. Hopefully all goes well. It was great to read I'm not the only one who has to deal with this crap. I believe once i get there and start after an hour or two my subconscious brain will realise there is no threat and let me function without wanting to throw up.