Anxiety about losing free time after starting full time work.

[losingit04]

Hi guys,

I'm no stranger to anxiety. I've probably had it since 13 (undiagnosed) and started seeing someone to talk about it at 18.

I'm still pretty young (23) and I've just started my first full on job. For the next two weeks it's 9am-5pm everyday, after that I get put on a rotating roster that is about 55hrs per fortnight.

I did uni last year and had all the summer for free time over the break while I looked for work. In the course of my life, I've never really had any full time work like this or any sort of real commitment.

What I'm REALLY REALLY struggling with is the grind of only having something like... 6 or so hours to yourself after work and many of those are spent getting home, prepping or eating food, etc. When I get home I feel like shit.

Then, in my supposed relax time, I feel like I don't have enough time to properly enjoy my free time/activities, etc. I worry about doing this for the rest of my life - that I won't have enough time to ME.

The job itself is okay, the people are lovely, etc... I just feel so overwhelmed. The inner demon in me is screaming LEAVE, but I know I'll regret it so so much if I do. Plus, this job is actually a wonderful opportunity and could really help me in the future.

I saw my psychologist yesterday and we worked on mindfulness techniques, etc. She explained that these thoughts are creating my reality and I need to shut them down. But it's so hard.

I just want my old life back... but I KNOW I can't just do nothing for the rest of my life (even if I really want to)

Has anyone else felt like this? What can I do to take my mind off these feelings?

[Quiettall]

Hi there

Yes, you will be surprised to hear that many people feel the same way...it becomes a bit like a rollercoaster ride. One way I was able to address it somehow, was to stay in the job, focus on improving my prospects there, as well as find out what social or sporting things the colleagues do outside of work, that I could join. I tried the gym, which didnt work but gave me a laugh for a while, seeing myself trying to exercise in front of a mirror surrounded by others with their lycra gear on, and all looking trim, taut and terrific. I tried swimming, but ended up it was too stressful. So I ended up joining a simple lunch group, where once or twice a week, we would organise either to bring particular food to share, and chat while eating, or we would go out to a cafe, or park for a lunch break. I got to know some really good people and that helped me add some positive experiences to my early work life.

It is hard to adjust to a new routine but give yourself time, take one step at a time, and try to take a positive action approach if possible.

Good luck and feel free to keep posting as there are other members here who are able to support you as well

[Starwolf]

Hi Losingit, welcome to the community.

Well done for initiating this courageous transition.

Adjusting after a big change takes time, particularly if you are struggling with anxiety. Change is often scary when our whole lifestyle is affected. Anxiety (now about the new job and what will come of it) is probably more the issue than the new schedule itself. It tends to trigger the fight/flight response...the inner demon screaming at you to leave. I'd tell that over-reactive demon to sit down for a while and let you give it a go. 55 hours per fortnight should leave you ample free time to indulge your inclinations.

You say the job is OK and your co-workers good company. This should help you settle in, one small step at a time as suggested by Quiettall.

It sounds like it will not be too difficult to find significance in your work. From your participation, self regard and self awareness can grow. Focusing on this new commitment instead of your own thoughts will actually help keep anxiety at bay. So would the addition of extra structure and self discipline.

Meanwhile, you could check Smiling Mind, an app that seems to help quite a few people who suffer from anxiety. Relaxation music, any creative activity, exercise, watching movies, becoming engrossed in a good book etc...can all act as welcome distractions.

Wishing you all the best.

[losingit04]

Hi Quiettall and Starwolf, thanks for your responses. Really appreciate it.

I agree that I have to give it a bit of time to get into the routine and adjust to the change.

I'm looking at some extracurricular activities that should help give me something to do/look forward to. Thinking of doing some yoga and looking at some anxiety support groups. I think the mindfulness might be working a little bit as well.

[Quiettall]

Hi there

I am so pleased you have posted some progress. As I said earlier, it only takes one small step at a time and eventually you develop your own sense of momentum and growth. It does not mean that there will be no setbacks. Sometimes you slip back but as the old saying goes, "2 steps forward, one step back".

Looking forward to hearing more of your progress.

[Starwolf]

Good to read you're on the right track. Your proactive attitude will be a terrific asset.

Re mindfulness, please keep in mind that it does take time and consistent work. The mind is used to its tyrannic ways...it doesn't take kindly to being reined in. Regular practice when all is well is the way to go. Trying to force the runaway mind into it when the going gets tough will only meet with rebellion ! A sport match or competition is not the right time to practice your moves. It's akin to building up a seldom used muscle.

I found giving myself cues to practice useful. Waiting in traffic, at a checkout, having a cuppa etc...then gradually increasing the number of cues to involve more areas of life.

Take care.

[Chloe90]

Hey losingit04’s,

just just wondering how you went I’m in a similar position and wanting some hope!

[Srfr]

Yes, I have felt like this too! It is a momentary feeling though. I have found if when I get home (or in the car) I try to remember that this thought is like a fleeting cloud, or something that will go, eventually. Hard to do, but it works if you keep reminding yourself that the thought or feeling that is causing trouble can be altered through distraction or not giving it ‘life’. I do hope this helps.

mindfulness is good too; sometimes in a ‘bad’ moment, if I go ‘into’ the feeling, it is not as bad as first thought and dissipates after a while..

be strong and know you are special

x