Another new job. Another feeling that I want to flee.

HarrisCloud · ‎03-05-2019

I am coming to the end of my first week of a new job. My previous job I was at for 2 years and I hated it. Hated it so much so when I got this new job I was so excited. Excited until my first day. I'm an admin assistant in a smallish office.

It's the same pattern that I've had every job I've ever started. I have so much anxiety about not feeling like I'm understanding my new tasks. In some ways it feels like my anxiety inhibits me from learning the new tasks. I'm a major perfectionist and I feel like I must start a new job and know all the tasks I'm responsible for. Even though I know that's not possible and it's irrational I cant help it. There is another new admin assistant that has been there 3 weeks and she is laughing with the other people like she's been there for years, she just gets in in the morning and does her work. I'm still being all awkward and not knowing where anything is.

even though I truly hated my old job I knew everything there was to know about the job. If the phone rang and there was a problem I knew the answer without thinking. My manager needed something and I knew where to put my hands on whatever was needed immediately. Now I just feel like an idiot. I sit at my desk and envisage picking up my bag and quietly slipping out the door, getting into my car and driving away and never coming back.

How can I break this habit of feeling so bad when I start a new job?

romantic_thi3f · ‎03-05-2019

Hi HarrisCloud,

Welcome to the forums and thanks for being here.

Can I take a moment to congratulate you? I hope that doesn't sound too weird (or condescending!) , but as someone with anxiety - it can be so hard to push through the things that make you want to flee. It sounds like with this new job you were so ready to slide out the door - but you didn't. You pushed through your anxiety, and I think that's something worth being proud of.

I think the biggest advice that I can give you is to try and be kind to yourself. It sounds like you could do this other job blindfolded, but I bet that took time too for you to learn the ropes and get comfortable. This one might too. I can see that you're already capable from your old job, so I don't see why this isn't transferable to here too.

and on a kind of final note, when you have a thought or belief that's irrational, see if you can replace it with something that's not. This may be weird at first, but it's actually a therapy technique. Even if it's saying to yourself "that's not possible and that's irrational - so here's something that is possible/rational". It can take some time, but it will make things easier.

Hope this helps,

HarrisCloud · ‎04-05-2019

Thank you for your reply. You are right, my previous job I had the same feelings and the thought I was never going to make it and after a few months I could do it blindfolded. I will continue to tell myself that I will with this new job.

Friday afternoon was good as I was able to have a chat with my coworker that has only been there a month and she told me not to worry because she had felt all the same feelings that I was feeling.

LesDave · ‎04-05-2019

you need to ask yourself how accurate your fears are. I know I suffer a lot with anxiety dreaming up situations, and when I analyse, my intuition is actually really awful. I need to STOP trusting my gut. Perhaps you are the same. Maybe this feeling is based on irrational and exaggerated fears.

RoadToRecovery1001 · ‎05-05-2019

Hi HarrisCloud. I'm facing this exact predicament and completely understand how you are feeling. I'm wanting to send an email right now to HR and just quit my job and not come in tomorrow morning. Although I dont think this will achieve anything positive in the long run and will only serve to reinforce my fears. So I guess I'll just arrive tomorrow morning and hope things run as smoothly as possible and my anxiety doesn't get the better of me at work

While I dont know you personally, I get a feeling from yours posts above that you're a lot more resilient than myself and are probably a lot more capable than you believe. For whats its worth, I think your are going to thrive in this new role and you will surprise yourself with how well you perform 🙂

Bee71 · ‎05-05-2019

I can relate so much to this post and all answers, I am actually surprised to read that I am not alone, so many of us are suffering in silence. I don’t have answers yet but I am going to work on Tuesday and will do my very best. I have booked an app with my GP on Monday as I am at breaking point and finally admitting that I have a problem with anxiety.

HarrisCloud · ‎06-05-2019

I absolutely dream up situations that may happen. Sometimes the things I have anxiety about don't actually happen or when they do happen they aren't so bad in retrospect.

HarrisCloud · ‎06-05-2019

How did you go? Did you email HR or did you push through?

RoadToRecovery1001 · ‎07-05-2019

Hi HarrisCloud,

I didn't email HR and have managed to push through. Although i'd by lying if I said that the thought of leaving doesn't cross my mind every minute that I'm at work. I'm just trying to take it one day at a time and handle things as best as I can. Still can't shake the feeling of how much better things were in my previous job though.

I chose this job because I wanted to try something that would push me out of my comfort zone and challenge me. Thinking about it logically though, I'm really not sure why I decided something that could forcibly cause me me emotional distress would be good for me. Still hoping my old will take me back if things dont work out

5topaz5 · ‎07-05-2019

I'm in a very similar boat. My counsellor said it takes a good 6 weeks to settle in.
I'm over 6 weeks and up to now I think of all the reasons to leave.
I have started to break the day into small parts. Work then lunch. Lunch break and take it out of the office. Then the second part of the day. I'm coming home tired and drained. I guess I'm just faking it till I make it.