topic Learning to Grieve What I’ve Lost While Moving Forward in Grief and loss

Learning to Grieve What I’ve Lost While Moving Forward

Guest_70308387 — Wed, 26 Aug 2026 10:47:57 GMT

Hi everyone, I’m new to the platform and thought I’d share something I’ve been wondering if other people have experienced or are still dealing with too. There are so, so many things in my life that I am incredibly grateful for, both things I’ve been able to experience and things I have now. At the same time, though, there has also been so much grief and loss across many different areas of my life. I’m now 21 and trying to come to terms with how painful some of those experiences have been, while also dealing with the comparison struggles that can come with thinking about other people my age. I find that this can affect my sense of self-worth and identity, but there is also just the grief of everything I’ve lost and the things that are now gone.

Sometimes it feels like I’m carrying several different kinds of pain at once, the pain of how difficult things were, the grief of what I lost and what I wish I could have had, and then the comparison of where I am versus where other people my age seem to be. All of those things together can feel really overwhelming. I’ve also been trying to work through some of the past hurts that were almost traumatic for me, particularly around close people not understanding what I was going through at the time and how deeply that impacted me. I’m trying to work through that huge past hurt of feeling alone and how terrible that was and how I still go through that sometimes now, while also understanding what those people have since explained to me, that they genuinely meant well and that there were things they misunderstood at the time or has a limited capacity/their own life happening. I think sometimes it feels like a wound that has been dug deeper, and even though things can be different now, it still takes time to heal from what happened and how it made me feel.

I guess at the end of the day, I know that the people who love you can care about you as much as they possibly can and show that care in their own ways, while still not fully understanding what your experience has truly been like. You are the only person who has actually lived through everything you have lived through, and sometimes there can still be a sense of pain and loneliness even when the people around you are genuinely trying their best. I want to make it clear that my family has never been abusive and that they have tried to care for me as best they can. I know they don’t mean to cause harm, and nobody is perfect, everyone has their own struggles, circumstances and life experiences too. I can understand all of that while also acknowledging that some things were still really painful for me and how that has impacted me now to this day. Hopefully that makes sense. I’m just wondering if anyone else has experienced this, or is still trying to cope with something similar. And hopefully, if anyone does relate to this, you know that you’re not alone and that your feelings are valid too. 🤍

Thanks 🙂

Re: Learning to Grieve What I’ve Lost While Moving Forward

Croix — Thu, 27 Aug 2026 12:41:03 GMT

Dear New Memeber~

I'd like to welcome you here to the Forum and hope looking around at other people's experiences will help. I have not found that greif and loss can be hurried, it takes its own time and no matter how much I wished to avoid it I could not. As an example the passing away of my wife at a very young age, unexpectedly. Going to work did help though.

Yes I lost a life with a companion, someone to live life with , care for and be cared for. I have a photo of her teasing our nieces and trying to keep a straight face. I could not look at it for years without bringing everything back. Now I can look at it and smile at the fun we were having.

To start with I was envious of those who had not lost their partners, however it did not help, just perpetuated my feelings. I would think that looking at those your own age might have the same effect. There is the fact you are only lookng at their surface surface and may not see how their lives truly are. If they look happy try to be happy for them (yes, I know, not easy).

One thing that was particularly hard was other peoples advice and comments, no matter how well meaning. To say "things get better" does not realy help, even worse is after some time time saying "just move on" or "haven't you got over that yet?"

All this does is point out the vast gulf between those people and yourself. Grief has no timetable.

Can I suggest you may find Griefline helpful, it has, togther with the organisation SANE, a whole load of assistance, from telephone counceling to being on a forum with others who are in the same circumstances (SANE if you wish to go direct is on 1800 187 263). These to organizations combined are very worthwhile.

I hope life is kind to you now

Croix

Re: Learning to Grieve What I’ve Lost While Moving Forward

Renlee — Thu, 10 Sep 2026 02:10:32 GMT

Im exhausted but needed ro reply as I was able to relate to your feelings and overlapping pf pain hut sadness and needing the time with limited support. Im scared ill never be not just the same as i understand i need to come to terms with the new me, it feels more in regard to sitting in my own mind feeling the same and fearful I cant get out as easier as I used to and tbey were hard times i thought it couldn't get harder. . In general thank you for your post for the relief im not alone

So your not alone even if today I have no answers i have the collective feelings as another

Thank you