topic Re: I miss my Mum and Dad in Grief and loss

I miss my Mum and Dad

OhmeOhmy — Wed, 26 Feb 2025 00:03:32 GMT

Both my parents have passed away and yesterday was the two year anniversary of my Dad passing. The grief still hits me so hard and raw at times. It rips through my whole body.

I miss their unconditional love, I miss being known and understood so well, I miss having someone completely in my corner, I miss their faces lighting up when I walked in to visit them, I miss their compassion, I miss their loving investment in my life and wellbeing, I miss how safe they made me feel, I miss their voice, smiles and hugs.

I'm so grateful to have had parents that gave me all these things to miss.

Re: I miss my Mum and Dad

white knight — Wed, 26 Feb 2025 00:35:25 GMT

Hi, welcome

So sorry for your losses.

Grief is a personal process, how long and how often you grieve depends on you and you alone.

Over many years I've learned many things about my grief. eg

I still grieve for my wonderful dad that passed away 32 years ago
That grief can be channeled and redirected but not ignored
That there are ways to redirect grief like planting a rose garden in their honour or writing about them. I use poetry
That one positive is that you loved them and they you so much that is why you grieve- some people didnt have that closeness.
That grief can lead you to become a more compassionate person
That while they can never be replaced as parents you can channel your love towards friends that are parent figures. I have a 81yo lady that I've known all my life and I'll visit her this mothers day with flowers for the first time.
That you can pass onto your children the same level of love your parents gave you. How wonderful is that?

So here below is one way I channeled my grief-

SLIPPERS ON A MAT

An old porch chair where my dad once sat

A smoke in his hand and slippers on a mat

I remember when he’d laugh and smile at me

And I’d return the honour almost instantly

My thoughts are such now that dad has passed away

I glance at that empty chair each and every day

Sorrow fills my heart and in a way it’s sad

That I still look at that chair and still smile at my dad

But all’s not lost and I don’t waste my time

Cause I still see his face smiling just like mine

Yes in that old porch chair where my dad once sat

Is his smoke in his hands and slippers on a mat….

TonyWK

and one for you

THEIR LEGACY OF CARE

They wrote in today named ohmeohmy

Life without their parents such grief such a sigh

And every day that rolls right on by

It's like they start all over again, the eternal cry

But this side of life is hard to fight

Better to cherish your memories and their might

Remember they left you with eternal light

It's an honour for them to leave the love of their life

So pass onto all kids their hugs and care

You'll look around and there's nobody there

But remember they are inside of you their love laid bare

They smile away as they know... their legacy you share....

TonyWK

Re: I miss my Mum and Dad

Guest_10120 — Wed, 26 Feb 2025 07:55:43 GMT

Grief can be heavy; it is particularly hard when we land on such solemn days as anniversaries. Your parents loved you deeply and beautifully, and they truly must have mattered to you so much. Hang on to those treasured memories for they are a testament to the love you shared. Take it easy on yourself. Sending warmth and strength your way.

Re: I miss my Mum and Dad

OhmeOhmy — Tue, 20 May 2025 08:23:37 GMT

Thank you Tony, I enjoyed reading your response and your poems. You write so well. I can really relate to the empty chair. I see them there too.

Re: I miss my Mum and Dad

OhmeOhmy — Tue, 20 May 2025 08:25:21 GMT

Thank you for your thoughtful words, I appreciate the support. Connecting to others on the hardest day really does help.