topic Re: Grief losing my dad and mum in Grief and loss

Grief losing my dad and mum

Bhel — Sun, 18 May 2025 08:31:26 GMT

Hi everyone!I lost my dad almost two months now !i miss him a lots !I feel up and down and sad most of the time it’s too hard living in other country with out family then you lost your both parents and far away from sisters and brothers too !

Re: Grief losing my dad and mum

Summer Rose — Mon, 19 May 2025 02:07:50 GMT

Hi Bhel

Welcome to the forum.

I am very sorry to hear about the recent loss of your Dad and the loss of your mum. I’m sure it is very challenging living here away from your extended family. Hugs to you.

If you are able, it might be helpful to schedule some phone calls or FaceTime sessions with your overseas family. Regular contact with them may help you to feel less alone.

I’m wondering if you have any friends, school/work mates or neighbours who could provide you with some support? If you let people know what you’re going through they may step up.

It takes time to work through grief and there is no timeline or right or wrong way to grieve—everyone is different. I think it is reasonable to expect that you may feel “up and down” and sad for some time to come.

I encourage you to be kind to yourself and to look after yourself. Be sure to eat regularly, maintain a good sleep routine and try to get some regular exercise. They are all little things but together they add up and can help you to feel better.

You may also choose to call Australia’s Grief Line on 1300 845 745, between 8am and 8pm any day of the week. The good people who answer the phones will really understand and provide support.

Of course, feel free to post here anytime and our community will support you.

Kind thoughts to you

Re: Grief losing my dad and mum

white knight — Mon, 19 May 2025 02:13:52 GMT

Hi Bhel, welcome

My heart reaches out for you. This forum is one full of lived experiences by members and community Champions like myself so we have often lived through such ordeals ourselves and are therefore positioned well to help with how best to cope.

My dad passed in 1992 at 64yo. Thats many years, yet I've never really recovered from his passing, such was how magnificent he was as a parent. My mother passed 3 weeks ago and we were estranged for 14 years. Even so, although she did some terrible things to me and my sister, you are never prepared for such an event even though she was 93yo.

So back to my dad. How did I cope and move on to my life? Firstly there is no shortcut from grief, it is a process you have to endure until your mind is mended enough to be able to cop0e enough to spend more time in the present and thinking of your future.

Ideas on coping-

Plant a memorial garden. You can just plant one rose or two. Or a full garden in their honour. That garden then has a special purpose and when feeling down you can care for the plants as you remember good times. Or in pots if renting
Get a pet if you havent got one. It's amazing the company you get and a pet will allow you to focus on a beautiful animal that you will love and they love you
Put aside a time when you have only thoughts on your parents. Say 30 minutes once a week or twice and that time could be to review old pictures or simply think about them. No phone, no interruptions. I used to climb a nearby hill and that spot became my grieving place.
Write- writing channels your emotions. This link is to our poetry corner where many poems are about grief. They really could help you. You'll notice many are also funny and thats a good thing to mix up your emotions. Especially the first poem I posted there. https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/bb-social-zone/the-poetry-corner-post-your-poems-in-here/td-p/54777

I hope I've helped.

A WORLD OF CARE

Our mind can have its own steering wheel but only brief

For as we tackle our loss, there is little control with grief

Your emotions no longer fit like a glove

That its a reflection of your grief with love

But out of this you will emerge with vigour laid bare

For they have left you with their influence and care

Inside you they planted themselves every cell

They had no control over the ringing of the bell

So celebrate when you feel you can

And grief isnt a one man band

The courage you have to share here and there

Is what your parents planted in you, a world of care...

TonyWK