topic Re: Separation and anxiety in Grief and loss

Separation and anxiety

Guest_04161246 — Wed, 01 Jan 2025 18:55:26 GMT

Recently my 8 year relationship was ended by my fiancée. I had just turned 30 (F) and we were planning our life together. We had bought our first home and owned a dog we had together for 7 years. One day he left and has not been back and it’s been a month today.
i recently found out that they may have been some infidelity with a co-worker and it has really put my progress backwards and I’m constantly ruminating about this situation and putting negative thoughts into my head. The anxiety won’t stop, I have tried breathing exercises, walking, holding my dog, crying, hot showers, sleep meditations, meditations. Nothing seems to be working to stop intrusive thoughts and all I want is the validation of the person who hurt me the most. I’m feeling very low self esteem and self sabotaging seems to be the only way I can make sense of anything. I want this pain to end, I want to stop feeling this reality. I miss my old life and I miss the girl I used to be a month ago. I’m really lost and don’t know what to do.

Re: Separation and anxiety

Thorney — Wed, 01 Jan 2025 23:17:06 GMT

Hi there!

While I don't have much experience in the specific things you are going through I hope I can provide some advice.

Just be kind to yourself and remind yourself that what you are feeling is normal. So many people go through this. I know, it does suck. I'm also in a point of my life where I'm stressed and I have doubts. I also think sometimes 'I wish I didn't feel like this anymore, I wish I felt the way I did before.'

Trust me, you are not alone. You WILL work through this. These things are temporary. I recommend seeing a psychologist to help you through these thoughts, feelings and emotions. Adjusting to big life changes can be so hard. I'm adjusting to a change myself 🙂 . I recommend trying to search for like-minded people who may be going through similar things. If you wanted to, you could try and find someone who can add you to/initiate a group 'talk' about similar circumstances etc.

I wish you the best and feel free to reply if you feel the need to! Just remember: don't worry about things you can't control. Everything will work out in the end, life finds a way. One step in front of the other. You have already reached out for help and that is the first step! Keep going - read books about it, see a psych and connect with others.

My advice would be to keep exercising and keep your dog as a close companion - they can help support you. Try and find a hobby / pastime that can keep you occupied and out of your head. You can do this, I promise.

Re: Separation and anxiety

BlackMaccumba — Thu, 02 Jan 2025 04:56:04 GMT

Hi Guest_04161246,

I am so sorry for what you're going through, I recently separated a month ago I have always had low self-esteem, and I too feel so lost, broken, detached and just emotional dysregulation don't self-sabotage it just makes it worse down the line, trust me I talk from experience, please don't. So, I feel for you, I really do, I can relate to your pain.

I recently was told by last partner that she is pregnant and that she now wants to have an abortion. She has spent over $40,000 on IVF and I have always wanted a child.

Feel free to reach out to me if you want to chat that does help me not as much as I would like but it does help.