I just lost a friend

Friends_4good — Wed, 25 Sep 2024 22:25:53 GMT

My friend of more 40 yrs died suddenly, I'm consumed by my grief. We went to school together, we lived together during our wild party days. We'd fallen out over something silly, but in recent yrs we were friendly again. I'm devastated, I feel like there's been a lot of death in my life the last 5 yrs.

Re: I just lost a friend

white knight — Mon, 30 Sep 2024 02:35:14 GMT

Hi, welcome

I'm sorry for your loss. In 2021 I lost my school friend, we were both 66yo at the time. He was a self made multi millionaire in the outback. We caught up many times. The same year we lost 3 family members and 2023, 2 more, one 25yo to suicide, It was tough.

Grief is so unique to the person, individuals take short or long time to overcome and in some cases, like my loving dad that passed in 1992 at only 64yo, you never really get over it. So what can you do to relieve the pain of your loss seeing as you cant eliminate it?

For me it is writing poetry, for others writing it down, planting a rose bush in their honour, visiting a place you both went to and found - special. Search your mind but where ever or what ever it is use that as a place to visit to think only of the person you lost. This dedicated time helps to allow your mind to focus on present day life with less likely any interruption from grief.

I used to ask myself- what would my father think if he saw me upset now swallowed by grief? "well son, I'm no longer there to make the most of my life, but you have many years left, enjoy them, for my sake".

As for writing it doesnt need to be long or complex, eg-

DAD’S SMILE

An old porch chair where my dad once sat

A smoke in his hand and slippers on a mat

I remember when he’d laugh and smile at me

And I’d return the honor almost instantly

My thoughts are such now that dad has passed away

I glance at that empty chair each and every day

Sorrow fills my heart and in a way it’s sad

That I still look at that chair and still smile at my dad

But all’s not lost and I don’t waste my time

Cause I still see his face smiling just like mine

Yes in that old porch chair where my dad once sat

Is his smoke in his hands and slippers on a mat….

TonyWK

To my friend

A daydream over a ponder pie

Of what perfection could be

Then I began to draw

The perfection that I see

I drew hands of kindness

Palms of gentle gold

Hands that may embrace my own

When I grow old

I had to get the eyes right

And it took a lot of time

I visualized their compassion

When they locked on mine

Finally at drawings end

I was in total reflection

As far as friends go

mirror of perfection

Then I realized oh my,

As I shaded the sky of blue

That drawing of the perfect friend

Was a sketch of you...

TonyWK

What ever you choose it will take time. Intelligent humans havent got all the answers. I hope I've helped.

Reply anytime

TonyWK

topic Re: I just lost a friend in Grief and loss

I just lost a friend

Re: I just lost a friend