topic Re: Losing another piece of him. in Grief and loss

Losing another piece of him.

ABC01 — Thu, 19 Sep 2024 01:21:27 GMT

Dear All,

My cat passed 16 weeks ago in a terrible way(I won't go into detail).

Today they pulled down one side of our fence in our backyard due to rot and old age. Plus the weather hasn't helped.

I have been in tears for awhile now.

He used to sit by that fence and peer through a tiny hole into next doors yard. I would fondly joke to him about being a little creep. It is a trigger for a good memory.

But now the fence is down and that hole is gone.

I don't know how to deal with things that have to do with him being erased from existence anymore.

Rationally I know it is a fence and that it does need to be replaced. But it hurts to loss another physical piece of him.

How do I deal/cope with losing another part of him and especially a part that triggered a good memory whenever I would see it?

Thank you for listening.

ABC01

Re: Losing another piece of him.

white knight — Thu, 19 Sep 2024 03:01:45 GMT

Hi ABC01, welcome

Sorry for your loss, our pets are family and some get that others dont. It sometimes takes people of empathy and/or closeness to understand and comfort.

Can I begin to approach this sad topic, triggers of your loved one, by saying that your greatest asset is your memory of your cat. Those memories wont erase and so you can cherish them, its ideal if and when you cherish them more than the memory of the hole in the fence and their cheeky way they spied through it. That transition from trigger to fond memory takes time and usually there is little we can do to hurry that along. Being so fresh this is why you are being triggered.

So what can assist you in this sorrowful trip to heal?

Plant a rose in your garden in their memory
Get some photos framed or like my wife did, made her own ceramic statue
Get another kitten when you think the time is right
Write a story about your cat. A poem? frame it with their photo?

SUCH A SOUL

I'd smile daily day and night

and nobody realised she watched - cheeky little mite

she'd spy into the neighbours yard through that hole

Such a marvel, such a soul...

Eventually you might remind yourself of the humour of your cats antics. Then the writing can change. This is one I wrote a long time ago-

PINKY THE PIG

Pinky the pig began to cry

Pinky didn’t have a curly tail

Like the others in the sty

They laughed aloud the other piggies

While rolling in the dirt

They didn’t think for a moment

-the level of their hurt

Then one day the other piggies

Fell into deep mud- such stink!!

All of them were stuck

Except pointy pinky pink

Then with a smile

and a wagging straight tail

pinky pointed at them with glee

pinky pulled them all to safety

finally they were free

So legend has it that pinky was heroic

And the other piggies began to cry

They all wished they had a pointy tail

And were special in the sty…

I hope that helps. Reply anytime. You were a wonderful carer for your cat.

TonyWK

Re: Losing another piece of him.

Scared — Thu, 19 Sep 2024 03:59:52 GMT

You can keep the fence plank for memory I hope its still there so please hurry if you are wanting to do that

Re: Losing another piece of him.

ABC01 — Sun, 22 Sep 2024 02:43:09 GMT

Thank you white knight,

My mind has somewhat shut down since his death and my word play is a little stunted at the moment,but I understand what you are trying to convey.

Thank you for taking the time to respond and sharing your words.

I am not sure if I have a photo of him doing it,but I have plenty others of him doing other things I loved. I could write something about.

Thank you,

ABC01

Re: Losing another piece of him.

ABC01 — Sun, 22 Sep 2024 02:45:29 GMT

Dear Scared,

I had thought of that but without the other surrounding pieces of wood,it wouldn’t have the same effect. However I did work fast,and grabbed a few photos of it from the angle I would always see. And in the nick of time too.

Thank you for your reply,

ABC01

Re: Losing another piece of him.

white knight — Sun, 22 Sep 2024 03:36:00 GMT

To frame that picture of the fence plank and a photo of you cat would make a nice picture. Maybe a few words with calligraphy "Cheeky cat" . Immortalise them.

TonyWK