topic Re: Dad's passing makes me anxious in Grief and loss

Dad's passing makes me anxious

AnxiousBird123 — Tue, 21 Feb 2023 12:31:09 GMT

Hi everyone,

Im new here. My dad passed last year in July from a heart attack. Since then I couldn't stop crying, a month after his passing I had my first panic attack. Even since I have been getting anxiety non-stop.

As soon as I think of him, I get anxiety attacks. I sometimes think "Am I going to get a heart attack next"

How do I stop thinking this way? I try to not worry about him, but as soon as I think about him I get anxious about myself. I feel like I'm trying to forget him.

Re: Dad's passing makes me anxious

white knight — Wed, 22 Feb 2023 00:04:27 GMT

Hi, welcome

Oh dear, I've been through this. Dad passed in 1992 with heart attack from a clot at 64yo. I'm now 67yo. He was an amazing man in every way.

Also, prior to that in 1985 I had a panic attack that was incorrectly diagnosed as a heart attack. It was 3 months later on a stress test treadmill that I was told it wasnt a heart attack. I havent had a panic attack since so the symptoms are quite close.

So, how do we reduce our anxiety. Be ready for a long term fix but as you progress you'll improve gradually which makes it worthwhile. It's all listed in my thread on that topic-

https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-how-l-eliminated-it/td-p/183873

Now, about your recovery over your dads passing. I'm a forever positive person so that certainly helps. Eg after dad passed I kept reminding myself that he suffers no more, that he went in a better way eg not an accident, that his memory is a gift. Other ideas are- plant a tree in his honour, a rose garden, write about him, I write poetry. It all helps. Finally try to get distracted. As soon as you start thinking about him, go to your hobby, ring a friend or do as I did and have a large jigsaw in a spare room, do 20 pieces and leave it.

But, my poetry works best. Here is a poem for you today I wrote many years ago. Thankyou for posting, your dad would have been so proud of you.

DAD’S WRINKLES

Soon it became obvious

As my ol’ man came of age

That the strain of life itself

Did complete another page

And as his ‘book’ filled up

To approach the final scene

I knew each wrinkle on his face

And which one came from me

And as I read the last line

Of the chapter not complete

It tells of his twilight years

That he knew he’d never meet

Dad was never scared to die

He faced it brave and strong

And I knew each wrinkle on his face

And where they did come from….

TonyWK

Re: Dad's passing makes me anxious

jaz28 — Wed, 22 Feb 2023 07:15:15 GMT

Hi AnxiousBird123,

I am sorry to hear of your dad's passing, that must be hard for you. Grief is a hard emotion especially after a parent passes. I think your feelings are valid and probably triggered some anxiety. I think the best course of action would be to see your doctor and organise to speak to a mental health professional, they can help you get a hold on your feelings and thoughts.

You will not forget your dad - he will forever live on in your heart!

Jaz xx

Re: Dad's passing makes me anxious

David35 — Sat, 01 Apr 2023 10:19:04 GMT

My mind looks for him, my heart can't find him, but my soul knows he's at peace. That sums up how I feel about the loss of my own dad. Shortly after he passed away, I would be doing some task that involved concentration. For a short moment I would forget that he was gone, until I stopped what I was doing. Then it would hit me and I would break down crying. It takes time. You never get over a loss, you just learn to live with it.