topic Re: Unspeakable grief in Grief and loss

Unspeakable grief

Nat_C — Sat, 31 Dec 2022 13:18:48 GMT

8 years ago I lost my best friend who was like a sister to me. She was Albanian and I met her in Albania but she passed away when I was in Australia. This alone would have been challenging but she died with pregnancy complications which has made it very difficult to discuss with friends. Every mothers day and Christmas is challenging as is new years eve. This year seems worse than normal, but I struggle to find people to talk to about it because pregnancy can be such a sensitive topic. This year I know 3 people who are expecting about the tine my friend was due but I am also hoping to return to Albania. Is there anyone who has experience in grieving in a setting that is hard to talk about and if so what have you found helpful. Sadly when I am at my worst with this there seems to be limited help available, due to b the time of year, though I do have a GP appointment booked this week.

Re: Unspeakable grief

white knight — Sun, 01 Jan 2023 05:08:44 GMT

Hi Nat, welcome

What have I found helpful with grief in general? It is limited and individuals grieve differently but? My lovely dad passed in 1992

DAD’S SMILE

An old porch chair where my dad once sat

A smoke in his hand and slippers on a mat

I remember when he’d laugh and smile at me

And I’d return the honor almost instantly

My thoughts are such now that dad has passed away

I glance at that empty chair each and every day

Sorrow fills my heart and in a way it’s sad

That I still look at that chair and still smile at my dad

But all’s not lost and I don’t waste my time

Cause I still see his face smiling just like mine

Yes in that old porch chair where my dad once sat

Is his smoke in his hands and slippers on a mat….

And so poetry and writing one key to the door of relief, to express, to get it out.

Other ideas are-

plant a tree of bush in their honour and watch your love grow
seek therapy (great you have a GP appointment)
Remind yourself that anniversaries are just when the earth is in the same place in its orbit, it has no other relevance.

STILL A TEAM

Grief is what others cannot see

so you search for love and company

8 years and the pain of a family tree

"she was like a sister to me"

But she still watches you cry

she even sings you lullabies

So help her rest by living to the full

To your sister that would be really cool

She wouldnt want you questioning what life means

she might want you to extend your dreams

But like two little girls throwing stones in a stream

Greater the love and still a team...

TonyWK

Re: Unspeakable grief

Nat_C — Sun, 01 Jan 2023 06:22:50 GMT

Thank you for your response

Re: Unspeakable grief

Fern42 — Sun, 29 Jan 2023 07:23:51 GMT

Hi Nat_C

I am sorry to hear that you have endured this great loss, it sounds like your best friend was truly like a sister to you. I can understand that the circumstances surrounding their death does make it very difficult to discuss with friends or family. Have you ever spoken to Griefline before? They are a free support service that have both lived experience and training in the area of grief. I believe that this might be helpful given they hear a range of difficult circumstances surrounding grief. Here is their number. You can book in for a chat or ring their call hotline. 1300845745

Take care,