topic My Dad just died! in Grief and loss

My Dad just died!

Doolhof — Fri, 04 Sep 2020 05:33:52 GMT

I'm here home alone and my sister called to say Dad had collapsed in the city and the ambulance people were assisting him.

I phoned some friends and asked if they could come and be with me, they were busy.

My husband is on his way home, it will take him a couple of hours.

The police called into my sister's home and told her Dad has died.

I phoned my Minister and he said "That will happen. People die." I told him I had to go.

I don't know why I am sharing this here. I don't know what else to do right now.

I don't even know if this post is suitable for the forums.

My Dad just died!

Aaronsis — Fri, 04 Sep 2020 06:37:39 GMT

Oh Dools

I am so unbelievably sorry that you have had to have this news, it is heartbreaking to lose a person we love and I am sorry you are alone too. You are very strong to find your way here when you do know that we are just a keyboard away at anytime to be with you and to sit with you, at least until your husband gets home.

I am sending you all the strength and support I have right now and to extend all my heartfelt care for you.

I am so sorry the Minister was so matter of fact to you when you needed some support, that is hard to hear. Yes, people die but a bit of warmth and comfort would have been nice too.

Hugs to you Dools xxx

Sarah xx

My Dad just died!

quirkywords — Fri, 04 Sep 2020 07:07:25 GMT

Mrs dools

I am so so sorry.

You are probably in shock now. I hope you can find someone to be with you.

Sending warm hugs and kind thoughts.

My Dad just died!

Doolhof — Fri, 04 Sep 2020 07:19:05 GMT

Hi Sarah and Quirky,

My sister and I are travelling together tomorrow to stay at Mum and Dad's home with other family. It is a 4 hour journey, at least we will be together.

Thank you for your kind words, I greatly appreciate them.

Due to the suddenness of Dad's death, a funeral will be weeks away. Not sure what will happen with Covid business! Guess we will find out.

Not sure I will be taking my lap top with me, so thanks for the messages.

Cheers from Dools

My Dad just died!

Ggrand — Fri, 04 Sep 2020 07:20:41 GMT

Dear Mrs Dools..

I am so deeply very sorry..

We are so pleased you did share it in here...You are family Mrs Dools..

My deepest condolences..My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family...

sending some warm comfy hugs precious lady..

Please talk here if you need to..we are all here for you with our love and care..

Grandy...

My Dad just died!

Guest_1055 — Fri, 04 Sep 2020 09:08:55 GMT

Oh Mrs D, I am ever so sorry. Gentle hug

My Dad just died!

blondguy — Fri, 04 Sep 2020 09:30:21 GMT

I am so sorry Dools..I have no words....only hugs..Paul

My Dad just died!

white knight — Fri, 04 Sep 2020 11:16:54 GMT

Dear Dools

Im sorry for this sad news.

please ignore the flippant comments from friends and your minister. They don’t realise the gravity of your situation,

TAKE CARE

TonyWK

My Dad just died!

Elizabeth CP — Fri, 04 Sep 2020 12:18:41 GMT

I'm not sure what to say other to say I agree with the other posters. I'm glad you will have time with your mum & sister. While it true we all die & as a Christian we believe the person who has died will be in a better place now but that doesn't stop us from missing the person & feeling grief & loss. Those are normal human feelings. Look after yourself. I hope you get a chance to share some happy memories with your family to help you cope with this difficult time. When I lost my dad I really needed time with my brother to share our memories. Unfortunately my sister was OS in hospital so not available.

My Dad just died!

geoff — Fri, 04 Sep 2020 18:23:40 GMT

I'm so sorry Dools, my heart goes out to you, and I wish you nothing but comfort and strength in this time of sorrow.

Take care.

Geoff.

My Dad just died!

Doolhof — Fri, 04 Sep 2020 21:28:44 GMT

Dear Precious friends of the BB forum,

Thank you so much for reaching out to me, I greatly appreciate your kind words, sympathy and sentiments.

My Dad was always an active member in his community. The last few years he was very much singularly involved in a community creation that helped others. He had been lugging bags of cement, wood, wheelbarrows and goodness knows what else up and down hills just before his death.

That is partly why his death has come as such a shock. He was so well and fit, at least on the outside.

While in Dad's home town, I will be able to walk around and sit in my Dad's creation. Hopefully others will take up his efforts and preserve what he has created. If not, that is okay as well.

Yes Elizabeth, I do believe in life after death. In my mind last night I saw my Dad hugging my children for me and being reunited with his own son, my brother who died so young.

We all have many happy memories to share about Dad.

Once again I thank you all for reaching out to me, it means so very much.

I want to encourage you all to reach out to those around you. We never know how long we have together.

Cheers form Dools

My Dad just died!

Elizabeth CP — Sat, 05 Sep 2020 00:59:57 GMT

reading your comment 'In my mind last night I saw my Dad hugging my children for me and being reunited with his own son, my brother who died so young.
We all have many happy memories to share about Dad.'

brought tears to my eyes. I'm glad you had that lovely thought to hold on to. I remember my brother arranged for a friend to help him pick flowers & greenery from dad's favourite plants in his garden to decorate the coffin. I remember imagining him looking down with his parents & brother & sister pointing out the beautiful plants he'd grown & sharing that part of his life with his loved ones. We never saw his family after we left UK when I was little. Enjoy any piece of comfort you can get at this time. Memories are precious!!!!

My Dad just died!

smallwolf — Sat, 05 Sep 2020 02:08:58 GMT

Hey Dools 😞

I am so sorry to hear about your loss. Not sure if/when you will get to see and read this post, but know that I am thinking of you.

Peace to you,

My Dad just died!

Just Sara — Sat, 05 Sep 2020 03:11:45 GMT

My kindest and warmest thoughts go out to you in this time of grief Mrs D; 💌✝

By what you've said, your Dad seemed a strong and productive man filled with community spirit until his untimely death. That's a credit to him and a wonderful legacy for his family and community.

I hope time with your sister can help heal each other's pain. As has been said, sharing memories has its place in the grieving process, so give your inner child a hug as well.

My sincere commiserations;

Sez xo

My Dad just died!

quirkywords — Sat, 05 Sep 2020 09:16:09 GMT

Dools

I found that your image of your dad hugging your children to be so moving.

I hope being close to where your dad lived will help you.

My Dad just died!

Doolhof — Sun, 06 Sep 2020 08:00:28 GMT

Thank you All,

Your words an sentiments mean a lot to me.

It has been a very different Father's Day.

As a family we went to one of Dad's favourite places and spent some time there.

My sister and I went for an early morning walk to the area Dad was working on for the community. In my mind, Dad was there talking about the area and pointing out special bits and pieces.

Not sure what else to write. This is a strange time. It feels like I have been here for a week already.

Cheers all from Dools

My Dad just died!

quirkywords — Mon, 07 Sep 2020 10:13:55 GMT

Dools

when a loved one dies suddenly it means one is in shock. There was not one prepare unlike when a loved one is sick. It must be hard for you but I am glad you have your family offering you support and love. It must be comforting to b e in a place where your dad lived.

My Dad just died!

Doolhof — Mon, 07 Sep 2020 10:50:05 GMT

Hi Quirky and All,

This is the place where I was born and where I grew up. People have offered to help to put on an afternoon tea this week.

People are stopping to say hello and offer condolences if they see any of us up the street or out the front of the house.

We are all so thankful we are not in a state of Australia with strict Covid restrictions. My heart goes out to everyone who is in that situation. We are truly blessed to be together and able to share Dad's memory with others.

I still expect Dad to walk in the door telling us this has just been a joke!

Cheers all from Dools

My Dad just died!

Guest_1055 — Tue, 08 Sep 2020 03:14:20 GMT

Gentle hug Mrs D

Shelley

My Dad just died!

SapereAude — Mon, 14 Sep 2020 22:39:12 GMT

I’m so sorry Dools. Wishing you and your family all the best. Don’t be afraid to seek professional support. Everyone deals with their grief in their own special way. I hope you can keep us updated if you feel up to talking. It won’t be easy and will take time but you have our support.