https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/grief-and-loss/my-beautiful-wilby/m-p/474284#M3654 Thanks for taking the time to reply. Yes I am chock full of guilt for not reading all the signs that looking back could have saved our sweet bub. My daughter her hubby had a room in PICU ward , next to bub. The Thursday night Wilby lost his fight . Most of our extended family had gone home , just me my hubby and my daughters 3 year old stayed till morning, I had my 3 year old grandsons in bed with me and he stopped breathing , so I whacked him on his chest. He started crying , what the heck ? I cried for hours, what kind of grandma does that. My oldest daughter said it was a dream, huh no it wasn’t, I hadn’t slept or eaten for 4 days. Now I am too scared to let him sleep over. What if he dies on my watch ? He still thinks we left his baby brother at the hospital to get a new brain. It’s killing me. Harpbird Sun, 19 Jul 2020 11:10:25 GMT Harpbird 2020-07-19T11:10:25Z https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/grief-and-loss/my-beautiful-wilby/m-p/474281#M3651 Hi every one, my first post I will try to keep it short. I miss my grandson so much . It’s killing me inside.i was at his very short birth. My daughter rang me 3am when William was 24 days old. She was so tired, had a sick 3yo and hubby with the flue. William who we called Wilby had a cough. So I got over there , sent her to bed for some sleep and looked after Wilby, in the 4 hours I cuddled that sweet bub he wouldn’t drink his bottle. Well his little family woke and I told my daughter to give him some breast milk as he wouldn’t drink any bottle, then I said he was lethargic let’s take him to hospital he is dehydrated. As I put Wilby in the car he gave a little grin. 25 minutes later we get to hospital, my daughter gets his bag and it’s my job to put my grandsons in and out of the cars. As I got him out I thought he was asleep, as I wrapped him in his blankie he made a terrible sound, as I looked at him, he was gone , I screamed to my daughter as I have her Wilby and yelled to her&nbsp; run. After what seen like hours they got a pulse. Well really 3 hospitals and 4 days later he took his last breath. That dear sweet Wilby was dying in my arms and I didn’t know. What kind of granma am I? I am not coping and still see his mum’s pain in her eyes and the heart break as she held him for hours . Then to drive 2 hours home without him in his car seat. I breath him, think about him Every moment of the day and really want to be with him . I just can’t get over the thought if I’d only woke her and said let’s go now , Wilby would still be here. Sad granma Thu, 16 Jul 2020 04:37:45 GMT https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/grief-and-loss/my-beautiful-wilby/m-p/474281#M3651 Harpbird 2020-07-16T04:37:45Z https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/grief-and-loss/my-beautiful-wilby/m-p/474282#M3652 <P>Hi, welcome,</P> <P>You know there is little anyone can do to ease the enormous pain of guilt and grief.</P> <P>Yet what your actions and inactions were was perfectly normal and it’s what anyone else would have done....fact.</P> <P>Your intentions was to be loving granma and you were. You were also a supportive mum. </P> <P>So what is important now? If it isn’t obvious to you- it’s to continue doing what you do best- set aside this tragic event and fight on, being that loving mum and grandparent.</P> <P>I do have a post that I wrote about guilt in general that might help you a little. In the search bar at the top of the page put this in-</P> <P>guilt the tormentor </P> <P>I hope you stay on the forum and find it beneficial.</P> <P>kind regards</P> <P>TonyWK</P> Thu, 16 Jul 2020 13:09:49 GMT https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/grief-and-loss/my-beautiful-wilby/m-p/474282#M3652 white knight 2020-07-16T13:09:49Z https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/grief-and-loss/my-beautiful-wilby/m-p/474283#M3653 <P>Hello Harpbird, it's not easy for us to relay our deepest sympathy and sincere condolences on the loss of your precious grandson and dearly saddens us to know what you and your family have to try and cope with.</P> <P>Can we wish you the strength and please suggest that a visit to your doctor would be advisable.</P> <P>Being a grandparent, as I am, seems to be the key to try and stabilise a most unfortunate situation you are now placed in, but you also need the assistance by your GP and hope you can still converse with us.</P> <P>We understand the gravity of the position you are facing from day to day and would dearly want to help.</P> <P>My thoughts.</P> <P>Geoff.</P> Thu, 16 Jul 2020 19:11:43 GMT https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/grief-and-loss/my-beautiful-wilby/m-p/474283#M3653 geoff 2020-07-16T19:11:43Z https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/grief-and-loss/my-beautiful-wilby/m-p/474284#M3654 Thanks for taking the time to reply. Yes I am chock full of guilt for not reading all the signs that looking back could have saved our sweet bub. My daughter her hubby had a room in PICU ward , next to bub. The Thursday night Wilby lost his fight . Most of our extended family had gone home , just me my hubby and my daughters 3 year old stayed till morning, I had my 3 year old grandsons in bed with me and he stopped breathing , so I whacked him on his chest. He started crying , what the heck ? I cried for hours, what kind of grandma does that. My oldest daughter said it was a dream, huh no it wasn’t, I hadn’t slept or eaten for 4 days. Now I am too scared to let him sleep over. What if he dies on my watch ? He still thinks we left his baby brother at the hospital to get a new brain. It’s killing me. Harpbird Sun, 19 Jul 2020 11:10:25 GMT https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/grief-and-loss/my-beautiful-wilby/m-p/474284#M3654 Harpbird 2020-07-19T11:10:25Z https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/grief-and-loss/my-beautiful-wilby/m-p/474285#M3655 Hi Geoff, thanks for the reply. I have been to my gp, had no choice. My daughter had organised heart tests on her son to check he was ok. She told me if I didn’t get help she won’t tell me the results. So I went and got a referral for a psychologist. I did go twice, found it was the most uncomfortable thing to do, she just opposite me staring and writing stuff down. My heart was hurting so much reliving this. So never went back. I just feel I have let my daughter down in the worse possible way. Harpbird Sun, 19 Jul 2020 11:17:41 GMT https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/grief-and-loss/my-beautiful-wilby/m-p/474285#M3655 Harpbird 2020-07-19T11:17:41Z https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/grief-and-loss/my-beautiful-wilby/m-p/474286#M3656 <P>Hi </P> <P>Psychologists have their methods. I’d assume writing things down and not commenting is a sure sign if not being judgemental or being reserved until a proper diagnosis is decided.</P> <P>From this and your fears it is clear to me that as good as a forum can be- your need for professional help is obvious. </P> <P>Regardless,we are here to support you but we cannot provide treatment.</P> <P>Dear Harpbird, please pursue the help you need. </P> <P>TonyWK</P> Sun, 19 Jul 2020 11:36:04 GMT https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/grief-and-loss/my-beautiful-wilby/m-p/474286#M3656 white knight 2020-07-19T11:36:04Z https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/grief-and-loss/my-beautiful-wilby/m-p/474287#M3657 <P>Hi Harpbird,</P> <P>We're so grateful that you have reached out to our community tonight, we know that it is not an easy thing to do and you have shown a lot of strength in sharing your story. We are so sorry for your loss, we can't imagine how devastated you must feel. Please know that you've come to a safe space and our wonderful community is here to offer as much support and advice as you need. It sounds like you're in a really tough space right now and we think it might help to talk it out. We understand that you have mentioned feeling uncomfortable during your last experience reaching out for support, but we'd really encourage you not to be put off by one or even a couple of negative experiences. Like anything in life, mental health professionals with different skill sets, and even different personalities, can meet your needs and expectations in different ways. </P> <P>We'd recommend getting in touch with <A href="https://griefline.org.au/">Griefline </A>on 1300 845 745. GriefLine provides counselling support services free of charge to individuals who are experiencing loss and grief. One of the friendly counsellors can offer you some support but also provide you with advice and referrals for ongoing support. If you feel up to it, we'd also welcome you to talk through these feelings with our Support Service which is available to you 24/7 on 1300 22 4636 or you can get in touch with us on Webchat 3pm-12am AEST here: <A href="http://www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport">www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport</A>&nbsp;<BR /> <BR /> We hope that you keep checking in to let us know how you're going, whenever you feel up to it.&nbsp;<BR /> <BR /> <BR /> &nbsp;</P> Sun, 19 Jul 2020 11:54:53 GMT https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/grief-and-loss/my-beautiful-wilby/m-p/474287#M3657 Sophie_M 2020-07-19T11:54:53Z https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/grief-and-loss/my-beautiful-wilby/m-p/474288#M3658 Back again. Still struggling . Worse than ever now. I have tried to get onto another psychologist about a month ago but they never got back to me. My sweet daughter who lost her bub has 8 weeks to go till she has her third child. I am in total panic as she tells me I am to be bubs main carer when she goes back to work, I can’t bare the though of looking after this new bub. I am excited for her and her older child who will be 5 this month. Sorry shouldn’t have chimed in , I had a couple of drink and dieing on the inside . Wed, 05 Aug 2020 05:06:32 GMT https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/grief-and-loss/my-beautiful-wilby/m-p/474288#M3658 Harpbird 2020-08-05T05:06:32Z https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/grief-and-loss/my-beautiful-wilby/m-p/474289#M3659 I just can’t bare the thought of thinking , Bubs would still be here if it wasn’t for me . His brother wouldn’t have had such a hard time if I had of read the signs earlier. Why didn’t I speak up, ? Thu, 06 Aug 2020 05:31:31 GMT https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/grief-and-loss/my-beautiful-wilby/m-p/474289#M3659 Harpbird 2020-08-06T05:31:31Z https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/grief-and-loss/my-beautiful-wilby/m-p/474290#M3660 <P>Hello Harpbird</P> <P>I am so beyond sorry at the loss of Wilby, what an absolutely horrific time this must have been for you and for your family. I really cannot even begin to even put thoughts together let alone words as to how this must have been for you. I need you to know though that you did nothing wrong here. I cannot see one part of that scenario in which you were to blame. That could have been anyone in your family who put him in and out of the car, that could have been any one in your family that fed him his bottle. You noticed he was a little lethargic and you took him to his mother. </P> <P>I know that no matter what anyone says or anyone does you feel the guilt of Wilby's passing and I can totally understand that. I hope though that there is some tiny part of you that does know you are not to blame here, you were not at fault.</P> <P>I am so glad that your daughter is supporting you and encouraging you to get some help, it is not easy to do but you did it. Just as in life we don't always connect with everyone so too we don't always connect with the people who are to give us medical help. Can I ask you though to keep trying, to keep going until you find someone to help you through this. They are out there.</P> <P>I just do not want you to be robbed of the most precious thing which is being a grand parent, you deserve to love and to spend time with your grandchildren without the fear and the pain and the worry that you carry with you today. You have a right to take care of them and know that you can, that you are capable and that what happened that day with Wilby is no indication of your ability to love and take care of them.</P> <P>I lost my brother last year and I know the train of thought of "what if's". It has taken me some time and still to this day I have to sit with it as there is nothing, absolutely nothing I could have done differently to change the outcome of that day. I am wondering if you will allow yourself to have this peace too? You did all you could, you did what you thought best, how could anyone ask for more?</P> <P>Grief is a journey and there are so many different elements and no rule book. Please allow yourself to grieve Wilby at the same time as you forgive yourself. There is no time frame and no one can tell you how to do it, but it is important you go through the journey.</P> <P>Reach out to us, we are here for you.</P> <P>Keep searching for a counselor that you connect with, it makes such a difference, it really does.</P> <P>Hugs to you Harpbird, my heart is heavy for you</P> <P>Sarah</P> Thu, 06 Aug 2020 06:06:45 GMT https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/grief-and-loss/my-beautiful-wilby/m-p/474290#M3660 Aaronsis 2020-08-06T06:06:45Z https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/grief-and-loss/my-beautiful-wilby/m-p/474291#M3661 <P>Hello Harpbird,</P> <P>I’m so very deeply sorry about what happened to your beautiful Wilby...It must be so devastating for you and your sweet daughter and her family...No words I can say are strong enough to express anything to ease your pain..I would like to say...That what happened isn’t your fault..You loved and still do love beautiful. Wilby and you never ever would do anything except giving him your love and the very best you could in caring for him..l</P> <P>Please dear lady..you can’t blame yourself for what happened...it wasn’t your fault..blaming yourself is sad and will take away any pleasure that you can have with your little grandson and new grand baby which will be born soon...Little beautiful Wilby will always be held deeply within your heart..forever..Please try hard to remember the sweet baby he was with good happy memories....and the joy you had while baby sitting him...</P> <P>Your daughter wanting you to baby sit your new grand baby is so beautiful...and she is letting you know by doing so that she trust you, loves you and wants you to be a huge part of her little family and your grandchildren’s lives..</P> <P>Please Harpbird..Your daughter needs you to be the main carer for new baby...Please don’t be afraid to do this..Give your grandson and new granbaby your love and care..without fear of something going wrong...Enjoy them lovely lady..Your grandson needs you, loves you and your time together with happiness...New baby will as well...</P> <P>I’m sorry if I have said wrong to you..it’s a very delicate topic to talk about..I can hear in your words that you are a beautiful and very caring grandmother...</P> <P>Here for you Harpbird any time you feel up to talking..</P> <P>Sending you my kindest thoughts with care..</P> <P>Grandy..</P> <P> </P> <P> </P> <P> </P> Thu, 06 Aug 2020 06:19:01 GMT https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/grief-and-loss/my-beautiful-wilby/m-p/474291#M3661 Ggrand 2020-08-06T06:19:01Z https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/grief-and-loss/my-beautiful-wilby/m-p/474292#M3662 <P>Dear Harpbird</P> <P>My heart breaks for you. Such a load of grief, pain and guilt. The guilt is wrong. It cannot be your fault because you did your best. You could point to the actions of others and say it was their fault but none of it is true. My daughter lost her baby some years ago and still grieves for him. She is living her life and doing the best she can for her daughter. It is the grandchildren you have with you that need you.</P> <P>If your daughter thought it was your fault she would not be entrusting her precious new baby to you when she returns to work. There was nothing you could do to prevent the baby passing. He may well have gone even if you went to the hospital earlier. It is your grief that is causing you so much pain. It is also the reason why you feel guilty. I don't have the words to help you past this point but I wish I did.</P> <P>Sophie has given you some helplines to try. Please keep trying. All psychologists are not the same as I know only too well.Some do just sit and listen. They believe in not prompting you in case you get off track. Others will hold a conversation. When you go to a new person ask them you what they expect from you. Once you can engage with them it will be so much more comfortable. I expect there will be tears but this is good. Mourning takes time and tears. You will find your grief become less sharp and overwhelming in time even though you will always miss Wilby.</P> <P>Please continue to post here if it helps. We are always here.</P> <P>Mary</P> Thu, 06 Aug 2020 06:28:12 GMT https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/grief-and-loss/my-beautiful-wilby/m-p/474292#M3662 White_Rose 2020-08-06T06:28:12Z https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/grief-and-loss/my-beautiful-wilby/m-p/474293#M3663 <P>Thanks for all your words. I have been to my GP to sort out some help and seeing a psychologist in two weeks. I still can’t have my grandson over night. So that he can’t stay over I have moved all other beds from the house. My daughter has been leaving her new bub Who is now 4 months with me to run errands but I am too <SPAN style="font-size: inherit; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;">scared to put her down to sleep and constantly watching her breathing . I do love her so much but the whole time I have her I am constantly thinking about our Wilby who will be two next week. I know living in constant pain doesn’t help as I struggle to hold her. Her mum goes back to work at the end of next month and I am totally panicking. <BR /> </SPAN></P> Sat, 20 Feb 2021 11:11:19 GMT https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/grief-and-loss/my-beautiful-wilby/m-p/474293#M3663 Harpbird 2021-02-20T11:11:19Z https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/grief-and-loss/my-beautiful-wilby/m-p/474294#M3664 <P>Hello Dear Harpbird...</P> <P>I think it’s beautiful that you have the honour of looking after your new grand daughter...It’s so sad what happened to your beautiful Wilby...and my heart still aches for you since I first read your post....I could never imagine the pain you felt and are still feeling....It wasn’t your fault what happened...and your beautiful daughter believes that as well....</P> <P>Little Wilby..will always be loved by you deep in your heart..tucked away with beautiful memories of the love and time you had with each other...</P> <P>Please..beautiful Harpbird..enjoy your precious grand daughter...love her, play with her....It’s okay if your too scared to put her down to sleep and listen to her breathing...That’s your love shining through your lovely soul that you have for her...I hope that in time you can relax a little around her....</P> <P>May I ask you dear Harpbird...if you reached out to grief counselling at all....if not is it something that you might consider at all....I hope that you seeing a psychologist will help you manage your pain....</P> <P>Please keep talking here when you feel like it....</P> <P>Sending you my care, and a gentle warm hug..dear Harpbird....</P> <P>Grandy..</P> <P> </P> <P> </P> Sun, 21 Feb 2021 05:12:57 GMT https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/grief-and-loss/my-beautiful-wilby/m-p/474294#M3664 Ggrand 2021-02-21T05:12:57Z https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/grief-and-loss/my-beautiful-wilby/m-p/474295#M3665 <P>Thank you so much Ggrand for your beautiful reply. You are a beautiful person. <BR /> Two weeks before my our Wilby was born I lost a dear friend. 6 hours before Wilby was born my almost 18 year old mini poodle passed away in my arms, I was guttered. <SPAN style="font-size: inherit; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;"></SPAN><SPAN style="font-size: inherit; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;">But Wilby came and mended my heart <span class="lia-unicode-emoji" title=":sparkling_heart:">💖</span>. Those 4 weeks could never have been more precious. I have every photo taken of him in and album on my bedside table and a friend had my favourite photo of him printed on fabric and made into a pillow. So I can still cuddle him. It sits next to his album so his little face is the first thing I see each morning , I tell him I love him all the time, he is always there for me. </SPAN><SPAN style="font-size: inherit; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;">yes GGrand I will keep that psychologist appointment I am at a crossroads now and really do want to be able to have my grandkids overnight . My sweet granddaughter was at the hospital at 3am this morning and has bronchitis. She is home now and I need to move pass this guilt so I can help my daughter. Thank you lovely. Harpbird </SPAN></P> Sun, 21 Feb 2021 11:30:39 GMT https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/grief-and-loss/my-beautiful-wilby/m-p/474295#M3665 Harpbird 2021-02-21T11:30:39Z https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/grief-and-loss/my-beautiful-wilby/m-p/474296#M3666 <P>Dearest Harpbird...</P> <P>What a beautiful idea the pillow with Wilby’s photo on it....That is so precious...</P> <P>I am deeply saddened by the loss of your beautiful fur baby..That is so sad...I have 2 little fur babies...a mother and her daughter....They are my life and love them dearly....</P> <P>I am wondering if you are going to get another fur baby...I know how hard that could be for you...Not to replace your little poodle..moreso to keep you company and a companion for you and your grandchildren to love and grow together....</P> <P>I am really pleased your keeping your appointment with your psychologist...I really hope that they can help you and you feel able to have your grandchildren stay the night...Something I cannot do as they live a long away from me....</P> <P>I hope your precious grand daughter is improving and giving you lots of loving hugs and smiles....You are also a very beautiful person person Harpbird....and you deserve to be free of pain so you can enjoy the company of your grandchildren with a peaceful heart and soul....and help your beautiful daughter the best you can...</P> <P>Please lovely lady...keep us updated on how you’re feeling..my heart has a very soft spot for you....no pressure to reply or keep us updated...I care about you and want to be here for you the best I can...</P> <P>My kindest wishes and thoughts....and a gentle caring hug..<span class="lia-unicode-emoji" title=":hugging_face:">🤗</span>..</P> <P>Grandy..</P> <P> </P> Mon, 22 Feb 2021 01:29:59 GMT https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/grief-and-loss/my-beautiful-wilby/m-p/474296#M3666 Ggrand 2021-02-22T01:29:59Z https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/grief-and-loss/my-beautiful-wilby/m-p/474297#M3667 <P>[</P> <P>hello Ggrand, <BR /> yes my little Wilby pillow was a beautiful gift from my friend, I cherish it dearly.</P> <P>My sweet little fur baby was with me always. Got him a a tiny puppy and he could do a lot of tricks, though did suffer a little separation anxiety in the last few years. <BR /> <BR /> You mention another fur baby. I grew up with poodles all my life. I wasn’t going to get another pup but My daughter who lost her bub did get me another puppy for my birthday three months later. She said I needed a “ cuddle buddy” it’s a foxy x Maltese. Oh my word she is so high maintenance lol , if I leave the house she cries all the time and just chews her feet red raw. Basically attached to me where ever I am at home. But does listen when I feed her and say no , she won’t touch her treat till I say OK . We do have my sons staffy here, now that is a good dog, she won’t go past the door to come inside, knows she isn’t aloud and if the gates open she lays there till we come back in. I have three acres so the dogs have plenty of room to run. </P> <P>I seen my osteopath today, he is so easy to talk to and is very happy I have made a psychologist appointment. He has given me his mobile number if I ever need him to ring. He is treating my daughters too so knows us very well, </P> <P>my granddaughter is a little better today, we had bubs back with the gp yesterday and she has an ear infection, so I think the antibiotics have started to work.</P> <P>I know I won’t ever be pain free I just have to get onto of these flare ups and find out what is causing my feet to hurt so much, I am pretty sure it’s nerve damage and it’s just getting these medical professionals to organise there dang paper work. </P> <P>my daughter and family are coming over tomorrow As her son wants to send some balloons up in the sky so Wilby will be able to play with them for his 2nd birthday. </P> <P>Thank you sweet Ggrand <span class="lia-unicode-emoji" title=":face_blowing_a_kiss:">😘</span></P> <P> </P> Wed, 24 Feb 2021 12:57:17 GMT https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/grief-and-loss/my-beautiful-wilby/m-p/474297#M3667 Harpbird 2021-02-24T12:57:17Z https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/grief-and-loss/my-beautiful-wilby/m-p/474298#M3668 I had me sweet grandson today after school. We went and brought balloons to let go in the sky for his little brother to play with in heaven. He chose a rather large silver number 2 . A pink balloon and a blue balloon. I asked him if he wanted a cake for Wilbys birthday? He said no, Wilbys got cake up there. But then he chose a rainbow cake as Wilby likes rainbows. we got to the checkout out and the young boy ask my grandson if the cake was for him? He said no it’s for Wilby, I then had to explain its for his baby brother in heaven.<BR /> My grandson held his baby sister on their lawn as he said happy birthday and let the balloons go. Happy birthday my dear sweet Wilby, I will love you until my little angel <span class="lia-unicode-emoji" title=":baby_angel:">👼</span>. Thu, 25 Feb 2021 11:26:49 GMT https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/grief-and-loss/my-beautiful-wilby/m-p/474298#M3668 Harpbird 2021-02-25T11:26:49Z https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/grief-and-loss/my-beautiful-wilby/m-p/474299#M3669 <P>Dear Harpbird,,,,</P> <P>I had tears in my eyes as I read your post...I think the balloons we beautiful..</P> <P>If it’s okay..,I would love to wish your precious little angel a Happy Birthday...</P> <P>Dear lovely Harpbird......This is something that I love and hope you do as well......Their is no footprint too small...That it cannot leave an imprint in this world...<span class="lia-unicode-emoji" title=":butterfly:">🦋</span><span class="lia-unicode-emoji" title=":dove:">🕊</span><span class="lia-unicode-emoji" title=":baby_angel:">👼</span>..and in our hearts..</P> <P>Kind and warm thoughts lovely lady....</P> <P>Grandy..</P> Thu, 25 Feb 2021 12:34:12 GMT https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/grief-and-loss/my-beautiful-wilby/m-p/474299#M3669 Ggrand 2021-02-25T12:34:12Z https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/grief-and-loss/my-beautiful-wilby/m-p/474300#M3670 <P>Thank you grandy.</P> <P> It sure was a very special moment seeing the kids let the balloons go up to heaven, though little miss is too young to know what’s happening, we tell her about her big brother in heaven .</P> <P>well I had lil miss for two days and even over night, I didn’t sleep a wink as I kept checking on her making sure she was breathing. I was exhausted but I did it. She slept through till 5 am and woke with a huge poo explosion <span class="lia-unicode-emoji" title=":nauseated_face:">🤢</span> it was everywhere, almost come out her neck hole. But had the most beautiful smiles to great me good morning. </P> Thu, 04 Mar 2021 20:01:18 GMT https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/grief-and-loss/my-beautiful-wilby/m-p/474300#M3670 Harpbird 2021-03-04T20:01:18Z