topic I miss you in Grief and loss

I miss you

Jackson1994 — Sun, 15 Jul 2018 12:42:23 GMT

I keep being bought back to that day and it won’t leave my head I sat next to him, I put his hair behind his ears and touched his head and i told him it will be ok i wanted to believe it so badly i didn’t leave his side until I knew he wasn’t alone it’s so vivid still i can see the pictures i put on the wall pictures of me and Mum and him and pictures of us with nanna, and pictures of us when we went on our first holiday with our step dad I wanted to hug him so much and and i couldn’t i told him how sorry i was that this happened him my step sister bought him a melbourne demons beanie kid and we put in his hand now i sleep with it every night

I miss you

Quercus — Sun, 15 Jul 2018 13:11:07 GMT

Hi Jackson,

I'm not feeling good so I'm sorry if my words are muddled. But I read your post and felt the grief and wanted to sit here with you for a while if that's ok.

Would it help you to talk about your brother today? So often the sad moments take over when we're hit with grief and the ache of missing them.

For me talking about memories I love helps me. Little things like memories that make me laugh or things that made them unique and special and so very loved.

If that would help you I'd love to listen about what your brother was like. Forgive me please I don't know his name otherwise I would use it. No pressure though. I'm just sitting here keeping you company.

Nat

I miss you

Jackson1994 — Sun, 15 Jul 2018 13:22:43 GMT

Tyler

I miss you

Jackson1994 — Sun, 15 Jul 2018 13:28:59 GMT

He was so beautiful funny clever

I miss you

Quercus — Sun, 15 Jul 2018 13:31:57 GMT

Thank you.

I checked your thread. You went to visit Tyler today with flowers. So you're not ok.

Is Hannah free to come sit with you in person? I ask because your recent posts sound very low. Are you safe Jackson?

I miss you

Jackson1994 — Sun, 15 Jul 2018 13:33:39 GMT

I’m safe, Hannah is here but asleep

I miss you

Quercus — Sun, 15 Jul 2018 13:40:17 GMT

Ok. Will you wake her up?

Thing is we have to give people who love us a chance to help.

If it was Hannah sitting alone grieving and hurting you'd want her to ask you for help. So please wake her up yeah? Show her this thread even.

What do you think?

I miss you

Jackson1994 — Sun, 15 Jul 2018 13:46:37 GMT

I don’t want to bother here I should be asleep myself early start tomorrow but probably won’t get much of it tonight

I miss you

Jackson1994 — Sun, 15 Jul 2018 13:52:51 GMT

I think I will wake her up

I miss you

Quercus — Sun, 15 Jul 2018 13:53:37 GMT

That sounds like an excuse I would make.

Then I'd sit alone for hours aching inside.

You're not ok Jackson. And it's really important to try ask for help offline too.

We can talk or you can call any helpline but the reality is Hannah is the one who will drag you to the doctor and demand help even if you keep saying you're ok. My hubby did that too I love him even more for it.

Trust her? You're not a bother ok. You're her partner and you need help and support now.

Any chance of you waking her up?

I miss you

Quercus — Sun, 15 Jul 2018 13:55:31 GMT

Thank you Jackson 😊

I miss you

Jackson1994 — Sun, 15 Jul 2018 14:02:06 GMT

I need some rest so does she so I’m not going to wake her I think I’m going to get into bed next to her and give her a cuddle, it feels safe there and maybe I will get some sleep

we can talk tomorrow

I miss you

Quercus — Sun, 15 Jul 2018 14:07:06 GMT

Hmmm somehow I'm still worried you'll sit up alone and upset.

I do think sleep is a good idea but if you lie there for 20 mins or an hour then what?

What is your plan if your mind won't stop and let you rest?

I miss you

Jackson1994 — Sun, 15 Jul 2018 14:09:22 GMT

I will wake her up if that happens I think

I miss you

Quercus — Sun, 15 Jul 2018 14:13:11 GMT

Truly?

I know. I'm blunt and rude.

If you're reluctant to wake her now somehow I think you'll look at the clock and struggle on alone.

You do that a lot I've noticed. It makes me worried for you.

I miss you

Jackson1994 — Sun, 15 Jul 2018 14:16:56 GMT

You aren’t blunt or rude, you care

Im going to wake her up, once i’ve made myself a hot drink, or both of us

I miss you

Quercus — Sun, 15 Jul 2018 14:22:17 GMT

Good plan! I fully approve.

Not coffee though! Hot chocolate lots of hot milk. Comfort plus.

Yes I do care. I'm a Mum and very good at nagging and you keep struggling alone when you don't need to.

She loves you Jackson. Sleep doesn't matter when someone you love needs help.

Righto. Hot chocolate and waking up Hannah time.

Feel free to blame me if she is grumpy then show the thread and she'll understand.

I miss you

startingnew — Sun, 15 Jul 2018 15:08:00 GMT

Hi Jackson

Im really sorry for your loss, grief is such a hard thing to go through.

Im not familiar with your story or if you have any offline supports.. perhaps tomorrow it would be good to get in touch with one of those to help you through?

I dont think Hannah would mind being woken if your in need, please think about waking her for abit of support tonight. Having a hot chocolate seems like a good bonus.

Something i do for my nan who passed away 2 yrs ago is to light a candle in memory of her. I find a candle thats her favourite colour as well to make it abit more special. Some people write a letter to their loved one who has passed saying how much they miss them, what you would like to say to them and share good memories. Almost as if you were talking to them. Maybe these are things you might like to do to...

Remember to look after yourself aswell ,find some things that help you to self soothe weather it be a good book,a movie or a walk somewhere. Just things that give you moments of calm amongst the chaos.

I miss you

Jackson1994 — Sun, 15 Jul 2018 22:06:24 GMT

Thanks StartingNew

My offline supports are Hannah, Mum, and the footy club welfare staff but they don’t teally know how bad it is right now

I miss you

Quercus — Mon, 16 Jul 2018 00:43:22 GMT

Hi Jackson,

Just checking on you. How are you holding up?

I hope you didn't continue sitting up alone.

You mentioned your supports. How are they meant to support you if they have no idea what's going on?

What holds you back from asking for help?

still worried about you.