topic Lost without my man in Grief and loss

Lost without my man

prinka — Wed, 11 Nov 2015 12:06:39 GMT

My partner and I got engaged last year and in that moment life felt perfect. After a terrible argument early this year , we split up. I was very angry and though my heart craved for him, I refused to speak to him. He tried really hard - emailing regularly to me - to win me back. Then one fine day cops came around to tell me that he was found dead at his home. We don't know if it was drugs or a heart attack. He was found after 12 days

Its been six months and I am still grappling with it. Breaks my heart every time I think my babe was dead for 12 days.

the year held so much promise for us and the last 7 months have been in a nightmare.

I miss him so much that it overwhelms me.

Lost without my man

Guest_1055 — Wed, 11 Nov 2015 12:49:46 GMT

I am so so sorry. My tears are for you. I wish I could hug you.

Lost without my man

Neil_1 — Wed, 11 Nov 2015 22:38:43 GMT

Dear prinka

I’m sorry to hear about the loss of your fiancé – and under awful circumstances.

I really hope that you’ve been able to have a lot of support around you during these last 7 months? Other family members, friends to have a shoulder to lean on or cry on; or simply a supportive ear to listen.

If you feel ok to do so, it’d be great to hear back from you.

Neil

Lost without my man

prinka — Thu, 12 Nov 2015 10:03:14 GMT

Thanks Shelley 😞

Lost without my man

prinka — Thu, 12 Nov 2015 10:13:38 GMT

Thanks Neil. Before this happened , I lived with the comfort of knowing that I have close friends and a caring family. Somehow I was on my own. My family is overseas and so are my friends. Everyone thought (and some said) - you had broken up. I struggled on my own and now feel I didn't just lose him but also the knowledge that I lost my network of loved ones. I have battled alone. some people have been kind but I feel so much poorer to know that I was alone

i now find more comfort in talking to strangers than my own. Life has changed in so many ways that nothing feels familiar

Lost without my man

Neil_1 — Thu, 12 Nov 2015 22:40:26 GMT

Dear prinka

Thank you for your latest response.

I hear you and I know what you mean – where you feel that talking to strangers can be more comforting (or perhaps easier to do) than being able to unload to others who are closer to you.

Also when someone experiences such tragedy, it DOES change you – it simply has to. Now for you, the familiarity feelings not being there would ring true, with also your family being overseas and also some of your friends also.

With people saying what they said to you – I realise that they were probably trying to say things to help, but those kinds of things don’t generally help. I mean, how can someone know what to say in such a situation – unless they’ve been there and they’ve experienced it. And then, it could still be different, as we all are individual and so we respond to different situations differently. I hope that made sense in what I was trying to get across there.

Please also with regard to coming here and posting, if you feel ok to do so, then this can be a very helpful place. To be able to unload and write and know that you’ll receive care and support and sometimes there might be some helpful advice as well.

If you haven’t already, it “might” be worth trying to make an appointment with your doctor – if you feel comfortable in doing so, to get some professional assistance as well. Just a thought.

Kind regards

Neil