topic Dig a little deeper in Multicultural experiences

Dig a little deeper

Hayfa — Sat, 26 May 2018 10:31:00 GMT

I started to reflect after re-reading many of the posts on this forum, some conversations are brilliant, witty, happy and sad. While reading I sensed a bit of a pattern about discontent, frustration, invisibility of identity and confusion. I couldn't help but feel a bit saddened by some of these posts, I remembered many times while I was growing up asking questions about my culture, background and spiritual beliefs. Very little was said to me because it was complicated but I wanted to know, I insisted on digging deep to find out more since I could see that there was a culture rich in history and beauty and this transcended more than just our art, food and music.

To cut a long story short, I was amazed at the journey of knowledge I have been on and continue to have where i am learning more and digging deeper about my origin, culture and beliefs. In fact I recently found out that my people hold the genetic DNA haplogroup X which was recently discovered to be a new and never before seen DNA group, it is around 135,000 years older than the DNA group originally thought to be the oldest since the Siberian migration. It is a rare DNA and apparently only found in the males of my people, the Druze who are inhabitants of Mt Lebanon, Jordan, Syria and Israel. Studies are currently under way to find out how many more holders of this haplogroup and why only these carriers, so far studies have concluded that the Druze have remained in their lands and haven't intermarried thus preserving that particular DNA.
It is a fascinating subject that has appealed to scientists around the world and caused so many Druze men to go get tested to see if they carry that DNA.

Historically, every cultural group has endured periods of dominance, war, occupation and more, but underneath there is histories rich in beauty and culture and it is worth exploring and digging a little deeper to find out more.
I have noticed the confusion of identity and culture stemming from intergenerational issues, diversity within diversity in these posts and how these have contributed to compromised mental health and wellbeing. I think culture and identity could be rethought in ways personally important and celebrated for the goodness that they can be and personally invoke.
I know some people don't want to dig deeper or don't really care, some are reserved to what they know now which they may have rendered not positive or they are content with simply what is.
Would love to hear your views.

Hayfa

Dig a little deeper

Peppermintbach — Sat, 26 May 2018 23:35:00 GMT

Hi Hayfa and all,

You sound proud and deeply interested in your cultural heritage, which is lovely 🙂 I think it’s wonderful that you tried to explore various aspects of your cultural heritage. I must admit that I personally know next to nothing about this DNA group but it does sound highly interesting. I suppose as more Druze men are tested for this DNA, there will be more revealed about it 🙂

As for your comments about wondering why people don’t necessarily “dig deeper”...I think it’s partly down to personal experiences. Personally, and this is just my own opinion, I don’t think people are intentionally trying to ignore the complexities of their own cultural background. But I think a person’s perception of and interest in his/her culture(s) partly depends on whether s/he has had a mostly positive or negative experience to date.

I feel a person who has mostly benefited or flourished under his or her traditions is likely to view his or her culture(s) positively. This same person is also more likely to research his/her cultural history and want to celebrate it.

Conversely, a person who has felt hurt by the same traditions or had more negative experiences is likely to have a more negative perception. Put it this way way, I feel if you’ve had mostly negative experiences then there is probably far less motivation, interest or incentive for you to “dig deeper.” Why research your own culture if you feel alienated or rejected from it, right?

Also, given that this is a mental health support website, I feel most posters are generally people who are seeking support for their struggles. For this reason, I think it’s more likely to attract posters who are dealing with various cultural pressures and stresses, which could help explain the “pattern about discontent, frustration, invisibility of identity and confusion.” that you perceive in some posts.

Whereas perhaps people who are happy to celebrate many aspects of their culture, etc may feel less of a need to post on this forum because they are quite content, and don’t feel they need support of this nature. So it could be very well that there are many people who have wonderful things to say about their cultural background but they might just be less inclined to post so you don’t hear as much from them.

Granted, this is just my personal opinion (so it may not be true) but hopefully i have given you another angle to look at things. What do you think?

Keep up the wonderful work you do here 🙂

Pepper xo

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Donte — Sun, 27 May 2018 13:12:54 GMT

Hello Hayfa,

Thank you for your thread. I find this a very interesting topic. I know nothing at all about DNA and the various types and how each group of people have various characteristics.

I know from my background, in terms of language and alphabet that Greek is one of the oldest languages recorded in history. There are also numerous studies that indicate traditional Greek diet is one of the healthiest and most balanced (not the diet todays Greeks have but the old, traditional diet of legumes, vegetables, nuts and fish with very little meat on ocassion.) I think poverty and an amazing climate has helped in a way in regards to health benefits. There is a village in the Greek island of Icaria where most inhabitants live over 100 years. This has been the studies of multitudes of scientific research to find out what is it that gives such health and longevity. These people have been cut off from the rest of the world and have never been to a supermarket (there’s none around) and neither have eaten anything processed during their lives.

I am not from that island. I’m from Athens - an overpopulated, polluted city with horrible stressful way of life. Most of my relatives have died in their 60s from blood pressure, diabetes, heart disease and cancers. A few had dementia.

Genes and DNA may favor or disadvantage us but I think our environment, lifestyle, diet, pollution, work, smoking and drinking, emotional health, relationships etc play a big role to our physical and mental health.

Migration has also altered many traditional ways as we learn and pick up new trends from our external environment. And so does our western lifestyles.

In the context of today’s global experience where people migrate, create families in cross-cultural engagements and have children in diverse settings that are a mixture of a variety of cultures, lots of our DNA alters.

I am in favor of cross-pollination and mixed relationships and Australia, and Melbourne particularly, is such a great example of this. Of course, together with the benefits and cultural enrichment comes confusion, dissatisfaction and identity loss.

I think it is a very good point worth discussing in the current context and effects on mental health. X

Dig a little deeper

Donte — Sun, 27 May 2018 13:16:06 GMT

Hi Pepper.

Great ideas here! Thank you for your contribution. X

Dig a little deeper

Peppermintbach — Sun, 27 May 2018 21:39:25 GMT

Thank you, Donte 🙂

I also really enjoyed reading your post.

Pepper xo

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Hayfa — Mon, 28 May 2018 06:15:30 GMT

Hi Pepper,

thank you so much for your thoughtful and beautiful responses. I understand that based on one's positive or negative experiences, it can dictate one's willingness to embrace culture or not.
Sometimes bad experiences could be preventive mental health risks too, it has been evidenced that having moved through bad experiences and wanting to explore positive experiences of the event can help to move through it and explore different, good perspectives and what they can contribute positively on emotional wellbeing.
I am sorry for how it can be so hard for some because of bad experiences, we are so lucky to have you Pepper on these forums supporting people since you bring such a beautiful, kind demeanour.
I hope that we can keep supporting and giving you just as you continue to do for us here, I want to learn more and I am grateful that you are open and accepting to the perspectives and conversations we have in these forums.

Thank you Pepper x

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Peppermintbach — Mon, 28 May 2018 22:27:06 GMT

Hi Hayfa and all,

Thank you so much, that was beautiful. Your words really moved me. I’m touched and feeling inspired by you.

Thank you again...I’m grateful for you too. You have a calm, caring and intelligent spirit about you. You sounded a little down (or at least to me but I’m sometimes just overly sensitive) in your opening post so hopefully my post helped to reassure you little...

I’m really interested in your comment:

Sometimes bad experiences could be preventive mental health risks too, it has been evidenced that having moved through bad experiences and wanting to explore positive experiences of the event can help to move through it and explore different, good perspectives and what they can contribute positively on emotional wellbeing.

Would you like to maybe elaborate as I’m keen to learn more about this plus maybe there are people silently reading who could gain from your insight?

Kind and caring thoughts plus much gratitude,

Pepper xoxo

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Hayfa — Tue, 29 May 2018 05:59:14 GMT

Hi Pepper,

thank you so much for your response and kind words.
Of course I would love to elaborate on that statement, what I meant was that sometimes the specific experience may have been unpleasant but there may be other things from that experience that may surface which are not generally unpleasant but can help to heal or see it from a different perspective. Lets take a simple hypothetical- someone who has a near death experience from alcohol and drugs, they come out of it, want to change their life and advocate and become support workers to help others.

Another example, a family loses a loved one in war overseas, they migrate to a more affluent country where new opportunities become available and their mental health and support structures are changed for the better, compromised wellbeing can be prevented or lessened from the new positive impacts.
I often tell my kids not to dwell on something negative said because this can affect them mentally, instead you need to look into the subject and make up your own mind on that subject, don't let anyone tell you this is who you are because you are free to be who you are from what you choose it to be. Perspectives are personal and individual and they are formulated on what one wants to believe and feel about the subject, there is good and bad in everything and we need to find what works and what helps us have peace of mind and calm.

I hope this helps explain it clearer. x

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Peppermintbach — Thu, 31 May 2018 22:09:00 GMT

Hi Hayfa (and a wave to all),

Thank you so much for taking the time to explain and help me understand 🙂

I see, I get what you’re saying now. I really like what you said about encouraging people to make up their own minds about something, and to be reminded that most things aren’t black and white. Yes, I feel there are shades of grey in most things and issues...

I love your insight 🙂 Thanks Hayfa!

Pepper xoxo

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Donte — Tue, 26 Jun 2018 18:38:35 GMT

Hello Hayfa,

A lot of people are so emotive.

Many people try to use reason in order to justify their emotions or beliefs but forget that reasoning is about determining facts.

So many people argue or debate over what is right, wrong, good, or bad instead of what is or what is not.

Right, wrong, good, and bad are opinions or beliefs but whether something is or is not is about facts and requires only facts.

Knowledge is about facts, not belief, theory, opinion, or conjecture.

Facts represent or describe reality and will remain regardless of whatever people feel about them.

All facts matter. No fact is to be discounted, dismissed, diminished, ignored, or overlooked when determining what is real or is not real because again, facts represent or describe reality.

When we attempt to rule out facts, we are attempting to rule out reality. That's a fact. Now, watch...as sure as this post is real and the points are cogent...there will be somebody that will attempt to assert that belief, opinion, or feelings are more important than facts when making a determination about anything.

There may even be someone that asks, "well, what is real?" To that, I say, "real" is anything that is reality or fact.

Some people may say, "well, beliefs and opinions are real". To that I say, yes, beliefs and opinions are real and it is fact that opinions and beliefs exist but no amount of belief or opinions determine reality.

Beliefs and opinions are rooted in emotion and emotion is not reason. Yes, emotions are real also but again, emotions don't determine reality.

Nobody can quantify emotion, beliefs, or opinions. For example, belief in a god does not substantiate the existence of a god. Faith in a god does not quantify the existence of a god. Whatever a person feels (emotion) about a god does not substantiate or quantify a god.

People can ignore facts but effects cannot be reasonably denied.

The tolerance of ignorance is what has the world where it is. The lack of respect and people not wanting to deal with all of the facts.

So, I have a question....how does tolerating ignorance help anyone or anything?

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Donte — Sun, 26 Aug 2018 00:54:20 GMT

Hello Hayfa,

It’s always nice to hear from you as you bring an insight and different perspective to mine. Personally, like many, I always learn new things in here and appreciate these discussions.

One of the things that strikes me is when you say:

‘Sometimes bad experiences could be preventive mental health risks too, it has been evidenced that having moved through bad experiences and wanting to explore positive experiences of the event can help to move through it and explore different, good perspectives and what they can contribute positively on emotional wellbeing.’

It made me realize that all of my life I have tried to do exactly this- move on from the traumatic experiences (being unwanted/abandoned by my parents, childhood sexual abuse, domestic violence, religious indoctrination and abuse, injuries and seroconversion later in life, bankruptcy and homelessness, and coming face to face with death - to name a few).

It seems here lies my difficulty and greatest challenge: to accept that what has happened is past and learn to live with the irreversible damage and maintain some level of functionality as I go through life knowing that the scars will never leave but it means the wounds have healed.

At some level this is achieved. I have embraced who I am and developed a life (I’m middle aged), and seen from externally, I have done pretty well.

It’s only those nights when the night terrors come and I wake up screaming on top of my voice, covered in sweat and so anxious that I think my heart will pop out of my chest; and other similar moments when nightmares, anxiety and depression and a deep fear and sadness chocks me that I’m reminded that at some level I’m still stuck in the trauma.

This forum has been a blessing and a curse for me. On one hand it provides the opportunity to explore and discuss and revisit trauma in ways that somehow can minimize its impact, and on the other, it has brought me face to face with my wounds again and I have often started scratching them till they bleed.

I guess this is precisely the process of developing the recovery mindset and ‘moving on’...

One cannot embrace, accept and celebrate their strengths and life experiences unless first they acknowledge the deep, often permanent, impact this trauma has caused and how the person comes out compromised on the other end.

No matter how much this experience has been a love/hate one, I still believe it might be helpful in the long run and perhaps worth the pain and tears. X

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Quercus — Tue, 04 Sep 2018 05:28:58 GMT

Hi Donte,

Glad to see you back posting. You really do sound like you're in pain right now.

Your last two posts I relate to deeply. Both I see as relating to Hayfa's topic of digging deeper.

Firstly your post about facts. It made me smile when you said someone would say feelings trump facts. That is me. You could ask ten people who experience the same event what happened and every story will be different. Because how we feel changes how we see the facts.

And the different views make a significant difference in whether we want to dig or bury any issue. An example is my family. Mum wants no contact with her biological family. I do. She is hurt I keep digging to discover because to her it needs to stay buried and ignored.

Same facts. Unknown heritage. But wildly different needs and wants and feelings and coping mechanisms.

Your second post too is so important. Digging into, questioning, acknowledging and facing any issue can hurt. Badly.

I remember telling a member when I first joined here starting therapy and admitting truths some days felt like a huge mistake. I felt I'd opened a giant can of worms. And there was no stuffing them back in and burying it. It is scary.

For a long time I hurt more. Wondered why on earth I was doing this. But in time I started to feel change. Once you start facing demons daily they very slowly start to lose their power. No longer a shame or secret it slowly allowed me to remember things and feel upset rather than hysterical.

This doesn't sound like much but that small change according to my psych is progress.

My point is digging is a choice. Only you make the choice to do so. And at any time you can take a break. I took a break from therapy because I wasn't curious. At my limit with nothing to give to cope with any new dramas. And that is ok too.

However you manage your mental health is your choice. If digging into the hurt is making you feel worse taking a break is a valid option too.

I hope you are ok.

Nat

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Donte — Thu, 13 Sep 2018 13:18:35 GMT

That’s beautiful Nat.

Thank you for this insight. Yes, I’m taking a break currently. - Stopped medications. Stopped counseling. And even questioning if this forum does more damage than good at the moment as it makes me furious having to constantly think and engage. My anxiety is over the roof and I feel my brain will explode at most days. So, times like these I prefer to disinfafe, shut down, close shop. No one else can tell you what’s right for you but you.