topic Facing a court case in Multicultural experiences

Facing a court case

Salted_Wound — Fri, 08 Sep 2017 13:54:14 GMT

A eighteen year old kid far away from from friends, family and country living ultimate depressed life from a long ago. Sometimes thinks of quitting and sometimes hopes to be everything alright. He has been living his life with full of depression and the small hope. He is alone and has never shared his problem with anyone, not a single person this is the first place that he's taking out from inside him. He has been charged with assault in the court which he did not committed, somehow he was responsible for that but not solely. He has been following court from long ago, it has been more than six months and he is living alone with head full of why, how and if. Just imagine, a eighteen year old kid and how he is facing all these things.

Facing a court case

Croix — Sat, 09 Sep 2017 04:22:38 GMT

Dear Salted Wound~

Welcome here and thank you for trusting us and reaching out. You sound very alone and coming here can be a first step in fixing that. From the sound of it you have a great deal of pressure on you and trying to deal with it all alone can make things much harder.

I guess if you have never told anyone else then you have never been to a doctor and seen if you have an illness such as depression. If it was me that wold be one of the first things I'd do. It could be a GP, or Headspace, or the Kids Help Line (teen branch). Any would be an excellent place to start. Once that is underway how you view things could improve quite quickly.

You did say you were in a different country, away from family and friends. How do you get on with your family? Is there anyone you could talk with - even by email - who cares about you and would want to help. I don't know your circumstances of course but many are most reluctant to talk with their parents fearing they will not understand. As a parent I'd want to know and help, irrespective of the problem, love does that.

I can't really say much about the court case other than if it is possible to be represented - I don't know if that is realistic - as having a lawyer can be a big help in putting your side of things before the court.

I hope you can feel comfortable here and come back and talk more

Croix

Facing a court case

Salted_Wound — Sat, 09 Sep 2017 06:50:35 GMT

Hie Croix.

Thank you so much for your reply. The next date of my court is very very near. It's after two days and I'm very scared of the outcome. I don't know anything about court process and police cases but several times I was lucky to get adjourned because they want me to get lawyer but this time I don't think that I'll get adjourned because I've no lawyer at all and I'm going court alone with hope. The thing that heart most is that I'm teenager and I haven't explored life alot and end is near. I'm not afraid of dying, I'm afraid that I haven't been alive enough

Facing a court case

Croix — Sat, 09 Sep 2017 14:38:51 GMT

Dear Salted Wound~

I've got to say I"m concerned about you, you said I haven't explored life alot and end is near.

Do you mean you are close to killing yourself? If so I've two things to say straight off:

The first is I'm an ex-policeman and know that assault charges are not the end of the world, certainly not getting so stressed and overwhelmed about to need to take you life. OK, it's a strange world in the courts and everything is very uncertain, but it is not a life-breaker. Most first offenses stand a good chance of having lenient sentences if found guilty.

If you can give the court reasons to be lenient. I am not in a position to advise you so as I said before if it is not too late find a lawyer, if you can't find one try legal aid, and if they refuse tell that to the court.

The second thing I wanted to say was I've wanted to take my life too. I felt there was no hope, things were a disaster and there was no way out. I was wrong, both circumstance and illness - depression - made me think that way, and it was close, a short while and I would not be here talking to you now. But I was wrong, there was hope, my life worked out.

Right now I'd think in terms of talking on our 24/7 Help Line (1300 22 4636), see what they have to say. Even the sound of a voice can be a surprising comfort.

A little effort to reach out now rather than just sitting in worry and fear can make an awful lot of difference

I hope to hear more from you

Croix

Facing a court case

Salted_Wound — Sat, 09 Sep 2017 21:17:34 GMT

Dear Croix,

I really appreciate your support and I would like to thank you for your care. At this stage I'm not killing myself, now I'm strong enough. Likely in past, I had thought about this many times.

I received phone calls from my parents on a daily basis questioning about me, my health and situation and I've been lying them by saying that everything is alright I'm more than happy and they are happy by my lies. My parents had debt huge amount of money to send me here with very high rate of interest, and I'm here like this. This thing has affected me in all aspect, my life has been mess and my studies too. I've been losing myself into thoughts and imaginations most of the time, my hands and whole body shakes all the time and I'm tired and sleepy for the whole time.

Facing a court case

Croix — Sun, 10 Sep 2017 04:01:32 GMT

Dear Salted Wound~

Well I'm relieved about that. You do seem however to be a person that takes on a whole load of responsibility. True your parents have made a big effort to send you to study, so I'm not surprised with how you feel. Actually if you step back you can see it is a partnership between them and you. It's not their job to just fork out the cash, or yours to just study, behave your self and get the qualification.

Life simply does not work like that and all parties have to expect problems along the way. While I'm sure they are happy at the moment with your fibs about everything being fine I'm not sure you are really doing them any favors.

Look at it this way. If you were a parent, would you prefer a son who was able to trust you enough to open up when things went wrong. Had enough faith in you that you could deal with problems as they came up.

The fact is you are not coping well and need support. I'm guessing but I would not be surprised that you have not got yourself representation is a symptom of this.

I'd suggest that even though a most difficult thing to do telling your parents how you really are is the wise thing. This is probably as important as seeking the medical help I mentioned before.

It may seem you have dug yourself a hole, but with a helping hand it can be behind you.

What do you think?

Croix

Facing a court case

Salted_Wound — Sun, 10 Sep 2017 05:52:02 GMT

I love my parents so much and I don't want to give them any kind of trouble and worries. That's why I'm hiding biggest blur of my life. Sometimes I'm sending them some money from my pocket and sending false hope with fake smile all most everyday. They are my life. I've court date tomorrow and I don't know what is going to happen tomorrow. I'm quite bit more than panic. By the way thank you Croix. Thank you so much for your words.

Facing a court case

Croix — Sun, 10 Sep 2017 06:30:33 GMT

Dear Salted Wound~

Whatever you decide and whatever happens you have a place here you can talk. There will always be sympathy and understanding here

Croix

Facing a court case

Salted_Wound — Sun, 10 Sep 2017 06:40:07 GMT

OK Croix. If I backed tomorrow then I'll post here again. I'm glad that you guys are here and I wonder that why I hadn't been known about you earlier.

Facing a court case

Salted_Wound — Sun, 10 Sep 2017 22:22:02 GMT

How are you people? I'm so glad that I've took out my hidden secret to you people. Tomorrow is my date, anything could possibly be tomorrow and I'm very scared at the moment, I don't even know what to say and what to right.
I'm literally very tired and stressed at the moment, thinking about tomorrow. Head full of thoughts, prayings and predictions. All the things of my life are rounding in my mind. My childhood, my parents, my career, my studies and everything. I'm having headache and dizzy my hands and legs are not moving, my body is shaking. In this summer I'm inside blanket but my whole body is wet by sweat. I'm only some hours of free life. I maybe locked by tomorrow or I may be deported to my country or detention. My career is going to be finished. I'll never able to be better person. I don't want to be shit. I want to be a good man and want to do good deeds. I'm not a criminal, I don't want to live rest of my life with tag of criminal.

I'm at the train right now going to Magistrates court with small hope of returning back to my room.

Facing a court case

swtpotato — Sun, 10 Sep 2017 23:02:11 GMT

Hi Salted Wound,

I am so sorry to hear of your situation, I hope we can be somewhat comforting to you. I know how much it helps to have people to talk to honestly and without judgement - even if it's just a small post on the internet 🙂

It seems it feels everything is crashing all around you? I hear what you're saying about your whole life going around in your mind, I think it is important to remember anxiety and depression distort your perception and you remember things more negatively than you might in a healthier state of mind.

When I am like this I remind myself that it is all just 'catastrophising' - and try to remember there is some possibility that things may be manageable, though I know that may seem crazy to you in your situation. It seems like it would be very scary, esp without family or friends around to support you.

I recently had a major depressive episode and had resigned myself to living with severe chronic fatigue for the rest of my life, I was completely isolated from family and friends. Things seemed completely hopeless. And then life just kept going. I opened up to family, friends, gp and psychologist. I started to get better, one step at a time. I am at uni studying full time now living away from home. The worst thing imaginable is eventually, at worst, manageable. You will get through whatever this turns out to be.

You are not a criminal, you get to decide who you are, no matter what the outcome of tomorrow. I hope you find the strength to let your family know what you are going through before tomorrow, even if it's just hinting at what's going on.

In the meantime I hope you just let yourself breathe! Go for a walk! Talk to people on here about anything at all to try and distract yourself.

Hope it all goes well! I will be thinking of you.

Facing a court case

Salted_Wound — Mon, 11 Sep 2017 09:38:42 GMT

Hi hello, I'm back

Luckily I didn't get locked today. Certain discussions between Judy lawyer, prosecution and magistrate decided my matter to be adjourned up to 13th of September for committal and my bail has been enlarged for some circumstances. Up to this I have been adjourned for seven times and this depression is killing me from inside. I have been adjourned to 13th September. It means that I have to live like hell for one more than with bunch of frustrations and depression, sometimes even being unconscious and sometimes running mind with suicidal thoughts and again being strong controlling myself and cheating with hope, desperate hope, desperate false hope.

But I'm not alone for this one months because I've this forum for anonymous emotional as well as psychological support. Thank you so much lovely people

Facing a court case

swtpotato — Tue, 12 Sep 2017 08:24:09 GMT

Hi Salted Wound it is good to hear from you,

Sorry I didn't see your post till now.

That is so frustrating! They keep pushing it back? Keep holding on to the hope! Please know you deserve support, have you thought about calling a hotline or doing online counselling?? It could really help, if you are in a really bad place please reach out.

Stay strong, and keep us updated. Talk about whatever you want.

Facing a court case

Guest_128 — Tue, 12 Sep 2017 09:49:43 GMT

Hey Salt,

Well that certainly is a massive relief.

Now this will give you time to get some help and

Tell your Mum and Dad how much you are suffering and how much you need them in your life for support and love.

They deserve that from you.

We here can guide you and give you support on how to do this.

Honestly that is your only way to peace.

Whats your thoughts on this?

Dory

Facing a court case

Salted_Wound — Tue, 12 Sep 2017 22:00:32 GMT

Good morning dory and em.

I cannot even imagine to tell my mum and dad that I've been charged with police case, they will become sad to know that so I've made decision to fight myself all alone, and I never tell this to second person because they will judge me that's why I'm scared so much.

Thanks alot guys it would be so great if there was any way to talk with you

Facing a court case

Guest_128 — Wed, 13 Sep 2017 08:36:36 GMT

They are your mum and dad,sounds like they love you dearly.

If I was your mum, I would be glad you came home for help.

My son who we hardly had any probs with at the age of 24 was admitted to hospital with drug induced psychosis, huge shock to the system,

He is my son,

Dory

Facing a court case

Croix — Wed, 13 Sep 2017 08:41:26 GMT

Dear Salted Wound~

Checking with you as you said you were bailed until today. How are you?

Croix

Facing a court case

Salted_Wound — Wed, 13 Sep 2017 12:14:44 GMT

Hie Croix.

Thank you so much. Actually it was typing mistake of mine, I've been bailed until 13th of October.

Facing a court case

Croix — Wed, 13 Sep 2017 12:23:24 GMT

Dear Salted Wound~

Good! That give you time to get representation, which can help a lot sometimes

I'll stop nagging now 🙂

Croix

Facing a court case

Salted_Wound — Mon, 18 Sep 2017 12:56:47 GMT

Hello people