topic Observing passengers traveling on a train. How we view and experience the world from our perspective? in Multicultural experiences

Observing passengers traveling on a train. How we view and experience the world from our perspective?

Donte — Tue, 03 Apr 2018 16:19:45 GMT

I was sitting in a train today and as we were passing the various stations I was watching people on the platforms and entering or exiting the train. Some well-dressed, others casual, a few had seen better days.

So many people! People of all sizes, shapes, age, backgrounds, socioeconomic status, religious convictions, sexual orientations, gender etc.

It made me think at a train station, how many issues, how many joys and losses are waiting?
One person goes to a celebration.
Another off to find bitterness and sorrow.
And the tourists with their cameras;
The homeless and the beggars with their guitars...

How the empty stations pierce your heart when the train leaves them behind. When all talk is quiet. No words heard.
When upon the lines night falls.
Just for a moment passing by so quickly, our life.
At a light, a uniform, a glimpse,
And then silence again.
And darkness.

Ever thought of all your journeys?
Which station were you yesterday?
In which wagon or carriage?

It’s so interesting how you can be in the same place, doing the same things and yet your thoughts are always different.

Today I pondered on how our environment, the daily images that register in our brains, the sounds, the smells, the tastes etc affect our feelings and moods and shape our wellbeing.

Our sense of the day is constantly affected by the ‘now’ and what we observe or experience at any given moment. How it makes us feel after it passes...

Each passenger in a train may travel to similar directions and have same destination, however, the same things will be seen completely uniquely from each person.

Even people of the same age, gender, sexual orientation, ethnicity, religion etc would never see the same things in the same way.

We are all upon an express line, Life.
Running fast.
And the line always ends.
In the end.

How do you understand your environment in the context of your mental wellbeing? How do you see or interpret daily events? How and when do you decide that ‘today is a good day?’

How do you feel when you find yourself in a train carriage that is packed and you have to fight for your spot in the sea of bodies surrounding you?

What are some daily things that you do which make a positive impact on your life?

Is any particular thing that you’ve picked up from your upbringing that helps you carry on in your daily journeys and eases the struggles?

Observing passengers traveling on a train. How we view and experience the world from our perspective?

Peppermintbach — Thu, 05 Apr 2018 22:05:34 GMT

Hi Donte’,

What a lovely and thoughtful post about the beauty of diversity and acceptance 🙂

I’m too tired to answer any of your wonderful questions right now but I just wanted to express my appreciation for this thread.

Thinking of you.

Pepper xo

Observing passengers traveling on a train. How we view and experience the world from our perspective?

Birdy77 — Thu, 05 Apr 2018 22:14:37 GMT

Hello Donte,

Like Pepper, I just wanted to mark my appreciation for this thoughtful and thought provoking thread.

It's very poetic & creatively expressed.

You work so hard and put so much into all your threads and it's very admirable, thank you for your always thoughtful posts, I read most of them but don't often post myself.

I really hope you are taking gentle care of yourself. You are admired on these forums and are a valuable part of the community here.

Thinking of you.

Gentle thoughts 🌻birdy

Observing passengers traveling on a train. How we view and experience the world from our perspective?

Peppermintbach — Thu, 05 Apr 2018 22:36:48 GMT

Well said, Birdy 🌻

Pepper xoxo

Observing passengers traveling on a train. How we view and experience the world from our perspective?

Donte — Fri, 06 Apr 2018 04:06:04 GMT

Thank you Pepper.

I grew up with a mother that was mostly cynical and always tried to find reasons to validate her belief system - that the world is a bad place - that no one can be trusted, that people want to always exploit you and use you. She would say to me: ‘If anyone says good morning, ask them what they want’; ‘The world is evil. No one wants cares about you. They stab you with a smile.’

It can be hard for first-born children to be born and grow up in a family where the father is absent (if around at all) and the mother too young to deal with life and unable to cope. You see, she was running away from a very early age from home, to escape an alcoholic father and the violence that took place in front of her eyes in her family home. She met my dad and got married in 23 days - the only option to leave home - and then gave birth to me at 18! Unemployed, homeless, in an era and a place where women were not able to receive an education and/or employment and their only option for a better future with some sense of security was to marry someone with a secure job or career.

It took me decades, and I’m still struggling at times, to realize that her personal experience and beliefs don’t have to be mine too. There’s plenty of ugliness in the world but also lots of goodness and kindness.

Looking around me now, with the eyes of a middle-aged person, many times her words echo my ears, but also, at other times I’m convinced she was wrong.

What makes a good day? Sometimes it’s just a glimpse, a look, a smile, a word.

I’ve come to realize that our personal perspective affects and influences the interpretation we give to our experiences and the environment we find ourselves in.

The awareness of the connectedness with our own thoughts and emotions; the impact others have on us; the environment we are in and the way we are all linked together plays a major role in our wellbeing and mental health.

If we are able to smile silently and turn around; look at something else; divert our thinking; concentrate on something or someone else, then when we come back to ourselves, the feelings seem different, the thoughts have changed, what remains is only the memory of how we felt as a reaction to a specific event.

And the train keeps running fast on the tracks. The day is leaving and another is approaching.

Trying to exist in the space between the moment that expires and the one that is about to eventuate may be the most challenging and yet cathartic endeavor there is.

Observing passengers traveling on a train. How we view and experience the world from our perspective?

Donte — Fri, 06 Apr 2018 04:17:47 GMT

Thank you Birdy77,

We are all passengers onboard this train called life.

I’m honored to be part of this online community and share experiences that directly or indirectly impact our wellbeing and affect our mental health.

I get as much out of this exchange and engagement as everyone else.

It is indeed, a great avenue to connect and acknowledge, embrace and accept aspects of ourselves that often we are unable to express elsewhere. And to know that we are safe and aloud to do so is truly therapeutic.

I’m thankful to have been introduced to this forum and undoubtedly it has helped me immensely to connect with aspects of my life that were often not given permission to surface and properly looked at given the significance they deserve.

Thank you for being a part of the journey and for your encouragement.

We are not alone. And we are all more than we are.

Observing passengers traveling on a train. How we view and experience the world from our perspective?

Peppermintbach — Fri, 06 Apr 2018 08:54:46 GMT

Hi Donte’ and anyone reading,

Your second post was very poignant. I found it bittersweet...sad but hopeful at the same time. Much like life, I suppose (or my take on it anyway)...

Your comment about how our unique experiences helped to shape us into the people we are today really struck a chord with me.

But this...this was truly beautiful:

And the train keeps running fast on the tracks. The day is leaving and another is approaching.

Trying to exist in the space between the moment that expires and the one that is about to eventuate may be the most challenging and yet cathartic endeavor there is..

Also, I’m so happy Birdy (waves) wrote to acknowledge your thoughtful contributions.

I really hope the multicultural forum grows, and isn’t it wonderful to know that you were there to watch (and help) it evolve from day one?

That’s pretty special 🙂

Pepper xo

Observing passengers traveling on a train. How we view and experience the world from our perspective?

Birdy77 — Fri, 06 Apr 2018 11:13:07 GMT

Hello Donte' and Pepper 😊 and all,

It's so great to hear back from you Donte'.

That phrase Pepper quoted, that you wrote, is really truly beautiful and so true.

i know you have much heartache and it's truly courageous the way you live each day to the best of your ability and to give your all on these forums. You bring a lot to a lot of people.

Pepper and I think highly of you as do many others here.

Cheers friends ❤ xo

🌻birdy

Observing passengers traveling on a train. How we view and experience the world from our perspective?

Birdy77 — Fri, 06 Apr 2018 11:18:42 GMT

Hello Donte' and Pepper 😊 and all,

It's so great to hear back from you Donte'.

That phrase Pepper quoted, that you wrote, is really truly beautiful and so true.

i know you have much heartache and it's truly courageous the way you live each day to the best of your ability and to give your all on these forums. You bring a lot to a lot of people.

Pepper and I think highly of you as do many others here.

Cheers friends ❤ xo

🌻birdy

Observing passengers traveling on a train. How we view and experience the world from our perspective?

Birdy77 — Fri, 06 Apr 2018 11:24:34 GMT

Hello Donte' and Pepper 😊 and all,

It's so great to hear back from you Donte'.

That phrase Pepper quoted, that you wrote, is really truly beautiful and so true.

i know you have much heartache and it's truly courageous the way you live each day to the best of your ability and to give your all on these forums. You bring a lot to a lot of people.

Pepper and I think highly of you as do many others here.

Cheers friends ❤ xo

🌻birdy

Observing passengers traveling on a train. How we view and experience the world from our perspective?

Elizabeth CP — Fri, 06 Apr 2018 12:13:54 GMT

You are right. We might be on the same train in the same carriage at the same time but our experience is affected by our perspective. As a young teenager my parents had little money. We had migrated to Australia for a better life. 18 mths after moving into our new home from the migrant hostel we lost everything in a bushfire. two years later my dad became seriously unwell & money became tighter paying for ongoing medical fees. Later mum became sick & eventually became wheelchair bound. My siblings & I were going through the same experiences but our perspectives were different. As the oldest I recognised how my parents had little money & were doing their best to deal with the situation & doing all they could to give us the best upbringing they could in the circumstances. Appreciating that meant I did what I could to help. I walked to school to save my busfare & I taught myself to sew so I could have decent clothes rather than asking my parents to buy them. I learnt to manage my money carefully & this has helped me throughout my life. I am OK going without to make the money go further. In contrast my youngest sibling thought my parents were mean not giving him as much food and other things as he wanted. He didn't understand their struggles. Even now he likes the best food & spends money easily not wanting to go without.

Maybe we can learn from this to realise we all see things from different perspectives & this affects how we think & act. Perhaps we should take the time to find out why people are acting in a different way to us so we can better understand & allow for out differences.

Observing passengers traveling on a train. How we view and experience the world from our perspective?

Doolhof — Sat, 07 Apr 2018 05:48:07 GMT

Hi Donte' and All,

It has been a long time since I have been on a train, we don't have any public transport in our rural region. I have enjoyed reading all that has been shared here.

It is interesting how we can take on the ideals and beliefs of our parents or challenge them later on in life and decide to think in our own way, still respecting our parents had their beliefs due tot heir own upbringing.

My maternal grand father was treated harshly in the years of WW2 due to his ancestors not being British. In turn my Mum suffered for the suffering of her father. That suffering can stop, but I wonder how much of it is ingrained in our genes and psyche.

Back to the train you mentioned Donte, the closest thing I can relate it to is the Church I attend Sundays. One Sunday I decided to sit somewhere else in the Church. Someone stood above me until I moved seats. This happened three times that morning. Now I just sit in the same place where I normally sit.

I wonder if people who get on the train at the first stop like to have the same seat? How do they feel if someone else gets on the train before them and takes their seat?

Then there is the lady who sits down the front of the Church, alone, complaining no one sits with her, but she does not move to join anyone else on a different bench. I tried sitting in the front with her, but found that swivelling my neck for the whole service gave me a very sore neck and started off a migraine.

We gather in the one building. Each having come from somewhere and going to somewhere after. We connect for a short period of time and then disperse.

What does it all mean? We humans need connection, but at the same time we seem to go out of our way at times to not connect. By not changing seats. By not saying hello to the person next to us.

Say hello to people in a lift and see how quickly everyone tries to get out when the lift doors open!

Enough ramblings from me! Cheers all from Dools

Observing passengers traveling on a train. How we view and experience the world from our perspective?

Donte — Sat, 07 Apr 2018 10:06:02 GMT

Hello Birdy77,

Thank you.

This forum is giving me so much too! We are all here together. I'm truly thankful for the opportunity. X

Observing passengers traveling on a train. How we view and experience the world from our perspective?

Donte — Sat, 07 Apr 2018 10:16:36 GMT

What a beautiful analogy Doolhof!

I grew up going to church every week as my dad was a deacon and later became a pastor. I remember people always sitting at the same spot week in, week out. Some had their own cushions they had brought from home as the wooden hard bench seats they were most uncomfortable....they would leave them in the church so as not to carry them back and from...So many times we do things out of habit...wondering at times if we changed something, would it change our mental health? How much of our attitude affects our wellbeing?

Observing passengers traveling on a train. How we view and experience the world from our perspective?

Quercus — Sat, 07 Apr 2018 15:21:59 GMT

Hi Donte (and a wave to everyone who has replied)...

I don't really have the words to explain why I found your post so touching/meaningful/bittersweet.

It just left me feeling slightly sad somehow. And then I read Mrs Ds post about being isolated in church and being human and needing connection and I realised why...

When I first came to the city and went on a train I remember someone laughing quietly at my obvious worry/awe/shellshock/admiration. I heard the laughter and sunk into myself embarrassed. Felt like the silly country kid sticking out like a sore thumb.

Then recently I took miss 3 and mr 4 on a bus around the city. They wore the same look as I did so many years ago. I heard quiet laughter again. This time I looked.

There were teens laughing because my husband and my son were pulling faces at eachother.

There was an older couple laughing when the kids pointed out the most random things (loudly) "oooh look Mum! They have Jacaranda trees here too!".

There were even the stuffy workers in suits who cracked a smile at Miss 3 telling them she had icecream and saw a TinTin shop. "Do you like icecream?".

I sat and listened to my ferals babble excitedly (no hope keeping the volume down sorry). And saw another Mum snort and give me a smile as if to say "you're so screwed... They're going to crash on the way home and then refuse to go to bed".

My rambling point... Once I saw judgement. Now I look a little deeper.

There is always more going on beneath the surface. That's what makes our discussions here so interesting.

Observing passengers traveling on a train. How we view and experience the world from our perspective?

Donte — Sat, 07 Apr 2018 23:31:49 GMT

Thank you Quercus,

What a beautiful story! I used to commute via public transport on a daily basis while growing up in Athens. Had to catch a bus, a train and a trolley (electric bus that runs on power lines like the tram), on my way to school and back home. Squashed like sardines, in a city of 5 million people, I would encounter numerous positive and negative experiences and in an era prior to mobile phones and internet, one would be either reading a book or observe the people and surroundings.

Nowadays I mostly drive, but in the odd occasion when I need to go downtown, I catch a tram and a train. It is very interesting indeed to become aware of our context and the way we function within it and outside of it. Our role. Reality. Daily ‘normality’ can vary a lot depending where we sit and where we are at. Trains for me are a good representation of life itself. X

Observing passengers traveling on a train. How we view and experience the world from our perspective?

Doolhof — Sun, 08 Apr 2018 02:56:21 GMT

Hi Everyone,

I want to go and catch a train or a bus to somewhere! I am missing out on connection with fellow people in transit! I was thinking of going tot he city this week via train (have to drive almost an hour to reach the nearest train station).

It is going to be a hot start to the week here in S.A. and I am so over the heat so I will save that for when it finally becomes cooler.

I like to sit in the main shopping mall and watch all the people go past, so much to see, different accents to hear and a variety of clothing to admire.

Quercus, thanks for your story. I am sure many people enjoyed the experiences your children were sharing with others even if they were not aware their actions were being witnessed by others.

You also reminded me of the first time I went on a train and had to use the ticket machine, I had to ask people how to use the jolly machine.

Cheers all from Dools

Observing passengers traveling on a train. How we view and experience the world from our perspective?

Quercus — Sun, 08 Apr 2018 14:47:47 GMT

Hi Mrs D and Donte and anyone reading,

Ah the joy of people watching 😊.

It feels like a lifetime ago but my Mum and I would go to a cafe and people watch like you do at the shop Mrs D.

Mum would make up ridiculous stories about what people were thinking or where they were going. The more ridiculous the better. We would use clothes and accents and body language as a guide. It was usually like a soapie storyline. Would always end up getting the giggles.

Sometimes I wondered on my really bad days if anyone was watching me. Would they guess I was suicidal?

It felt so bloody obvious. A big sign over my head noone seemed to see.

Donte I like your idea of trains respresenting life. It made me think it is all about perspective. My husband sees the threats on the train. I see the people and the plants out the windows. Same train. Different views based on life experience.

Observing passengers traveling on a train. How we view and experience the world from our perspective?

Donte — Sun, 08 Apr 2018 21:31:10 GMT

That’s so true Quercus,

Most people nowadays are too busy watching their smart phone screens to notice anyone or anything around them. The times have change. We seem much more withdrawn and introverted as a whole.

Not too often, people would now stand up for a frail or elderly to sit down. Not much talk or interaction with the persons next to us. Mostly silence. Headphones on, phone absorbing us and taking our attention away from what’s unfolding in front of our eyes.

Back in the day, people would talk more to each other, I remember, about anything and everything. There was engagement, communication...

Now, we may be connected to thousands of people simultaneously around the globe while we don’t even exchange a glance with the passenger next to us or opposite us. We hide behind the screens. We have buried ourselves in technology and is changing us. Changing our reactions, feelings, responses and the way we see ourselves and others and the world...

Maybe, in a way, we are still spectators, peeping Toms, only using a different medium; being a step more removed from it all, making sure our position is safe and we will remain unaffected, sending ‘likes’, ‘thoughts’, ‘vibes’ and ‘prayers’...sweet nothings that cost us nothing but give us the false sense that we are doing something whereas in reality we do absolutely nothing.