topic Ranting about homophobes - and should i respond? in Sexuality and gender identity

Ranting about homophobes - and should i respond?

hewieth14 — Thu, 06 Jan 2022 13:22:33 GMT

i was verbally harassed, over text, a couple of hours ago - which is usually fine for me because I've learnt/become desensitized to this stuff - and I've sort of spiralled. this has never happened to me so I'm a bit scared but I got caught in the rabbit hole of reflecting on both his idiocy and his words. I kept thinking about it until i realised that i had been researching the mental health issues of lgbtqia+ people. and to put it lightly i went right off at the guy that was texting me.

and i wasn't angry that he was calling me this stuff, because i honestly couldn't care less what some boy thinks of me. but i was angrier at how, firstly, inconsiderate he was being, but also how ignorant he was being. it kind of made me think of the bigger picture. I'm one person that its happened to and the other guy is one person that is contributing to the issues. i was angry on a societal level.

(he also called me and my bestfriend some other thing which i don't think I'm allowed to say)

i told him how his actions have consequences etc, but i evidently didn't get through to him.

so i think my question is how do i combat it - mostly over text because i would walk away irl? it's never happened to me before this (i only recently came out).

p.s I've blocked the homophobe for anyone wondering - only positive vibes only here 🙂

Ranting about homophobes - and should i respond?

geoff — Thu, 06 Jan 2022 14:40:01 GMT

Hello Hewieth, welcome to the site.

Whatever this person says is meaningless and I'm sorry if in some way it has hurt you because being brave, sometimes bits of what has been said may linger along until eventually they are forgotten about.

You know there are people who are a 'thorn in your side' such as this person, but the only way you can improve is by dismissing them unless a common ground can be established but in this instant, the horse has bolted, so you need to look after yourself.

Geoff.

Ranting about homophobes - and should i respond?

Positive_vibes89 — Thu, 06 Jan 2022 21:08:42 GMT

There are indeed some terrible people in this world. There are so many reason's as to why a person is homophobic for example they grew up with parents that told them that homosexuals are wrong therefore they continue to have this view, or their religion prohibits homosexuality etc. Personally I believe people like this are small minded and lack the capacity to accept people from different walks of life. They still live in the stone age!!! I have met alot of people from the LGBT+ community and they are amazing human beings!! You cannot help who you love man, woman, transgender etc or who you are. Don't let this silly person defy who you are their words or opinions don't count. It is what you think of yourself, is what is important. Self love is a fundemantal of happiness.

Ranting about homophobes - and should i respond?

therising — Thu, 06 Jan 2022 21:31:44 GMT

Hi hewieth14

I'm wondering whether this person took you to a whole new level of feeling the impact of homophobia. Kind of like you've met with basic or a little beyond basic discrimination before but this was like a whole new level of discrimination and offensive ranting. Nothing compares with the people who trigger us to reaching a whole new level of feeling. I imagine, if I was to ask you 'Did you feel his level of discrimination?', you're answer might be something along the lines of 'Hell yeah!'. I've found, while a sensitive person has the super natural ability to feel so much (discrimination included), working with the ability to feel and mastering it in one way or another can prove to be a significant challenge. A person who feels so much can create balance on the spectrum of feeling and complete emotional detachment. Mastering knowing when to feel and when not to feel (in favor of pure logic) as well as to what degree is something that comes with experience. In fact, you always remain sensitive when you maintain the ability to sense where you need to be on the spectrum, based on the circumstances you face. You mention your growing ability to detach from feeling discrimination. There will definitely be people who test this ability, like the guy you mention. Perhaps cutting him off completely was part of the test, which you obviously passed with flying colours 🙂

I think it takes a certain kind of person to remind us of who we naturally are. A closed minded person will remind us of how open minded we are. Someone who discriminates based on ignoring all the facts can remind us how we are led to wonder about the facts before us, as opposed to ignoring them. They remind us we are wonderful (full of wonder). Someone who is cruel can remind us of how kind, caring and thoughtful we are. One who is shut off to change can remind us of how flexible we are when it comes to change.

So, you could say you've just met with someone who's triggering you to be reminded of how open minded, wonderful, kind, caring and flexible in your thinking you are. I imagine they'll never see these things in you but I do. I should add, if you are amazed more than ever before by how truly passionate and upstanding you are, this officially makes you amazing. Amazing our self still officially makes us amazing. We don't have to amaze anyone else to be classed as amazing.

I've found, over time, the most angering of people can occasionally lead us to discover the best in our self 🙂