topic Sick of the hate in Sexuality and gender identity

Sick of the hate

Aussie Platypus — Tue, 24 May 2022 22:35:49 GMT

Having trouble expressing myself but I guess I feel like I’m constantly fighting. Fighting for people to use my pronouns, fighting to be safe, fighting to be loved, fighting to be respected & fighting for kids. I’m a student TA and all the gender bias in schools is suffocating and I’m an adult! I’m also a Scout Leader and the only out gender fluid one that I know about and the gender stereotypes 🤯. I’m tired and I’m so lost, where do I even start! I know that there is at least 2 kids that are struggling with their identity and they aren’t even comfortable enough to talk to me about it. Stupid small minded little town.

Sick of the hate

Sophie_M — Tue, 24 May 2022 22:57:26 GMT

Dear Aussie Platypus,

We are glad that you've joined and posted in our forum. We are a very supportive community, and we would like to help you continue finding the strength to be proudly, comfortably, and happily who you truly are.

It's so unfortunate that there are people out there who seem to be threatened by that which is different, and yet is no actual threat to them.

It is usually quite beneficial to communicate with people who are understanding and supportive. We would encourage you to contact qlife at
https://qlife.org.au/resources/chat
between 3 PM and midnight every day.

We are here for you.

Warm regards,

Sophie M.

Sick of the hate

jaz28 — Tue, 24 May 2022 22:59:23 GMT

Hi there,

I am sorry you are struggling to feel heard. What are your pronouns, if I may ask? Also, I love your profile picture!

I applaud you for being open about your gender fluidity and attempting to break the stigma. The scouts and students are hiding their true selves and they probably actually look up to you. But because the stigma is so deep-rooted in the system, it can be really difficult to come out. Would they feel comfortable if you broke the ice first, do you feel?

Somebody out there probably thinks you are amazing! 🙂 There may be some kids struggling that you cannot tell and they most likely look up to you. It is a hard time. Last week was IDAHOBIT (International Day Against Homophobia, Biphobia, Intersexism and Biphobia), and just reminds us our the importance of allies and all they do for the LGBTQI+ community. I am a proud ALLY and you should find those in your town that are as well, not all of them would be "small-minded" as you say...I hope. Keep being you and try not to let this get in the way of your shine.

All the best,

Jaz xx

Sick of the hate

Centaured — Wed, 25 May 2022 01:31:56 GMT

G'day ausie platypus. I'm sorry you're experiencing so much hate and transphobia. It is hard to be ourselves, and then go face so much stigma doing so sucks. I'm sorry you have to go through that.

And I hear you don't want others to go through what you have, to be a champion for those struggling with their identities, and show them it's ok to be out and proud. And as Jaz said the kids probably look up to you.

Being a teacher assistant and scout leader you have many opportunities to be the change you wish to see. You may feel like your cracking under the pressure to be the leader you want to be but it takes guts to do what you are doing and you are probably a lot stronger than you thing you are.

I myself am non-binary. I hope you can find the support here, we are mixed bunch at beyond blue, but that is what makes it great, such a vast wealth of knowledge and experience.

Just one more thing thing, you mentioned you're struggling with being safe, just thought I'd check in in this regard. How you going?

Sick of the hate

Aussie Platypus — Wed, 25 May 2022 04:21:39 GMT

Hi Sophie!

I haven’t heard of qlife before so I will check it out! Thank you!

Sick of the hate

Aussie Platypus — Wed, 25 May 2022 04:26:55 GMT

Hi Jaz! My pronouns are they/them (thank you for asking!)

I don’t feel like I can be loud about my gender fluidness(?), from the outside I’m like a chic who doesn’t shave I guess. I’m known as a ‘mum’ as well so people know my birth gender by the fact I’m a mum. I’m not a loud queer person naturally either. I wear they/them pins on my trans 🏳️‍⚧️ flag lanyard but people just don’t pay attention to those things I guess.

Sick of the hate

Aussie Platypus — Wed, 25 May 2022 04:29:58 GMT

Hi Centaured!

I worry about my safety a little when I’m out in the general community by myself. I know I’m an easy target but so far I haven’t been hurt physically.

Emotionally hurt is another matter, I’m regularly mis gendered and I try not to be too sensitive about it but I guess I actually feel really disappointed in people (like my mum) who I thought were better then that.

Sick of the hate

Centaured — Wed, 25 May 2022 05:23:26 GMT

Im sorry you feel hurt and let down by the world. Constantly having to fight for your identity, it shouldn't be this hard just to be ourselves. Having ones gender/identity confirmed is about acknowledgement of who they are and and that they matter. I want to say you matter, and you deserve to be respected.

Dumb question, but do you firmly correct and call out people on they're misgendering and wrong pronouns. Some people are just dumb, ignorant and don't know or pay attention to subtle hints and need to be corrected multiple times til they get it, and may still slip up on the odd occasion. Like my mum also wouldn't get til I said you either accept it or you accept me or I'm out of your life, it took that for her to realise how important it was for me. She still doesn't agree with it due to religious reasons, but respects me and my pronouns now.

Some people don't understand how much it means to us. They might not consciously be misgendering you but just don't get it. Please continue to be strong and find a way to continue to be you and stand up for your right to be known correctly and heard.

Btw side note: pronoun pins are awesome. I have one myself.

Sick of the hate

Aussie Platypus — Wed, 25 May 2022 11:11:25 GMT

To Centaured,

I think I need to be a little more ‘firm’ in getting people to use my pronouns. I realise it’s a’new’ thing for people to get used too but I dunno don’t I deserve the respect?

I’m encouraging people to watch the show ‘Heartstopper’ hoping maybe that will give them a better idea but 🤷🏻.

Sick of the hate

Centaured — Wed, 25 May 2022 12:07:42 GMT

I wanna say that, Yes, you do deserve the respect. You deserve everything in the world to be acknowledged and confirmed for who you are. You, you identity, matter. I encourage to stand firm, and try to make them to understand.

Sick of the hate

Aussie Platypus — Thu, 26 May 2022 06:15:59 GMT

Thank you Centaured!

tomorrow I’m back in a classroom, I’m trying to ‘put my shields up’ but I’m just a bit exhausted. I think I need like a mantra or something I can think of. I need a role model 🤔

anyway here is to hopefully not been mis gendered too much tomorrow.

Sick of the hate

Centaured — Fri, 27 May 2022 05:35:51 GMT

Hey

I hope school went ok today. Do you know anyone personally who is trans/nb to look up to. Or anyone online or even a celebrity that has come out you think is someone to have as a role model.

I myself found that hard. When I first came out I came out as male coz I didn't understand that gender fluid/non binary was a thing and still learning who I was. I didnt have anyone in my life who was trans or queer as I grew up in a small town and surrounded by a lot of religious friends/family. I had to find it within myself to be out and proud which took a while and I eventually discovered I was nb rather that ftm. I had to find the courage to be myself no matter what anyone thought or said. I was me, that was enough and that is all and everything I could be. People just had to accept it, and if they couldn't it was on them not me.

Dont let the hate get you down please. My mantra I found was: this is me, deal with it or leave. It's not something for everyone but for me it was you can't change people, but you can show them the way and they'll chose if they change or not. So I showed them my gender my preference and if they chose not to accept it was on them not me and if they couldn't accept they didn't matter in my my life coz I didn't matter in theirs.

You matter to be seen and heard for you. Find a way to have your voice and identity heard. It takes time but I reckon you'll get there.

Sick of the hate

Aussie Platypus — Tue, 31 May 2022 10:22:36 GMT

Sorry for the delay in relying.

school was ok, I gently reminded the teacher who mis gendered me and they apologised. They didn’t mis gender me the rest of the class so that was reassuring that it wasn’t intentional.

I don’t know anyone personally, my mum did mention that she was impressed with Elliot Page’s transition which made me double take. Mum has been a work in progress.

I met my new psyh. Yesterday, she is fascinated in my transition as she has never had a trans client before. I think she’s going to be supportive and helpful.

i Have reread the replies to this post quite a few times to give me the courage to keep fighting so thank you to everyone who has posted!

I think that’s all I have to update atm.

thanks from Platypus!