topic Liberation - no more online apps and websites in Sexuality and gender identity

Liberation - no more online apps and websites

Paul — Mon, 30 May 2016 21:05:44 GMT

Hi everyone,

It's taken me about 10 cycles of installing apps to try and find someone nice, then getting really upset and "pushing my big red trigger button". Painful lessons driven by the need to find someone to cuddle up to and talk.

Of course there are other ways to meet people, but as we all know it's difficult to leave the house sometimes so online dating etc makes some sense.

I got sick of being ignored (3% hit rate on returned greetings)

I got sick of people lying when I challenge them on why they didn't say hello back

I got sick, it became almost obsessive and a big fat trigger for me.

I'm sure sites and apps work for some people - awesome, just not me.

What have your experiences been?

Paul

Liberation - no more online apps and websites

marcus_c — Mon, 30 May 2016 22:39:43 GMT

Hi Paul, I agree with you. After my breakup, I instinctively reloaded some of the apps (I hadn't had them on my phone during the past 8 months of my whatever-that-was relationship, he never deleted them, but that's another story). As soon as I opened them up, I just felt rushing waves of nausea and anxiety. I think part of that was because I was terrified of seeing him pop up (or maybe I was looking for that, I don't know).

Anyway, regardless of the wounds of a breakup being fresh, I just looked at the sea of faces, most of whom just seemed to be wanting cheap easy sex and I got really depressed.

I have used apps to find friends, dates and yes sex in the past but I don't think they're for me any longer. Does my head in.

Liberation - no more online apps and websites

Gruffudd — Tue, 31 May 2016 10:01:12 GMT

I think liberation about says it all.

I suspect that I am more responsive in person than in text anyway, so would be in the group that doesn't reply back effectively.

The whole sea of faces is a bit depressing. Living in a small town where we have all kind of have a history with everyone on there it has turned into a gay chat application and a little ridiculous.

Trouble is the people I actually want to meet have ditched these things, and are not in the pubs with the humpy noise anyway, so I'll have to find another way.

Rob.

Liberation - no more online apps and websites

Paul — Tue, 31 May 2016 21:22:12 GMT

Rob, two words. Last one is "up"

P x

Liberation - no more online apps and websites

Gruffudd — Wed, 01 Jun 2016 10:20:58 GMT

Sorry Paul, what was the first word?

Liberation - no more online apps and websites

Paul — Wed, 01 Jun 2016 20:59:05 GMT

Meet?

Liberation - no more online apps and websites

Gruffudd — Thu, 02 Jun 2016 08:41:01 GMT

Ahhh, oops, I should have thought of that.

Liberation - no more online apps and websites

justinok — Tue, 14 Jun 2016 04:30:00 GMT

Hope this doesn't come across as a hijack of the thread, but I really can't get this off my mind today.

It's now coming out in the news that the Orlando killer was on some apps and had a profile. The thought that there are psychopath stalkers lurking on our dating apps just makes me feel sick. Do we have any safe spaces anymore?

Liberation - no more online apps and websites

pipsy — Tue, 14 Jun 2016 05:30:47 GMT

Hi Paul, Not sure which Paul I'm talking to. I've found the best way to meet someone is not to actually look. Okay, sounds strange, weird even. I 'logged' on to dating sites, was sent heaps of profiles, all over Qld. Had a read, studied them, no-one seemed to have that special 'something'. Decided I was going to spend the rest of my life alone. Made up my mind I was happy, wasn't but had to accept (believe). Then I met someone quite unexpectedly. Not online, someone I actually knew, but never expected. We just 'clicked', so it can happen. When you're consciously looking, they're just not there, then you stop and whammo, there they are. We're taking it slow, careful, building.

Lynda

Liberation - no more online apps and websites

Paul — Tue, 14 Jun 2016 09:00:44 GMT

Thanks Lynda.

I'm the Paul you've met and I have the stripy bus. Other Paul has a regular bus.

Paul x

Liberation - no more online apps and websites

pipsy — Tue, 14 Jun 2016 09:36:11 GMT

Gotcha

Lynda

Liberation - no more online apps and websites

Gruffudd — Tue, 14 Jun 2016 13:00:52 GMT

Hi there Justin,

I don't think there ever has been anywhere completely safe, at the same time though, I am learning that even in the darkest times or the most hostile places there are allies. I am not surprised that the technology gets used in this way to be honest. I think we might be well placed as a community to tackle this, we have experience in living full lives in the context of all the risks. I am encouraged by both sides of politics standing up against hate speech.

Rob.