topic Old, bald, fat, and ugly... in Sexuality and gender identity

Old, bald, fat, and ugly...

Gruffudd — Tue, 24 Nov 2015 11:14:46 GMT

My image of myself could be better.

I have really lacked confidence unless wearing a hat since I became noticeably bald at the age of 20. It is the horse shoe of hair type of baldness, I feel like the light reflects of my head and it is all anyone sees as it blinds them, and they think of me as being old and inept or sick. The last decade has seen me put on about 15kg so that I am at the top end of the healthy weight range (it won't kill me) and overtime I sit in the car the seat belt fits under a roll of fat. I can't see myself without at least a tshirt to cover it and it can't hide the problem. I'm not getting any younger either, it seems that I am positively middle aged right down to being able to buy the car that I actually wanted when I was at university. And ugly speaks for itself really...

OK had my whinge. Thanks.

Old, bald, fat, and ugly...

white knight — Tue, 24 Nov 2015 12:02:31 GMT

Hi Gruffudd,

I'm 59yo and although I've had periods in my life when younger eg military, prison service etc when I was fit, I haven't had such a long period of commitment to the gym as I have this year. My wife and I drive 22ksm to our nearby town 3 times a week to do one solid hour of treadmill and exercises. I'm 130 kgms and for 5 months I haven't lost any weight but, I'm fit and happier and the weight loss will come.

As for appearances I have noticed in my travels that its all in the personality. If you show your humourous side and not be serious too often then people don't care at all. Besides we aren't all perfect. You've heard all this before I'm sure, but its true.

Attend some motivation lectures- it will work wonders.

Tony WK

Old, bald, fat, and ugly...

Gruffudd — Wed, 25 Nov 2015 11:06:15 GMT

I think it is interesting, I know all the self worth stuff is there, but it is so quickly undone when it comes to hair. Perhaps there is vanity in the equation.

Old, bald, fat, and ugly...

Banjoman — Thu, 26 Nov 2015 10:03:26 GMT

Hey guys,

I'm also over weight by 23kg according to my doctor. I cringe whenever I look at photos of myself. I also don't know why I keep picturing myself as that young fit man but every time I walk past the mirror I see a large stranger with bad teeth. Vanity can easily overtake wisdom when one is faced with a mirror.

I starting going for long walks and I got myself a rowing machine.

Old, bald, fat, and ugly...

white knight — Thu, 26 Nov 2015 15:00:47 GMT

Hi Gruffudd,

Something might surprise you. When a teenager long hair was in. Hippy days it was late 1960's early 1970's. But my hair was think and if grown long was like a motown singer. Afro. I desperately tried to grow it long, cobed it forever it seemed, gels, brylcreem etc. And by midday it sprang out. I was taunted, names like "jex" or "wire brush" were forever etched in my brain and tear ran freely every day.

Justice has a strange way of working. In my case my thick hair remains full and short at age 59. So I hear you and know full well how hurtful this topic is. You really need however to accept this like any other hangup we all have. Worry is non productive. Appearance is skin deep and so on. You know the theory.

Tony WK

Old, bald, fat, and ugly...

Paul — Fri, 27 Nov 2015 03:23:42 GMT

From the picture you had up before the cartoon I think you're very handsome! From the replies you give to people I think you're very beautiful.

Paul x

Old, bald, fat, and ugly...

Neil_1 — Tue, 08 Dec 2015 03:00:45 GMT

Hi there gruffudd

Hair – to have or to have not.

Quick side digression to a Seinfeld episode, where a guy that Elaine was dating (Kurt) shaved his head due to when he used to swim; then Elaine saw a picture of him when he “had hair” and she said, “So I could be dating that hair?”; so turned out that Kurt tried to grow it back, only to find that from having a shaved head, the hair growing back revealed, he was going bald!

I’m receding and also have a lot of greys. So much so, that for a long while now, I’ve shaved the sides and back of my head and leave a little on top. Not like a mo-hawk or anything, as I usually keep the stuff left reasonably short anyway.

So perhaps getting a good set of clippers and getting that part of your growth shaved back – to create a bit of a different or new look? As a possibility? Not sure of your age now, I earlier this year raised my bat to the crowd when I turned 50 – so thought, why not have a different look with the old hair dept. Mind you, during the years I used to colour my hair a fair bit also. Was doing the old Colin Funky Miller (those cricket tragics will understand that) and had orange, red, caribbean crush, blonde, streaks – oh boy, just writing about it now, no wonder I had no luck with the ladies! 😉 😉

Will send this now and if anything, I hope it produced at least a small smile for you.

Kind regards

Neil