topic Newbie here in Young people

Newbie here

TackCape — Wed, 22 Feb 2017 15:49:57 GMT

I've been having a rough time for a while and want to start looking for help and people to talk to

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geoff — Wed, 22 Feb 2017 16:24:40 GMT

hello TC, welcome to the site and thanks for posting your comment, although it's short, but this forum is an anonymous place for people who want to vent, so we don't know you and unless you decide to display your photo then no one knows what you look like or any idea of who you are.
I hope that you feel as though you can trust us. Geoff.

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romantic_thi3f — Wed, 22 Feb 2017 21:20:07 GMT

Hey TackCape,

Welcome to the forums and thanks for reaching out.

I'm glad that you decided to join the forums; there's so many different people here and lots that you can talk to. Did you want to share a bit more about what's going on for you? You're in a safe space.

If you don't, that's cool too - you may just want to look around some of the forums or search key words about what topics you might like to read about.

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TackCape — Thu, 23 Feb 2017 06:54:47 GMT

Yeah for a while I've been feeling empty/bored/sad for no reason and every now and then it gets worse. Sometimes it helps me write song lyrics or poems that I keep to myself. Lately though I've started my second year in Uni and I get stressed out and overwhelmed by going to class which in turn makes me more stressed and overwhelmed and I don't know what to do

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romantic_thi3f — Thu, 23 Feb 2017 22:44:16 GMT

Hi TackCape,

Thanks for your post.

I appreciate you deciding to share what's going on for you and I hope that we can help you out a little bit. I'm sorry that you're struggling and Uni can be a difficult time for a lot of people.

How long have you been feeling this way? Have you talked to anyone about it?

Ultimately to help you manage feeling this way I think it would help to know the whys even though that's easier said than done sometimes. Often Uni's tend to have school counsellors and student support staff on site, which can be really helpful. You could possibly see them or even talk to your GP about it to better understand why this is happening.

Uni in itself can be pretty stressful and there's a lot of things that make it stressful; whether it's struggling to understand the content, meeting deadlines, social groups, writing exams and reports, fear of failure or maybe not being sure that this is the right course for you. Other times Uni can be stressful but just because the rest of our life is pretty stressful whether thats health, family, friends or anything else that's going on in your life right now. The more that you can pinpoint what it is about Uni that's overwhelming the easier it can get to try and manage it.

I'm really glad that you're being able to write song lyrics and poems. That can be a great way to express yourself especially if you're feeling so overwhelmed. Maybe there's something in what you've written that can help you understand why you might be struggling so much. Of course you don't have to share them with anyone; they can be such a personal thing - and anyway to express yourself in a creative outlet is such a good thing.

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TackCape — Fri, 24 Feb 2017 13:31:02 GMT

It probably started when I moved states in 2013 which at the time is understandable but it just never went away. And I want to talk about it with friends but when I try I just freak out and can't do it. I guess that's also the reason I'm afraid to go to counseling. I was forced to have a meeting once and it's hard to open up face to face without breaking down for no reason

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geoff — Fri, 24 Feb 2017 18:02:02 GMT

hi TC, there are a couple of issues that are bothering you, those that you have mentioned, and can I ask you why you moved states, because for me having to move house makes me have a relapse, I hate it, because it unsettles me and disrupts my routine and try and avoid it as much as I can, but as I'm renting this is out of my hands.
Being at uni can be very stressful and as Romantic_thi has said there are counsellors, however this then adds another problem onto the other two, but you should never worry about breaking down, because I'm 62 and a few years ago when I was seeing my psychologist I often cried in front of her, that's why there is always a tissue box sitting on the desk, because there are so many people who do the same.
Perhaps write down on a piece of paper what you are worried about so you can hand it over to the counsellor, rather than having to say what you really want to, this will ease any pressure, and never ever be afraid of crying, because this only shows them how upset you are.
The other point is have you considered deferring uni for a year, because what worries me now is that it seems as though you are struggling and need some urgent attention.
People sometimes feel ashamed to be depressed and then feel guilty but you didn't choose being like this, as this illness will affect anyone who feels as though life is tough.
It might be easier to visit your doctor to start off with, and maybe you could google the 'K-10' test which will rate your level of depression and then tell your doctor what score you get. Geoff.

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romantic_thi3f — Fri, 24 Feb 2017 23:20:34 GMT

Hey TackCape,

Thanks for your post.

It can be incredibly scary to open up to people, and I'm guessing since you haven't opened up to too many people you're probably feeling pretty alone in what you're experiencing. Whenever we open up we are never quite sure of how they might react, how they might think of you or even if we can 'pull ourselves together'.

What is it that scares you about opening up?

One thing that I've noticed from my own experiences is that friends can already kind of tell that you're struggling by the way you talk and act; there are often little changes in behaviour that we don't even notice we're showing like being withdrawn or just slumping our shoulders. So telling them might not even be a surprise.

How long have you known your friends? Are you close with them?

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TackCape — Sat, 25 Feb 2017 13:15:00 GMT

Thanks, I just took the test and I'll try to implement your advice

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TackCape — Sat, 25 Feb 2017 13:25:04 GMT

I've only known my friends that I see regularly for under a year so we're not super super close. And I don't know what scares me about opening up to them. I did go back and look at the poems and songs and it's both shed some light as well as made me scared because a lot of it talks about loneliness, being broken, death, emptyness, abyss type stuff while before I was writing about hope and aiming for the stars

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romantic_thi3f — Mon, 27 Feb 2017 22:42:28 GMT

Hi TackCape,

Thanks for your post.

One thing that I've found in opening up to people is that it doesn't have to happen all at once. I've heard of this theory that trust is like a marble jar, and that we only really know if we can trust people with the 'big stuff' by making sure they can handle and hold all the little things.

If you were to open up to your friends and you knew that they did react in the right way, what would you want to say to them? What would you want them to know?

Geoff had some great advice there and I agree with him a lot when he said about crying in front of the therapist. There is nothing to be ashamed about, and you won't be the first or the last person that will have cried in their office. That's kind of the thing about crying - it doesn't really matter if you're 0 or 100, man or woman, nobody is really immune from having feelings.

I think that looking at some of your poems and songs can give you a lot of insight and I'm glad that you did it even though it sounds like it was a bit confronting. Just so you know, there is nothing that you could write about that would be 'bad'. Writing - whether it's journalling, poetry or songs is always a good thing because it helps to get things out of your head and on to paper. It sounds like there are a lot of struggles that has come up like being broken, death and emptiness but I also see a lot of strength since you still have hope for the future. Also the fact that you're posting on here is also a great show of your strength because it is hard to open up and talk to people that you don't know.

I hope that it can get to a point where the idea of hope for the future can outweigh all the fears of seeing a therapist and talking to them.