topic My parents don't believe in depression in Young people

My parents don't believe in depression

LuveniA — Wed, 27 May 2015 10:13:43 GMT

Hi,
This... feels weird to be on this site as I'm not even sure I even have depression but, it's either writing on this forum or keeping silent.
My name is Robyn and currently, I am in high school. I constantly feel sad and worthless all the time, not being able to live up to the expectations of those around me. I cry very easily and my eyes are always sore from just trying to hold back tears each day. My parents don't believe in depression and think it's just the fact that I'm not bothered to do anything. I try really, to get up each day and just go to school, tutoring and homework, it's just, I have no motivation, even saying out what I need to finish out loud is pointless. Then I start to believe that I can't do the work up to a good standard and just start thinking about sleeping 'permanently', thinking how nice that I could be at peace forever. I don't want to go the doctor because my mum will think I'm just stupid and irrational. So am I really just pathetic, look for attention around me or is the possibility of me being depressed real?
Thank you very much for reading this. Have a nice day.
Robyn

beyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

My parents don't believe in depression

white knight — Wed, 27 May 2015 10:28:39 GMT

Hi LuveniA, welcome

If there was no such thing as depression they'd be no need for Beyond Blue, no need for depressive medication, no need for countless books on the topic and no need for half the doctors and most of the psychiatrists. Perhaps that is an answer for your parents. However I dont think you are going to succeed in getting their support.

Is there a school counsellor you can approach? just an idea

Can you attend your doctor without your parents knowing?

What I'm afraid of is, if you do have depression, you dont get the help you need. This could have serious ramifications for the short and long term.

Among other illnesses I have dysthymia and was constantly crying as a tennager. I spent 45 years in that state. It wasnt till 2009 at 53 yo that I was diagnosed and given medication. It changed my life and I'm so much better now.

Take care. Tony WK

My parents don't believe in depression

HA1 — Wed, 27 May 2015 10:28:56 GMT

Hi LuveniA

Welcome! You should not feel weird about being on this site. You have done the right thing to reach out to others, especially if as you say your parents don't believe in depression. It can impact on you in many ways including lack of motivation , sadness and negative thoughts.

Not sure how old you are, but you should make sure that you get to speak to a GP in the first instance, or maybe even the school counsellor. You might also do the depression/anxiety K10 test which you can find on this site under the tab Get Support and then Get Started Now. Print out the results and take it to the GP or show your parents.

So, ask your parents to take you to see a GP or, alternatively, make your own appointment (and bring the K10 test).

Please get back to us here if you have any other questions, but otherwise, keep in touch.

Take care

My parents don't believe in depression

Vegetarian Marshmallow — Wed, 27 May 2015 16:13:21 GMT

So you have no motivation - should you? That is, is there a reason - for yourself - to do these things you're "supposed" to do? Do you want to do well in your studies for some reason? Do you have the goal of becoming a carrot designer, a tree cleaner, or whatever? Or are you just doing what other people expect you to do? Because that'll kill anyone's motivation.

My parents don't believe in depression

white knight — Thu, 28 May 2015 05:54:22 GMT

Hi again Luvenia

Odins beard has a very good point.

When I joined the RAAF I joined as a radio technician when I really wanted to join as a aircraft mechanic. When I mentioned this to my mother at the time she demanded I not become "a grease monkey" and hence went into radio and failed as I had zero motivation in that field.

Think about that.

Tony WK

My parents don't believe in depression

LuveniA — Sat, 13 Jun 2015 08:28:20 GMT

Well originally, I wanted to do really well in my studies but now that I think of it, I lost my drive/motivation when we moved 2 and a half years ago. I think after the move, my mother started to drastically raise her expectations of what she wanted me to achieve. I think that I lost it over time because I wasn't able to cope with her constant expectations and the consequences of if I did fail. I apologise for the extremely delay in my response, high school for me nowadays, is rather time consuming and challenging.

Have a nice evening.

My parents don't believe in depression

luckycharm — Sun, 14 Jun 2015 16:21:29 GMT

Hey LuveniA, I have a pretty similar story to you. I became extremely depressed in high school, and for a while I tried talking to my mum about it and asked for help but her attitude was very much "suck it up".

When I turned 18 I could take myself to the doctor without a parent and that's exactly what I did. Not sure how old you are, but until you're legally an adult, some things that got me through the years was writing things down. What most people need is a platform to get it all out, so write it down in a journal you keep, or just paper you can throw away, up to you (or get a tumblr haha).

If you have a school counsellor/chaplain/nurse/whatever, definitely go and see them, or talk to a teacher you like, so someone in the school has an idea you're not doing so well, especially when your work is impacted.

In my experience, and I hope this doesn't come across too negatively, but parents aren't perfect and when they aren't understanding or accepting of things like mental health, trying to get them involved at this stage (and being rejected) might just make you feel worse and create resentment.

Create some goals, if academic goals aren't your number 1 right now, think about where you'd like to live, the kind of house you'd like to live in after school, goals about lifestyle and WHO you'd like to be can really be a big push to get through times like this. There's also online services from eheadspace and reachout that could be good when you're feeling really down and need someone to actually talk to.

Rant over! I hope that helps a little!

My parents don't believe in depression

RichardMan_1991 — Mon, 15 Jun 2015 15:40:59 GMT

Hi LuveniA,

I see some other people have replied to your post, but I thought I share something too.

I can emphasise with this. My parents didn't understand the reality of depression until it was almost too late.

From the time I was a child I was always told to grow up and act my age, and if I didn't I was seen as lazy or misbehaving ("just like any other teenager"). Unfortunately, because of my parents' beliefs, I never believed in depression either. This prevented me from seeking help for a long time.

It sucks, but often our families cannot help us, despite the fact that they are the ones who know us best and love us most.

By what you have said, there are signs of poor mental health and should seek help if you have not done so already. A school counsellor is probably the first place to go for a student.

I wish you all the best. And just remember that you may come across roadblocks along the way, but don't give up 🙂

My parents don't believe in depression

pipsy — Tue, 16 Jun 2015 03:43:59 GMT

Hi all. Just to add, I too suffered from severe depression. I had alcoholic father, workaholic mother, abusive brother (I mean abusive in the worst way). I was told by uncaring mother when I was 12 that she tried to abort me when she knew she was pregnant. I went through years of self-hate, countless suicide attempts etc. My mum even slept with my first boyfriend (nice - not). Okay, now I've 'thrown' all that rubbish away (years of help - therapy). No contact whatsoever with abusive brother. Parents are now dead, so are my problems. They died long before my parents. I decided years ago, no matter what my families expectations are of me, mine are what count. I'm the only one in charge of me, they had their chance and 'blew' it. No matter who or what you are, you can't please everyone, as long as you're happy with your decisions and they're right for you, that's the main thing. Not everyone can be a rocket scientist or prime minister, you get one chance at life. If you hurt someone unintentionally or intentionally, own up and accept the consequences of your actions. Someone is always going to be upset with your life decisions, but that's life, anyway. You have to be happy with you, you live with you 24/7. You may have spouse/kids, if they're happy with you, that's the main thing.

Best wishes, all.

Pipsy.

My parents don't believe in depression

Vegetarian Marshmallow — Mon, 22 Jun 2015 12:09:38 GMT

What do you think those consequences will be, if you fail?

Just basically echoing luckycharm here, but different wording might be useful, who knows. I know it's hard to disentangle yourself from the pressure put on you by parents, when you're living with them. When every day as soon as you come home, you can just *feel* "your-parents-ness". As time goes on and you become more independent (learn life skills, get your own source of income, your own house, people other than your parents who you can ask support from), you'll feel that less. It might still *be* there, coming from them, but it won't matter to you. So try to look forward to that time, and take steps towards it.

My parents don't believe in depression

crosec — Thu, 26 Apr 2018 03:19:29 GMT

I am currently in high school as well. I told my parents that I felt exactly how you feel, worthless, constantly upset and not good enough for anything. Mum said "I'll take you to a doctor and you can make up whatever and get whatever result you want". She doesn't believe that I need help. It's getting really hard to deal with and I don't know what to do because I'm only 13. I can't go see a doctor by myself. I feel absolutely hopeless and really want to do a proper test. I've only done computer ones, even the ones on this website and they all say severe depression seek medical advice. Please someone help because I am out of ideas.

My parents don't believe in depression

Birdy77 — Thu, 26 Apr 2018 06:13:42 GMT

Hello crossed,

I am so sorry to hear you are feeling like this.

It's great you've reached out here on the forums, and you are among friends here, we will listen to you.

The thread you've posted on is rather old, and I think you'd be better posting a new thread of your own ... you will get more replies and people will see you are new here.

Can you go to the main forum page and click on 'Start new thread', and post something similar to what you've written here, gentle people will reply to you.

Take care crisec and hope you can start a new thread.

🌻birdy

My parents don't believe in depression

Birdy77 — Thu, 26 Apr 2018 06:19:24 GMT

Crosec,

I am so sorry I misspelt your name - twice! My autocorrect thinks it knows best.

Again, I'm sorry.

🌻birdy