topic First steps to seeking help in Young people

First steps to seeking help

InBetaATM — Sun, 24 Jan 2016 11:26:13 GMT

I called a helpline for the first time today and the lovely lady on the phone suggested I see my GP about getting a referral to a psychologist.

This is the first time I've openly asked for help so I wanted to know a bit more about the whole process. How open am I expected to be? It's really hard for me to talk about my feelings in person because I'm a 22 year old man and all the males in my family are big tough blokes who have put me down for trying to talk about how I feel.

How much help have psychologists been for you? Is it worth trying? How do I talk to my GP about getting a referral?

Any help or information would be appreciated.

First steps to seeking help

White_Rose — Sun, 24 Jan 2016 12:37:28 GMT

Hello InBetaATM

Welcome to Beyond Blue. Interesting name you have chosen. Does it mean something specific? I'm not very good interpreting initials.

The usual way of being referred to a psychologist is through your GP. It works like this. Your GP has a chat with you to work out what difficulties you have and who will be the best person to help you. Sometimes the GP can make a diagnosis such as depression or anxiety. These are the most common mental illnesses for those needing to see a psychologist.

The GP writes up a mental health plan for you and a referral to a psychologist. The plan gives you six Medicare subsidized visits to the psych, with a further four visits after a review. You may need to pay part of the cost but it is greatly reduced as Medicare picks up the greater part of the tab. In some instances the psych may bulk bill for their services.

At the end of the ten sessions the psych will decide, with you, if you need further visits. You will need to pay for these. If you have private medical insurance to cover these visits you can make a claim for reimbursement, but this will be less than the Medicare rebate. The amount varies and the total amount payable will depend on your private cover arrangements.

You need to be completely open with your GP about why you have an appointment with him/her. Think about the phone call you made to the helpline and the things you talked about. I suggest you write these down to help you remember them. This is what you need to tell your GP. Have you felt your life is worthless, that you are worthless? Can't do anything, feel tired and sad all the time. Feel panic about going anywhere, don't want to talk to anyone. How long have you felt like this and how bad has it been. Tell the GP you have these feelings and any different thoughts you have. Your GP will take it from there. Tell the GP about your call to the helpline and the recommendation.

Your doctor will not tell you to "man up" or put you down because you want to talk about how you feel. Believe me they have heard all sorts of stories. It's not their job to tell you how to feel or not feel.

Scroll to the bottom of the page and click on the topics under The Facts. This will take you to information about depression etc. which I think you will find helpful. You can send for this information or download it.

Make an appointment with the psych and talk about those things that bother you. It gets easier as you go along.

Mary

First steps to seeking help

Zeal — Sun, 24 Jan 2016 12:40:04 GMT

Hi In Beta,

I'm glad you've found the courage to call a helpline. Her advice is spot-on for improving your mental health. I'm a 22 year old female, and I am very used to talking openly about my feelings now. I was diagnosed with OCD (anxiety) at 13, and have been to psychiatrists, psychologists and various other health professionals over the years. In the end, my GP and one of the psychiatrists had the most positive impact. I also saw a great psychologist in my mid-teens, though I wasn't as receptive to change back then.

It can be helpful to write down a list of topics/issues/thoughts you wish to talk about at your GP appointment. This way, if you struggle to find the words, you'll have a prompt. This will also take the pressure off yourself to remember everything! At the start of the appointment, you could tell your GP that you are here about your mental health, and could even show him/her the list! You could write at the top of your list page: ask about referral. At a psychologist appointment, they are professionally trained to help you talk about what's bothering you. They are there to make sharing your greatest worries and thoughts manageable. I think psychologists are worth trying.

Good luck with making the appointment, and maybe even with writing a list 🙂

Best wishes,

First steps to seeking help

InBetaATM — Sun, 24 Jan 2016 13:01:15 GMT

Thank you. I rarely see my GP so I don't really understand how to go about that sort of thing, your information was quite helpful.

To answer your question about the name, the ATM stand for at the moment.

First steps to seeking help

InBetaATM — Sun, 24 Jan 2016 13:17:28 GMT

Thank you for the reply, a list sounds like a great idea.

Does having a psychologist make things easier to manage? I've dealt with a lot on my own so I'm unsure about how much help seeing one will be.

First steps to seeking help

White_Rose — Sun, 24 Jan 2016 22:00:42 GMT

Talking with a psychologist can be very helpful. It depends on how much you want to become well again and the skills of the psychologist. Mainly I believe it's up to you. You must be willing to talk about yourself, listen to comments made by the psych and make a genuine effort with the suggested activities.

Join in the discussion with your own thoughts and idea. A psych does not have a magic wand to make you well again. Often it is hard work to change the way you think and act. It can be painful at times as you gain a deeper understanding of yourself. Is it worthwhile? It depends on you and what you want for your life.

In general we all deal with our own 'stuff'. It's when we have not learned coping mechanisms for life's difficulties that the insight and support of someone else can be a tremendous help. Will you find things easier to manage? Probably not in the short term. You need to establish a working relationship with the psych and the psych need to develop an understanding of you. You will discover aspects of yourself that you may not like and others that make you happy because you did not realise were part of your makeup. It's a mixed bag.

At the end of the day it's always up to you manage your own life. A good psych will help you to understand yourself, understand what triggers your difficulties, why, for example you get upset when the other men in your family put you down and the effect of this.

Many positives, but it is up to you to make it work.

Mary

First steps to seeking help

Red_ball — Mon, 25 Jan 2016 09:40:56 GMT

Hi I have never posted on a forum like this before but felt I had to. I have felt really miserable and sad the last two weeks and I I know this is a typical time to note as some depression. I went on a trip a couple months ago and tried moving different places in my home town but I am at my parents place now (bc financially) and we have been rehashing the past and I have changed to an almost blame mentality as living there. I feel it is unhelpful for me to stay there as I can't help but return to old behaviour, I am looking for places to stay regularly. The main point is I feel really low and like I can't maintain hope myself. I have stomach churning, tired (also due to period) and anxious(sometimes) I wish I could just feel joy in the wonder of things/life like I did when I was travelling at times. I know I need to move forward (and this might involve moving to another country) but I don't want help through forms of medication or psychology. I have been involuntarily prescribed medication and have not since been able to get off it, I saw a psychologist but found it unhelpful (I went regularly too) I want to tell someone like a gp but don't know what help to get. I don't have many female friends and this could be the reason I feel empty too. Do I tell the friends I know I may be depressed? What is my first step?

cheers

alana

First steps to seeking help

hope4joy — Mon, 25 Jan 2016 11:10:26 GMT

Hi Mary,

your description of how therapy works is one of the best i've read - thank you.

Hi InBetaATM - I think Mary is spot on, what you put in to therapy is what you get out, and at the end of the day it is us who choose what we dwell on and how we use our time. Personally I've found therapy very supportive. Frustrating too, and boring and humorous and all sorts of things. But its good having someone on my side who is a personal life coach of sorts to help me navigate the really challenging difficult and distressing parts of life/ moods etc, and help me try to live a more contended life. There are quite a few articles on the net about questions to ask a prospective therapist, and also things to look for when asking yourself 'is this therapist good for me'. Just type those types of questions in google and heaps of info will come up.

Kind wishes, Christina

First steps to seeking help

InBetaATM — Mon, 25 Jan 2016 14:16:28 GMT

Thanks White Rose. I'll be sure to put in 110%. You have been super helpful and I'm really grateful for that.

First steps to seeking help

hhmc — Wed, 27 Jan 2016 10:49:43 GMT

Hello Alana,

I'm quite new to this forum too! Like you, I don't have a lot of girl friends to talk to about my own emotional issues, and I'm not the kind of 'sex in the city' gal who feel like talking openly about my struggle and depression anyway. I have been feeling quite low these past few months due to a lot of big changes in life, the biggest of which is separately with a long-term partner. I'm also contemplating quitting my job to do something new, while trying to get rid of skin picking disorder which has been bothering me for over 13 years ago.

I have started seeing a psychologist last week to sort out my many issues. You mentioned you've seen one psychologist before, is that right? My own experience and stories I've heard from others is that you need to find a psychologist who clicks with you. The first one I saw a couple of months ago just didn't click. I feel that she's a bit judgmental and insensitive about my feelings (she kept saying it's normal to feel sad and discounted that fact that I thought I'm depressed. She made me feel very silly turning up to her office.) and that's why I stopped seeing her. The second one I met last week was really nice and I feel that I could talk to her openly without being judged. So my amateur suggestion would be to give it another go to find a psychologist who could work with you. It may take some time, but it's totally worth it to have someone you can feel safe to talk about your own issues with.

I'm quite introverted and definitely not a big talker about myself, let alone my troubles. So I tend to bottle things up a bit too much until it's too much to bear, and then I became depressed, feel hopeless, and gradually found it harder and harder to feel joy or to have a genuine laugh and be happy. Communicating with people (through typing or talking out loud) really does help you feel better, even though you may not think that way. Make use of this forum to express your feelings or try to find another psychologist to talk things through. There are also many other resources online that may help you feel better. But first and foremost, do talk (or type) to someone about it.

I hope my words are helping in making you feel less low. I've been there and I know how horrible it is to feel empty and lonely. But you're not alone! xx Take care

Coco

First steps to seeking help

White_Rose — Sat, 30 Jan 2016 02:04:50 GMT

Dear Alana

So sorry you have not had a reply to your post. Partly this is because the BB server has been down, on and off, for the past day or so. I'm hoping the problem is now fixed.

I find my GP is an incredible person. She is amazing with mental health problems. When she took three months leave last year she"handed me over" so to speak to another GP in the practice. This 2nd GP is equally as helpful. I am feel so grateful and blessed to have these two ladies care for me and I wonder what I have done to deserve this. They are extremely caring doctors and want everyone to become well. I am fortunate to be one of their patients.

So make a long appointment with your GP and have a good chat about the things that bother you.

I am unsure what you mean in your post

I have changed to an almost blame mentality as living there. I feel it is unhelpful for me to stay there as I can't help but return to old behaviour,

Can you tell us a little more about this? Do you mean you feel you are being blamed for something or you blame your parents for the way your life is at the moment? Also, why have you been prescribed medication you cannot get off? Forgive me if I am being too inquisitive and please only disclose those things you are comfortable about.

I saw a psychiatrist for eight years. He was not helpful but I needed the help of my GP to be able to stop going. Sounds stupid doesn't it? I was actually terrified what would happen if I left although I tried to go. So no more psychiatrists. I do see a psychologist and I find him remarkably helpful. So I suppose it's the luck of the draw.

Many people say they try several psychologists before 'clicking' with someone. You need that feeling of mutual respect and security. You also need to be able to say what you think and for it to be accepted as valid, the way you view your life and the world. It may be that you change your view as the therapy continues. It's partly because we are all growing and changing but we benefit from the objective viewpoint of the psychologist.

I wish I could return to the "good old days" and there were lots of them. It's what keeps me going. I want to be happy, confident, capable and all the other good attributes. I know everyone has their problems at times and copes with these difficulties. My ambition is to learn how to cope without falling apart.

Please keep writing in. You may want to consider starting your thread so that your comments and replies are all in one place and not mixed with InBetaATM.

Mary

First steps to seeking help

InBetaATM — Sun, 31 Jan 2016 08:31:58 GMT

So my appointment to see my GP is tomorrow. I have a lot of mixed feelings. I'm happy that I'm going to see someone about my problems. Nervous cause this is way out of my comfort zone. Scared of failing. Eager to get to a stage in my life when these problems are in the past.

I'm really grateful for all the help and information shared with me.

First steps to seeking help

Zeal — Tue, 02 Feb 2016 00:04:55 GMT

Hi In Beta,

I hope your appointment went well yesterday. Good on you for going ahead with it, despite mixed feelings. You have a great attitude, and this will help you to make progress towards recovery.

Good luck with everything,

First steps to seeking help

InBetaATM — Sun, 14 Feb 2016 04:36:51 GMT

Thank you for your supportive words SM. Unfortunately I didn't get to my appointment because my dad had a stroke the day before the appointment so I had to leave town to go see him.

I will be making another appointment as soon as possible though.

First steps to seeking help

Zeal — Sun, 14 Feb 2016 12:07:32 GMT

Thanks, and you're very welcome! I'm really sorry to hear about your Dad's stroke. He is lucky to have such a supportive person by his side 🙂 I'm very glad you are making another appointment soon 😄

First steps to seeking help

blondguy — Sun, 14 Feb 2016 12:43:36 GMT

Hi InBeta

I have come in late on your post...and I apologise..

I am sorry to read about your dad having a stroke...(and what you have been going through of course)

Please take good care Beta...

Here if you need us (i hope your dad is okay)

Paul