topic First help experiences? in Young people

First help experiences?

demondee — Mon, 18 May 2015 16:51:20 GMT

I've struggled for a long time. Each day feels like forever and I'm tired of it. I know I'm stressed out a lot lately with uni, work and completing my honours project. But at the same time I can't voice how I feel. When I see people face to face I automatically put on my mask and I can never take it off. I never say how I feel. I feel trapped.

There's no one at uni who I can talk to. The counselling service at uni is always full or I am unable to book a time because it'll be my first time. My GP is usually booked out 2 weeks in advance and I have this weird thing where I feel better if I have an appointment with her (I've only been twice - she's a new GP for me) and that goes for anyone. I think it's a defense mechanism. And there's a part of me that thinks that if I can't even tell my GP about what I've been feeling, then what is the point? It would be so hard to start any form of talk therapy with someone.

So what was your first experience of getting help? Did you have similar difficulties? If so, how did you overcome it?

First help experiences?

Chris_B — Tue, 19 May 2015 00:54:06 GMT

Hi demondee, welcome to the forums.

Depression and anxiety can be very isolating, but there are many of us here on the forums who know what you're going through. Below are some other threads from uni students who you might like to reach out to:

Struggling with uni, work and pressure

Really struggling

Getting help and uni struggles

Struggling to believe I will get better

Our Staying Well forum is another good source of threads on coping strategies.

Also, have a look at The Desk, it's an online beyondblue resource designed for uni students and has lots of tips and coping strategies.

Speaking to your GP is a good idea. If you think you're going to struggle with the words to explain how you're feeling, perhaps consider printing out your post and taking it in. Your GP will be able to provide you with a mental health care plan and a referral to a psychologist too.

First help experiences?

Doolhof — Tue, 19 May 2015 11:42:26 GMT

Hi Demondee,

Welcome to Beyond Blue and to the community here.

It has been quite some time since I first requested help for my depression.

Recently we moved to a different region, so I had to seek out a new Dr to help and assist me with all my health concerns.

I telephoned the centre and asked the receptionist if she could suggest a Dr who had an interest in mental health issues. You don't need to do this, but it had been suggested to me.

Thankfully I now have a wonderful Dr who I can talk to about anything. I know it is not always easy to do this.

There have been times when I have written stuff down to show to the Dr.

One day I was really down, so I printed out one of those depression surveys you find on the internet and marked down all the points that really upset me. That way the Dr knew exactly what the issues were.

There is a great service here at Beyond Blue where you can use the webchat. I have used it a few times. It works well for me. Or there are always the phone help lines too.

Chris B has also given you some hints, ideas and people you can chat with. Together you may come up with coping strategies and you will learn more as you read the various responses to their posts.

Hope some of this helps.

Cheers for now from Mrs. Dools or Lauren

First help experiences?

demondee — Wed, 20 May 2015 20:07:57 GMT

hey Mrs D.

thank you for your reply. It's really nice to hear someone's first hand experiences. I've thought about writing a letter in case I just cant say it but I don't know what to put in it. There is so much I want to say but don't have the voice for it. and I don't want it to be a long winded not either. Do I just stick to the facts? I know there isn't a right or wrong way but I have no idea where to start.

Thankyou for replying!

First help experiences?

Doolhof — Wed, 20 May 2015 22:41:05 GMT

Hi D,

It is excellent you have manage to write back again. So many people send in one post and then for one reason or another we don't hear from them again. Maybe they find it all to scary or overwhelming. I don't know.

Either way, congratulations for getting back to me and for wanting to move forward with your healing and conquering depression and stress.

Okay, so you can write out your information any way you like, just use your own style. Write what comes into your mind.

You might use dot points like:

. I feel really depressed and stressed out

. I don't go out anymore.

. I avoid my family and friends

.I don't enjoy my usual activities

. I have trouble concentrating

.I'm not sleeping well

.I feel overwhelmed, frustrated, scared, irritable or what ever

. My thoughts are really negative

.I feel tired all the time

.I have headaches and other weird pain.

That might give you an idea of the things you can write down, add what ever is relevant to you.

Okay, so thinking of some of that stuff may add to you feeling down right now, so you need a bit of a boost! You could try one or some of the following:

Write down three things that went well for you today.

Think of a great place you would like to visit one day.

Grab a bottle of water and go for a half hour walk.

Find YouTube videos of animals doing hilarious things and have a laugh.

Read a book

Do a Sudoku puzzle

Weed the garden, or a neighbours garden and give them a surprise!

In other words do something that makes you feel good, that helps to change your mood into something more user friendly and find some positives.

Phone your Dr. and make an appointment and realise your Dr. has seen and heard so much they will understand what you are trying to express to them.

Please let me know how you get on.

Cheers for now from Mrs. D

First help experiences?

demondee — Tue, 26 May 2015 14:59:43 GMT

Hiya Mrs D.

Thanks for sharing your experience and tips! I keep trying to write something but maybe I'll just use your list. I just really wish that asking for help is an easy thing for me. I'm questioning whether I should even try.

thanks. D

First help experiences?

Doolhof — Tue, 26 May 2015 20:32:34 GMT

Hi D,

I can so relate to not asking for help when you need it! Only last year I ended up in hospital for two weeks because I did not ask for help!

I would like to highly encourage you to go and see your Dr. Print out the list I have made and that will be a starting point for you.

You are worth it, you do need to try to make an appointment and then attend. The Dr. will understand how you are feeling.

Please, make an appointment today and take someone with you if you have to, even if they just sit and wait while you chat to the Dr.

I would take you myself if I could! You are worth it!

Wishing you the courage to make your appointment and to go. Hugs to you from Mrs. D

First help experiences?

Anusha — Mon, 01 Jun 2015 14:12:57 GMT

Hi!

This is my first post so I'm not sure if what I'm saying will be very helpful.. I too am a university student, and always found it much easier to internalise everything and pretend that it's all fine. It took a very long time for me to admit that I probably needed to talk to someone, and even longer to actually make it happen.

At first I was really uncomfortable about the whole process - I barely said anything at the first counselling appointment I went to. The other important thing to remember is that you aren't 'stuck' with the first counsellor you try. I have been to see a couple of different people, and have now found someone I am really comfortable with. This is integral to being able to start breaking down those walls. If you don't feel comfortable with the psychologist you are seeing, it can make the discussions a whole lot harder.

Having a GP that you can make that initial contact with is really important, and they might also be able to recommend some good counsellors in your area. They can also organise Mental Health Care Plans for you, which can make a wider range of psychologists more accessible.

Some other things that have really helped me are:

- Making detailed 'to do' lists that help me keep on top of things and feel a sense of accomplishment

- Regular meditation/breathing exercises (I highly recommend the Smiling Mind App - it has really changed my coping mechanisms)

- Regular exercise (I find yoga and walking to be the most beneficial, but definitely depends on your personal preferences!)

I think most of this is echoing what Chris B and Doolhof have already said, but I thought I'd share my experience just in case, as your experience seems to very closely mirror my own.

Hope everything has been going well for you so far 🙂

First help experiences?

Doolhof — Mon, 01 Jun 2015 20:49:20 GMT

Hi Anusha,

I would just like to welcome you to the community here at Beyond Blue and to thank you for a wonderful post. So many people will benefit from reading the words you have so eloquently written.

Thanks for sharing your story with us. It helps so much to read how other people are coping with their life's journey. It is also a reminder to people like me to make use of the beneficial strategies I have learnt in the past.

I hope you are doing a lot better now and your studies are going well.

Thanks again for sharing!

Cheers for now from Mrs. Dools

First help experiences?

demondee — Tue, 02 Jun 2015 15:59:53 GMT

Hi Anusha,

Thank you for replying and sharing your experience about getting help. It's really good to hear about your experiences as well. I'll keep your tips in my mind about seeing different people if I can start on my journey.

I've booked an appointment for next week. A short one but at least it's a start. I dont think I can talk about this for 30 mins. My GP seems nice but I have no idea how it'll be about this topic. 😛

I will try out some of your tips. Hopefully they'll work for me too. The only thing I find helpful right now is taking photos, so hopefully I can add some more to that list.

I hope your studies are going well too. I know it's coming to the end of semester. We're always here. 🙂

First help experiences?

demondee — Tue, 02 Jun 2015 16:08:41 GMT

Thanks for that reply. That really meant a lot to me. It's one of the patches of sunlight in my dark cold forest. Sydney weather. 😛 It was so cold yesterday that I refused to leave my bed and was a little late for work.

I've booked an appointment. It started off as a 30 min one but I changed it to a 15 min appointment. It's probably not long enough but I don't think I could sit through a long one. It isn't till the end of next week so hopefully I can actually have the courage to attend it.

How are things going with you?

First help experiences?

Doolhof — Wed, 03 Jun 2015 04:04:53 GMT

Hi Ddee,

Congratulations on making your appointment. Once you have this one under your belt so to speak, you will hopefully find it less daunting to attend again.

Sorry to read you are feeling like you are in a dark place right now. Just a question here, do you usually feel worse about life in the winter months generally? There is a recognised condition that some people suffer from in the winter that makes them feel worse about life in general.

It is some sort of seasonal condition. My brain is not dragging up the name for it right now!

I'm near Adelaide and our weather hasn't been too bad lately. I am about to head down to the garden shortly to prune some olive trees, we have over 100 of them and they haven't been touched for years!

We hope to borrow some sheep soon to eat the grass down the back so that is another reason I want to trim up the olive trees, so the sheep can shelter under them.

I've had a few flat moments recently and try to break out of the rut before I become too bogged down. This morning I pushed myself to get to the swimming pool by 7.00 a.m. for some hydrotherapy exercises before I started work.

Hope you are travelling along okay. Do you have some strategies in place for when you are struggling?

All the best to you, cheers for now from Mrs. Dools

First help experiences?

demondee — Thu, 04 Jun 2015 11:17:39 GMT

hiya Mrs D,

Oh, no. I usually seem to get worse around the new year cause I dread the new year. It's a reminder that time is continuing to fly by. I used to love the cold but I guess not so much anymore. maybe its because I can actually feel it this time around.

I think I've figured out one way I would just describe how I've been feeling. Lately it's been cold in the shade of the buildings but when you step into the sunlight it's crazy warm. Its like walking in a dark cold forest and there are patches of sunlight which break through the leaves. and you have to keep moving through the forest.

haha, I like the idea of having the sheep cut the grass instead of doing it with a lawn mower. It would be good for the sheep to 😛

How was hydrotherapy? Does it help with things?

I had a better day today. I didnt have to go to uni or work so I just chilled out around the house. Now i've got a tonne of uni work to mush through tonight but oh well.

When i'm really struggling I put on music to distract myself from the thoughts that are upsetting me. I sometimes have to turn it up really loud just to drown them out cause distraction doesnt work. I tend to get away from people and just be on my own. In the end I at least have photography and lying down at a park. Theyre the best two distractions but as soon as theyre over, it's back to the shade. Do you have any good strategies that can last?

I hope things are going okay for you. D ~

First help experiences?

demondee — Thu, 04 Jun 2015 17:09:19 GMT

hey Mrs D,

Oh, i dont think it gets worse during the winter, it's worse during the end of the year, just in time for new years. I usually love the cold but I guess not this year. I think I've figured out one analogy for this thing I'm going through. I've been walking through this cold dark forest for a long time now and the sunlight that breaks through the leaves is warm but scattered. It's been a while since I've found a clearing in the forest.

hehe, having some sheep over for a good feed sounds like fun. How many sheep would you need? And I can't imagine what 100 olive trees look like.

Getting up so early should be commended! I hope you can pull out of the rut. I believe in you.

I don't really have strategies that work at the moment, It's mostly just distraction/procrastination with TV and movies - which makes things worse cause I'm always behind in uni work. Music helps when I'm on the move but sometimes I use that to drown out the thoughts when they get too loud. I really enjoy photography though. I'm really lucky I haven't stopped liking that yet. I'm planning to go to Vivid again today but I'll see. It'll be a busy night with lots of people and it'll be cold so I'm not sure. I really dont like being around people at the moment.

How about you? What strategies do you use?

First help experiences?

Doolhof — Tue, 09 Jun 2015 11:52:46 GMT

Hi D,

I've enjoyed reading your posts. Regarding distractions I suppose I have a few, depends where I am and what I am doing.

My husband doesn't seem to like music much at home anymore and I don't have any ear phones or anything, so at home I do other stuff rather than listen to music.

If my thoughts are getting a bit much and I feel myself becoming stressed, I get out my Sudoku puzzle book and work on a puzzle. I don't find them easy to do, so once I start concentrating, I forget what else I was worrying about earlier.

I like to get out in the garden when I can, that really relaxes me. If I am feeling a little agitated, that is time to rake up the leaves, prune the trees, dig holes or do something else physical.

Just being out in the fresh air, hearing the birds sing, looking at the different colours around me, I really try to see what is out there.

I too like photography and sometimes just take photos in the garden even though I have no plans on ever printing the photos. Just capturing an image is rewarding.

I like to go walking or swimming, that helps me in so many ways. I have a few injuries, so exercise in a swimming pool is good.

Sometimes I go to the library and borrow some books, maybe to read a story or just books with lovely photography, or craft, or about different countries.

I find crocheting to be a good therapeutic thing to do the rhythm of it seems comforting. My knitting is hilarious as I make holes where there shouldn't be any! Ha. Ha.

Sometimes I get out my paints and splash some colour around on paper or a canvas. My art work is certainly no masterpiece, but it doesn't have to be. Some days I enjoy just doodling and colouring in a picture.

One therapist suggested singing when thoughts became too much. The only song I can ever think of is "old McDonald had a farm". I end up having a laugh at myself when I sing that in my head.

I've raved on a little here! Hope you manage to catch up with your Uni work.

All the best to you, from Mrs. D