topic Help me, I'm 14 in Young people

Help me, I'm 14

shelleyxox8 — Mon, 30 Dec 2013 13:47:35 GMT

I have had anxiety for as long as I remember, but this year it has gotten really bad and lately everyday seems even more worse. I'm constantly short of breath, my heart racers a lot, I will let something worry me for over an hour and it could something so small but it's all I can think about, chewing my mouth, having trouble sleeping, stressing heaps.... And more.

It's the holidays and I just want to have fun but my anxiety has gotten so bad and I don't know what to do. I use to faint and stuff so mum took me to the doctor but the medicine just made me dizzy and made it worse, phycologists don't help either 😞

help me

Help me, I'm 14

Suzbj — Mon, 30 Dec 2013 13:55:43 GMT

Hey Shelley,

It is okay. Honestly. You are okay and there are many in your age group feeling the same way. Some handle it by being bullies, others handle it by getting on drugs, others handle it by being invisible. None of those ways of handling it are okay.

Shelley, I want some time to think about how to answer you properly. I will get back to you by this time tomorrow night. I just want you to know that you are okay just as you are and please don't DON'T choose the way-outs I have mentioned above. All of those will get you nowhere quick and make things a hell of a lot worse.

I just want time to give your post the respect and answer that may be helpful to you.

cheers

Suz xx

Help me, I'm 14

Suzbj — Mon, 30 Dec 2013 13:59:58 GMT

Can you give a bit more information? Like how you feel about yourself? How it is at school for you? What makes you panic? Can you remember where the panic started? Is there a trigger that made your world become panicky?

Got your back

Cheers

Suz xx

Help me, I'm 14

shelleyxox8 — Mon, 30 Dec 2013 14:01:32 GMT

Thank you so much for helping me and don't worry I'm not going to choose the bad options.

Help me, I'm 14

Suzbj — Mon, 30 Dec 2013 14:05:21 GMT

I know you are not. You are a strong girl for posting here and asking for help. That tells me you have the strength and fortitude to do anything you want with your life and succeed.

If you can give a bit more information and give me a bit of time I promise - I have yoru back and will help you as much as I can. 🙂

Help me, I'm 14

Suzbj — Mon, 30 Dec 2013 14:07:59 GMT

By the way, I have a grandson who is only two years younger than you! I will help you if you let me 🙂

Help me, I'm 14

shelleyxox8 — Mon, 30 Dec 2013 14:10:26 GMT

Well school isn't very good, I was in year 8 this year and next year I will be in year 10 because I'm in accelerated. I hang out in a group and when it's the group Im accepted but when I just hang out with these two girls they kind of leave me out. ( I moved schools this year because I was bullied at my last school) a lot of the time I have to hang out with just them but when others hang out with us it's so much better. I do good at my work but I feel like my work has to be good. I feel okay about myself I just wish that my anxiety wasn't there.i don't really know what makes me anxious because I could be watching tv or anything and I could get it really bad.

Thanks

Help me, I'm 14

Suzbj — Mon, 30 Dec 2013 14:22:01 GMT

That sux! I will answer you tomorrow night I promise. Meanwhile, what do you think of Katie Perry? I saw a doco on her re her recent hit "Roar". She was gutted and felt totally worthless and wrote a song to try and make herself feel better. Instead of the sad song she expected she wrote "Roar". Listen to that. That is you! You will be okay and I promise I will write to you again tomorrow night!

cheers

Suz xx

Help me, I'm 14

Suzbj — Mon, 30 Dec 2013 14:24:39 GMT

Between now and tomorrow night, think about when you first felt anxious. Try and identify the trigger. Talk tomorrow night xx

Help me, I'm 14

geoff — Mon, 30 Dec 2013 14:39:42 GMT

dear Shelley, this is an elimination process at the moment, so if you don't mind questions and comments will be made to you, so please bear with us, and we will help you.

My good friend Susan has your back and she will get return.

I am just wondering why you feel more comfortable in a larger group is because there is no pressure put on you?

Has there been any peer pressure put onto yourself simply because your in year 10 next year, which means that your a very intelligent child, and this could follow through when your in a group of only 3, whereas in a larger group it's not taken as any concern.

Even watching TV could also that there are ads which could provoke your anxiety.

What excuse did you tell your new class mates for the reason in coming to this new school.

Hang in there as it's early in the morning and most people are still asleep, but you will receive a lot more comments later on. Geoff.

Help me, I'm 14

Suzbj — Mon, 30 Dec 2013 14:45:01 GMT

Hi Geoff,

I remember how tough it was to get out of the comfort zone of your class - the familiar faces and friends and even people who aren't your friends. You learn to deal with whatever you have to deal with. This is a very scary thing for Shelley. While it is a 'reward' as such, she has to deal with a whole new lot of people and feel safe and accepted in that class. And yes, Shelley has mentioned bullying.

We have your back Shelley!

Cheers

Suz xx

Help me, I'm 14

shelleyxox8 — Mon, 30 Dec 2013 22:31:53 GMT

Thank you both so much for taking the time to help me.

In reply to Suz, I don't know what triggered my anxiety in the first place, physcologists have asked me this so many times but it could have been multiple things. I haven't seen my dad since I was 9/10 and I was bullied very badly, in year 6 I was sent threatening notes.

In reply to Geoff, I feel a lot more comfortable in bigger groups. Even if one person joins ( which is usually wht happens) he includes me more, asthe other girls just see me as a loyal friend to fall back on. I would try to just hang out with him but because I'm not in his class and everything that's becomes a bit hard. I'm in the class with the two other girls so they are both in accelerated as well.

The thing is they want me to hang out with them both, but they treat me different. I'm the 'third wheel'. But he treats me different from how he treats them as we'll, his a lot nicer and funnier with me, maybe he sees that they leave me out.

Not sure if any of this was actually helpful......

Help me, I'm 14

Suzbj — Tue, 31 Dec 2013 10:43:56 GMT

Hi Shelley,

I’ve been thinking long and hard about your post and possible alternatives of help. First of all, it sounds like you haven’t had a great experience with the psychologist/s you have seen. Is it possible to try and find another one? It’s so important that you have a relationship of trust with the psychologist or counsellor you are seeing. If you live near a university that offers psychology in their studies, they can often have a psychology practice that is offered to the general public. It may be an option. There is Strengthening Families – they are national. Have you spoken to Kids Helpline which is for 5 – 25 year olds? Their number is 1800 551 800. They also offer web and email counselling. Beyond Blue is available as well on 1300 224 636 and has a web chat from 4pm – 10pm EST. Headspace is another great organisation for young people. Their phone number is 1800 650 890 and they also have an online chat. All of these organisations will have resources and strategies to help you. Being confident in who you are is not easy and the teenage years aren’t easy with so many changes going on. Having your dad leave when you were 9/10 would have been hard. It sounds like this is when the bullying started from what you say in your post. Bullying is never acceptable and bullies often lash out at other people to hide their own insecurities and fears. Reachout.com has information on bullying (googled support for bullying Australia). I think it’s important that you have help and support to help you through your anxiety, to deal with the bullying (which is not your fault – the problem is the bullies not you!). I hope this is helpful and I wish you all the best! You sound so very bright and switched on.

Take care Suz xx

Help me, I'm 14

shelleyxox8 — Tue, 31 Dec 2013 13:28:32 GMT

Thank you so much for your reply, I will look into the websites u listed. I have used kids helpline before when I was bullied badly.

I would like to say that bullying started when I was in year 1 and my mum and dad split up while I was in prep.

i have seen a total of 9 physiologists but they all just say the same things and they don't work.

Again thanks so much. It means so much to me

Help me, I'm 14

geoff — Tue, 31 Dec 2013 14:46:22 GMT

dear Shelley, you poor little one, since year 1 because when you are bullied it always makes you frightened time and time again.

It sounds as though your trying to crawl up a long hill at the moment, but with the appropriate help you will be get there.

Was the kids helpline any good for you and please let us know how you get on with each of these contacts that Susan has given you. Geoff. x

Help me, I'm 14

Neil_1 — Thu, 02 Jan 2014 01:15:39 GMT

Hi Shelley

I’m so pleased that Susan and Geoff are providing support to you here.

Bullying is never easy to deal with, so I’m pleased that you were able to contact a special help line at that time. Can I please ask, is it still occurring or is that awful episode closed now? I so hope that it's finished.

What are some of the things that you really enjoy doing? I’m guessing you’d have some favourite bands, yeah? My daughter is 13 and she’s right into “Imagine Dragons”; so much so, that she’s actually got me listening to them and they’re on my IPOD (along with stacks of other different bands) for when I’m at the gym.

Do you like sports?

My daughter is also crazy about horses … and so wishes she could have one, but unfortunately, our backyard just isn’t quite big enough to have a horse in suburban city backyard!

That’s also disappointing to hear that the psychologists haven’t been overly useful for you … that is a lot to get through. I’m guessing/hoping that your Mum is really supportive for you?

We look forward to hearing back from you Shelley

Kind regards

Neil