topic I need some advice in Young people

I need some advice

I_need_help — Sat, 23 Aug 2014 04:02:54 GMT

Okay, so I don't know where to start but I'm just going to get straight to the point.. I've been struggling for about 6 months now and it's getting to the point where I know this isn't just a phase. Everything has gotten so much worse lately and I honestly think I have depression. My grades have dropped tremendously, I've shut off from everyone and pushed them away, I've lost so much weight, I keep waking up at around 2-3am every morning, I do have thoughts about serious things. My birthdate isn't real and I am under 18. I'm not attention seeking. I really, really need help. But I don't think anyone will take me seriously if my birthdate was real.

I honestly think I have depression. I know what I'm feeling and this isn't right and this isn't just a phase. I cannot tell my parents, I'm not saying this because I don't want to. It's because I CANT. I've tried explaining it to my mum and she gets really angry and says "I'm going to shut down your world if you continue with this silly behavior."

I NEED HELP. My grandmother died 10 months ago and we had a really close bond, I'm not sure if that has anything to do with it. And my dad has had depression for 7 years now. I'm not sure if it has anything to do with genetics either but I REALLY NEED SOME ADVICE.

I can't keep doing this, I think I have depression and I don't want to do this anymore, please, I'm begging for advice.

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I need some advice

AGrace — Sat, 23 Aug 2014 07:55:24 GMT

Hi I need help,

Welcome, and hopefully here you will get the advice you're looking for.

I'm not sure what you're meaning by your birth date not being real? Is this a thought, or a fact? Do you mind me asking how old you are?

In terms of where to next? My advice is that you need to speak with someone, Who that person is, is up to you. A friend will be able to give you support, a student counsellor will give you guidance, and seeing a GP will get you some professional help.

If you do decide to see a GP, you can go on your own. Let them know exactly how you have been feeling, and your inability to get help from your parents. AGP will probably want you to see a Psychologist. If this is the case, by asking for a mental health care plan from the GP, you will receive 10 free sessions to a Psychologist. This way you wont be out of pocket. To see a GP or Psychologist you will need your medicare card.

If you need help finding a GP, there is a list on Beyondblue's website.

I guess I'd like to know also if there is anyone else you can speak with? A sibling, an aunty, or cousin.

If you are having suicidal/self harm thoughts - please address these immediately by contacting Beyondblue or Lifeline.

I hope we will hear more from you.

AGrace

I need some advice

Lameda24 — Mon, 25 Aug 2014 04:32:07 GMT

Ok how old are you? I know you won't think i'll take you seriously but pretty much whatever age you start feelings these things it's real. Even if you were like 6 to 12 your very mature for your age. Above that it probe ply depression. Does depression run in your family? Please respond, want to help, hope I can.

I need some advice

I_need_help — Mon, 25 Aug 2014 09:53:32 GMT

Hi AGrace!

Ive really wanted to seek help for about 6 months now but I'm worried if I go to a GP or a school counsellor they will tell my parents. I really do not want them to know because I feel really insecure and I'm still trying to build up the courage to see someone in person. I do self harm too.

Referring

back to my age, I'm only 14. But I want to be taken seriously and not many people take me seriously because I'm really young but this is serious...

beyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to sucide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

I need some advice

I_need_help — Mon, 25 Aug 2014 09:55:35 GMT

Hello! Okay so I am 14 but I want to be taken seriously because everyone I've told treats this as a joke. This isn't a joke and I really need help. My dad's been suffering from depression for 7 years... I'm not sure if that changes anything!

I need some advice

Doolhof — Mon, 25 Aug 2014 11:08:24 GMT

Hi I need help,

I am so sorry that you are struggling so much. I agree with the thoughts of AGrace and Lameda, it does not matter at what age a person is, if they feel depressed or suffer from any other illness, then that person certainly deserves to be listened to and assisted.

I am so happy and thankful that you have managed to find your way here to BB and I do so hope the advice given here helps you to reach out to a professional for some advice and assistance.

My husband and I were not able to have children, so I am not familiar with the assistance you can receive through schools. Is there a teacher you respect and feel like you could talk to and ask for assistance? Are there councillors at your school? Do you have a friend's parent whom you might be able to talk to? Like mentioned above, are there other family members you could reach out to? Have you tried to speak with your Dad? You mentioned he suffers from depression, is he able to help you?

You also mentioned your Grandmother who you were close to died recently. Yes, that could certainly be affecting how you are feeling. Loosing a much loved person in our life can hurt so badly and cause a person a lot of grief. Maybe you could mention that to who ever you are able to find to assist you.

Please do phone Beyond Blue or Lifeline and talk with someone personally, they will be able to help you find the assistance you need. There are also people here who care for you and want to try to help you in any way we can. If you need to write out more of how you are feeling, then here is the place to do it.

My Doctor recently suggested to me that I write a letter to a person who was very dear to me and died, maybe when you feel you are able to, you could write your Grandmother a letter. You could seal the envelope and keep it as a treasured memory to your Grandma, burn the letter when you had finished it, take it to the cemetery, or do what you think would be best.

Hopefully some of this has been helpful to you. Just want to let you know I care and hope that you can find your way through this.

Thinking of you, from Dools.

I need some advice

Lameda24 — Mon, 25 Aug 2014 11:13:56 GMT

hey I'm 14 too, I my been diginosied with border line pi polar depression. I know it is know joke. How long have you been dealing with this, cuz if it's been over 6 months than its more than a vase. I'm sorry to hear about your dad, my guess is that you have depression and get it from your dad. Can you go to your dad? if you can he's going to be the best one to understand. And if you can, for the both of you talking to a doctor about it, where do you live? just because I know some good doctors and yeah, please reply soon

I need some advice

geoff — Mon, 25 Aug 2014 21:27:51 GMT

dear I need help, it's great that we have people such as you and the age you are, it's a very game and mature way to get the help that you need.

Your age actually means nothing at all, because if you suffer from depression in any form, is really no different than how an adult feels when trying to cope with this illness.

Having this illness is no joke what's so ever, it can be a dangerous and a dominating feeling that controls our life.

If I can refer to your mum's comment to you, I believe that she doesn't want to see you go down the same road as your dad, but even so it's not helping at all when she says this to you, and what should happening by her is to get you all the professional help before this illness takes control over you, and what I mean by this is that it has taken control of you, but she doesn't want it keep going on for a long period, like it has with your dad.

However she seems to have turned her back on you, and doesn't want to believe that you have depression, but heh, by what you are saying you are suffering from it.

Some doctors believe that it can be handed down by the genes in the family, and I tend to agree with them, because normally your first visit to a psych. they ask you 'has any one in your family suffer from depression', so it's no different than looking like either your mum or your dad, as the family genes do this.

Now at the moment you are alone and this isn't what any person wants to have, especially when it's your mum and/or dad, so now we have to try and get you the help that you need.

I know that your only 14 but at the moment I am going to put this to one side, because depression is depression and you need lots of help.

There are a couple of phone numbers you can ring, and the first is 'kids help' on 1800551800, Headspace on 1800650890 as well being here where there is a large number of very caring people.

I would really like to hear back from you. Geoff.

I need some advice

I_need_help — Thu, 28 Aug 2014 21:15:00 GMT

Hello! Thankyou for understanding me, there's a school counsellor available at school but so much more has happened in the last week and I just don't want to keep doing this. I don't want to go see anyone.

I need some advice

I_need_help — Thu, 28 Aug 2014 21:20:02 GMT

Hey, thankyou for understanding. I can't talk to my dad about this because he's really messed up and just won't get it. I don't want to talk to anyone, I'm not going to school today and I'm having frequent days off. I just don't want to do this.

I need some advice

I_need_help — Thu, 28 Aug 2014 21:26:42 GMT

Hi Geoff! Thankyou for understanding and taking my problems into consideration, I can't see anyone about this and I just don't way to anymore. Before I was willing to see someone but I just want to be alone now.

I need some advice

Doolhof — Thu, 28 Aug 2014 21:36:35 GMT

It sounds like you are finding life really tough at present. If you don't feel like you can contact anyone in the world right now in person, please keep us all posted here on BB. I'm quite concerned for you.

We here on this site understand too well the struggles of depression, please know we care for you and are willing to read, accept, understand and sympathise with anything you want to or need to write.

I do so hope you will phone one of the support services if life becomes too much for you. We all struggle some days and need help to get ourselves through.

Thinking of you and hoping you know people do care for you, me included. I wish I could be there for you to give you a hug and a shoulder to cry on if that is what you need right now.

From Dools.

I need some advice

AGrace — Fri, 29 Aug 2014 02:08:10 GMT

Hi I need help,

I was about your age when the real mental illnesses kicked in. There wasn't much available back then, so I understand what it's like to feel alone. I also know what it feels like to just want to wish it away. I always thought that if I just kept to myself everything would just miraculously get better. I also didn't want to burden anyone. I didn't want my parents to think that I was abnormal, and I didn't think my sisters would understand.

I know you feel like giving up, like you're not going to be able to get help, and that no one will take you seriously. Any Dr who finds out what you are going through will take you seriously. It's the illness that's wanting you to retreat and surrender. The illness makes you think that it'll be better just to hide away from the world. The illness doesn't want you to get help, it's trying to overwhelm you.

Even at your age, it's possible to get support. A GP won't inform your parents without your consent. In fact neither will the school counsellor. I hope that you will try to fight just one more time, and get yourself in to see a Dr. It will be so worth it in the end. Just think about not having to feel the way you do anymore, let that be your motivation. Sadly it won't just disappear if you keep it all to yourself.

I know the BB team have been in contact with you offline. If you're feeling unsure of anything you can always call them first. The trained professionals who take the calls will be able to guide you toward what is best for you.

You're not alone, we are all here worried about you and happy to support you.

AGrace

I need some advice

I_need_help — Fri, 29 Aug 2014 02:27:58 GMT

Thankyou. But I don't think I'll be contacting anyone... I don't like opening up to people and I'm just really stubborn, so I'll just keep it to myself. But thankyou...

I need some advice

I_need_help — Fri, 29 Aug 2014 03:36:31 GMT

But I don't even know where to go, my parents take me everywhere so I don't even know how I would get to the GP. I can't tell my parents and as much as I want help I just can't because there isn't anywhere that I can go without my parents knowing or finding out. I'm just sick of feeling like this and I don't think anything will really help, my parents will never understand.

I need some advice

beyondblue_Online_Communi — Fri, 29 Aug 2014 06:05:01 GMT

Hi I Need Help, It can be hard to cope with depression at 14, but you have shown tremendous resourcefulness to come to the forums for support and incredible trust to open up as you have here. Often, being an adolescent, it can seem the people you don't want to help don't understand and brush things aside as being part of teen years. We know that you are in pain and this is something you genuinely want to work past. There is help. If you aren't sure how to proceed, please call your mental health team (phone number provided to you in a private email) or if needed, call us on 1300 22 4636 and we can help connect you with them and discuss your options. Alternatively, you can use our webchat from www.beyondblue.org.au between 3pm and midnight every day. Many young people, and children, use webchat because it can feel more private and comfortable. You don't need to tell us any identifying information, and we support children and young people every day. All of us here on the forums take you very seriously. We want you to take yourself seriously and follow up by getting some professional support.

I need some advice

I_need_help — Fri, 29 Aug 2014 06:14:30 GMT

Okay. Thankyou, I might one day when I build up the nerve...

I need some advice

I_need_help — Fri, 29 Aug 2014 08:49:56 GMT

I'll take it into consideration but I'm not sure if I have the confidence... Thankyou though I will think about it!

I need some advice

Doolhof — Sat, 30 Aug 2014 22:19:44 GMT

Dear I Need Help,

I really wish all of this help and assistance was around when I was your age! We didn't even have computers when I was a teenager nor mobile phones. Can you imagine that? We weren't allowed to use the home phone at all as kids so had to save up our pocket money and use the public phone box which was next to the Post Office.

We still had a manual exchange in our small town so that meant the lady in the Post Office had to answer our call and ask us who we wanted to talk to, and then she would connect us! When we had finished our call, we always said Goodnight to her before we hung up!

These days it is all so different. As the Community Moderator has explained so well, you can use the webchat. I have used that service recently and it was very helpful to me. It is just like sending an email or using this post system, only thing is you have a real live person at the other end giving you advice, reading what you are writing and they are there to help you. If you don't feel confident to talk with someone face to face, then the webchat is the go. Please give it a try.

You mentioned in an earlier post that you are quite stubborn, oh, how I remember that as a teenager and a young adult! Stubbornness is great to get you through some things, but please don't let it stand in the way of you getting help and assistance with your mental health. Channel that stubbornness, so that instead of it preventing you from getting help, you use it to get all the help you can until you are satisfied you have enough answers and the right help to get you back up on your feet and running again, so to speak.

I do so hope you will try the web chat. Please let us all know how you are getting on, as we do care for you. Thinking of you, from Dools.

I need some advice

I_need_help — Sun, 31 Aug 2014 02:45:22 GMT

Hi!

That would be really horrible having to live like that, I couldn't imagine doing it! But I will use the webchat, I just don't know if that can be used for a long term thing. As much as webchat helps out a lot, it won't cure my depression. I'm trying super hard though. Thankyou so much for caring..