topic No where to turn in Young people

No where to turn

jess91au — Sun, 29 Jun 2014 14:07:35 GMT

Hi everyone,

I have literally just registered here. I have no where else to go. For the last 3 years I've been headed in a downward spiral. I have had many visits with different therapists and talking with them helps like a bandaid but I never get any deeper into my issues with them, it's like everytime I go we spend half the session reviewing the previous session and I feel like I don't get anywhere. I have made another appointment with someone else and that isn't for two months. So I'm just plotting along trying to survive in my mind.

I am not one to air out my dirty laundry to people so I probably won't open up completely, but obviously I've come here seeking help because I am mentally damaged. I have had depression or anxiety or both I'm not sure...for a while now. It's been and up and down battle for a while and a couple of months ago I ended my 6 year relationship with my partner. He has moved and I am here with my dog. I don't know if I regret my actions because I'm lonely now or because I actually miss him for the fact he is the only one in my life that ever tried to understand what I'm going through and actually cared about it. Ever since he's been gone, I've felt like things are getting worse. I go to this dark place where all I think about is ending my life. It happens nearly every day. I've had a few great days but I'm feeling like I'm starting to think about suicide again. I have no strategies that have ever worked and have no where to turn and no friends to talk to.

beyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

No where to turn

AGrace — Tue, 01 Jul 2014 00:31:42 GMT

Hi Jess,

Thank you for trusting us with your story. Feeling like you have nowhere to turn to can be very overwhelming, mI'm glad you've decided to turn to Beyondblue. We are a community of people who have been or are going through similar situations to yours. So I hope here you will feel understood and supported.

Are your therapy sessions with a Psychologist or Psychiatrist? In my experience the culmination of both has been most helpful. My Psychiatrist looks after my medication and does talking therapy and my psychologist listens and helps me implement coping skills into my daily life. Are you taking medication at the moment? This could be an option to consider, especially while you're feeling so low.

Im glad you've made an appointment with an alternate therapist. Sometimes it takes a few before you find one that you feel completely open with. Its also up to you to get out of the sessions what you need. In the past ive used strategies such as pre preparing questions, taking in my journal, searching online to discover the various therapies that are available and finding out which one my therapist uses or recommends and why? (You can google: Acceptance & Commitment Therapy, Cognitive Behaviour Therapy, Narrative Therapy, Gradual Exposure Therapy, Mindfulness etc).

There's no need to feel like you're airing dirty laundry. There's nothing dirty about mental illness. I spent 11 years going to different Psychologists and for each one I would share 1 aspect of my condition. No one ever got the full picture so no one was ever able to completely help me. Now my Psychiatrist & Psychologist know everything and im getting the support I need.

May I ask why you broke up with your ex? If you take some time to focus on you, do you think it would be a possibility to reconnect in the future? It sounds like he was quite supportive of you, have you spoken to him since to explain your actions and how you feel?

Pets can be great listeners, is there any family or friends that you could also speak with?

Regarding the suicidal thoughts its really important to get help with this immediately. Whether by calling Beyondblue, using their webchat, making a GP appointment, contacting lifeline, or calling 000. Dont let this go unnoticed, there is plenty of support to help with these thoughts and feelings. Your safety is paramount.

I do hope you'll keep posting so we know how your travelling and can continue to support you, or just listen, whenever you need.

AGrace

No where to turn

White_Rose — Tue, 01 Jul 2014 22:50:36 GMT

Dear Jess

I was so sad to read your post and I apologise for not responding earlier. Welcome to Beyond Blue. We are here to help and support you as much as possible. I hope you will come back and tell us how you are going.

As AGrace has said, it often takes time to find a therapist you feel comfortable with. I have talked with two psychologists and one psychiatrist. I don't know that one type of therapist is better than the other. I found the psychologists the most helpful and comfortable to be with. Your GP can manage your medication needs.

When you say you have had many therapists I hope that does not mean you have been in the public system and met with a different psych every time. That would be very difficult. Is your new psych likely to be a permanent person, at least until you are well again? Given of course that you feel happy with this person.

Again, I agree with AGrace about writing down information for the psych. If you keep a journal or any kind of notes, take them with you. There is not necessarily a need to show them to the psych, but you can refer to them which can make the discussions more fruitful.

It really is important to be open with the psych once you have established a good rapport. Any decent psych will do this before expecting you to let it all hang out. Difficulties in one area do impact on other areas of your life, but I expect you know all this.

It is hard to separate from a partner after many years. I left my husband after 40 years with few regrets, but I do get lonely at times.

Do you have a paid job? Working can be very helpful to keep the black thoughts at bay. When you do get these thoughts you could phone BB on the number at the top of the page, or have a web chat between 3:00pm and 12:00am. AGrace has has listed some other phone services. Please try them when life gets tough and unbearable.

Not sure what you mean by dirty laundry. Depression is misunderstood in the community very often and those unfortunate to have that illness are often stigmatised. If you are referring to your personal life, then there is no need whatsoever to discuss any of it on the forum. We are not nosey (well only a few of us) so be assured we will not try to pry. But I echo the above comment, there is nothing dirty about mental illness.

My word allowance is about to run out. Please post in again soon.We will be here.

Regards

LING

No where to turn

geoff — Tue, 01 Jul 2014 23:47:20 GMT

dear Jess, thanks for being able to post on here, and we welcome you to this site.

Everyday we have so many new comers post a comment on here all needing help with their depression, so a great deal is spoken about, and none of it is what we call prying, because that person will only tell us what they want to, and when they have built up enough trust and confidence in us, then they can then be open about what is really concerning them.

I understand that you maybe a bit hesitant, but that's what happens with newcomers, so you have every right to take your time, because there is never going to be any time limit.

AGrace has been very informative and then LING has pitched in as well, so this makes my job so much easier, in regard to sending you all that needs to be said.

We are very concerned for your own safety, because when someone wants to end their own life, then the post is being treated as 'urgent attention', which now classifies this as such.

So there are two main issues here, 1 being a lack of trust and communication with any therapist, and the 2 regretting your boyfriend from moving away.

Can I suggest that you click under 'get support' at the top of this page where there will be a list of doctors, and hopefully some close to where you live, and they will be able to put you on a medicare plan where you can have 10 free appointments with a psychologist, so please check this support out for yourself.

The other concern is that your boyfriend has moved, and I'm sure that there are reasons for this, which you may want to give us some clues, maybe work or family, and it's never very pleasant when we a relationship ends, because there always seems to be an enormous hole left which we have to patch up.

Can I say that even after 25 of marriage in my case, there was a hole that had to be patched up, as we have gone through two births and had many ups and downs, so even being old it's still no different.

Please I hope that you get back to us. L Geoff. x