topic A story to listen tooo in Young people

A story to listen tooo

hiphopsolves — Mon, 02 Feb 2015 04:00:17 GMT

I want the last 5 years of my life back, i regret many things. The drugs, alcohol, pushing people away, isolating myself from people, running from my problems and constantly 'thinking im missing out' if im not at a party.

I seem to live in a cycle of things, my days repeat to the point of my monotony, i see the negative in everything, i think the most dangerous thing is i know what is happening but i dont stop. i dont know how to.

I should stop, my lifestyle has sent me to hospital 3 times in a week last year for broken bones and collapsing at parties. i absolutley 'cooked' myself on painkillers and watched the girl i loved leave me. i dont blame her it was the right thing to do. then i wrote my motorcycle off, which was uninsured.

the strange thing is i used to be a school captain, highachiever and all that. im 22 now and that scares me because i never thought id live this long.

A story to listen tooo

Zeal — Mon, 02 Feb 2015 07:01:44 GMT

Hi 🙂

Welcome to the forum. I'm sorry to hear things have been so hard for you.

I am also 22. I struggled after finishing Year 12 in 2010. I was anxious, and confused about my life. It’s good that you know you need to change, and also want to change. I also isolated myself from others, during and after Year 12. I felt anxious and avoided study. I got through with reasonable results thanks to my teachers. In 2011, I pulled out after 6 months at uni because I wasn’t coping. I was bottling up my negative thoughts. 2012 was a horrible year for me. I had to withdraw from two uni semesters because my OCD got worse, and I developed an eating disorder. I was admitted to a mental health ward in July 2012, and stayed for 2 months. I had recovered from my eating disorder by mid-2013. As I severely isolated myself, it took time for me to start seeing friends.

My point is that it’s possible to fully recover from a debilitating illness, and to rebuild your life. The key for me was to accept my past, and to stop regretting things. Living with regret is mentally exhausting. It sounds like you did well at school. That’s awesome. Did you feel unsure about what to do once you’d graduated, or did you expect too much of yourself? I’m not being nosy, it’s just important to understand why/how things spiralled downwards. Have you studied since graduating high school, or have you worked?

Knowing that what you’re doing is making things worse is actually fortunate. It’s the people who aren’t consciously aware of the need to change their behaviour that are in the most dangerous situation. As I have always been a non-drinker and never taken/used recreational drugs, I can’t give you advice in this area. Hopefully someone else on this forum can help. What I do know is that seeing your doctor is crucial. He/she may refer you to another specialist.

I’m sorry to hear that your girlfriend left. Being hospitalised three times in the same week is scary. You have done the right thing by coming to this forum. Based on your post, I think you have severe depression, as well as problems with substance abuse. Of course, you need to seek your doctor’s advice. You seem smart, so you probably know this! Also, have you ever been diagnosed with depression? It worried me when I read that you didn’t think you’d live this long. If you are having suicidal thoughts, you can call beyond blue at any time (1300 22 4636)

I hope you seek help ASAP.

Good luck,

A story to listen tooo

hiphopsolves — Mon, 02 Feb 2015 07:30:36 GMT

Thanks for your reply,

i was always unsure about what i wanted to do. I just figured id go to uni and see how it went, it was going great for 6 months then i started locking myself in my room going on drug binges. I wasnt ready to go to uni i was too sheltered and was never exposed to all the things that i was taking. i dont consider myself an addict, i dont consider myself an addict, but i take it if its there.

i go to drug and alcohol counselling, i like the guy who i work with he is/was a lot like me.

Everyone says what i nice guy i am, people even say im the reason they turn up to work because i make everyone smile.....pretty much like robin williams i guess. i just wish i could see myself the way the world sees me.

ive enrolled back in uni again for june 2015 to see how that goes. Ive done that too give the middle finger to people who judge me.

The whole girlfriend thing had to end, but it could have ended better. She never judged me on my habits or faults, she liked me for me and the fact that id always have a story to tell. I never ran after anyone in my life except for her, but i was too 'cooked' in the head after i broke my foot.