topic my life in Young people

my life

Bulletin_Board_Archive — Sun, 30 Dec 2012 11:19:00 GMT

Originally posted by: rebekah on 30 December 2012

basally Ive been bullied my whole life my parents complain that im never happy but when ever they speak to me i start crying my mum doesn't understand my life she found out i harm myself and she keeps making stuiped comments like ''you should focus on work in class instead of harming'' or ''you stuiped bitch you think your so cool because you harm'' i can't take school any more i cant that my parents its just to much i just want to barry my self in a hole . even at school i get called emo and attention seekers half the time from a girl who harms her self and she told me she does it for attention so why call me an attention seeker half the time when people yell about my teachers here do go so good after that.

my life

Bulletin_Board_Archive — Mon, 31 Dec 2012 07:56:19 GMT

Originally posted by: Anthony Mark on 31 December 2012

High school is pretty shitty. Everyone's usually trying to fit in, by pointing the mob's focus onto the flaws of *other people*. Try not to take it *personally*. Try to *laugh it off*. Try to have a sense of humour about yourself. Why *do* you cut? You must know it's not good for you. Try to substitute it with something else comforting, like going for a walk or writing a song.

my life

Bulletin_Board_Archive — Mon, 31 Dec 2012 19:38:53 GMT

Originally posted by: geoff on 1 January 2013

dear Rebekah, your not in a good environment all around at the moment, and one problem leads to another bigger problem, unhappy at home and unhappy at school, I am curious to know how old you are, because this will determine specific advice as to what age you are. The love that doesn't come from a parent is always paramount to your behaviour, but this doesn't stop a good parent having trouble with a child, so it really works both ways, never the less your in a situation that there doesn't seem to be any relief. If some person is hurting themselves for attention, this doesn't automatically mean that you are it for the same reason, your doing it because you are so unhappy, which means you are depressed. The symptoms checklist at the top of the page doesn't really include people who are self harming, or though this is included in the 'get help', but it mainly refers to depression, post natal, bipolar and anxiety, and I presume that they believe that self harm is categorized under any of these descriptions, I stand to be corrected. When I say to people that you need to go and see their doctor, certainly doesn't mean that you stop writing to us, why, because a lot of people just stop wanting more advice or help from this site, and it only means that you need medical attention, but here it's more practical or experienced help, and both of these are needed. Rebekah there a few options but these depend on your age, but one way to stop your mum criticising you is to wear clothes that cover up these marks, but this again depends on what you want to do. Looking forward to your return reply, so that we can help you some more. Geoff. x.

my life

Bulletin_Board_Archive — Tue, 01 Jan 2013 13:04:53 GMT

Originally posted by: AnonAnon on 2 January 2013

hi Rebekah, that sounds 'sucky', especially when you seek out the person who you'd expect to be most there for you but, instead, chides. Your mother only wants what's best for her child, and may feel conflicted about what you are doing. She might not know how to help or what to do. She may not know how to approach your situation to be of assistance. She might not understand your position and you. Is there a school counsellor whom you can speak to? Is there a friend whom who are comfortable with. and trust, to confide in? Instead of cutting, what other activities can you think of doing to offer some relief? Do you like listening to music? Playing an instrument? Drawing? Painting? Reading? Watching movies? A walk to the park? Walking the dog? When we're upset, it's sometimes nice to just take our mind off stresses by engaging in a 'distracting' activity. Just finding ways to cope with the pain. If you feel the urge to cut again, or wish to vent your feelings immediately when something at home or school, or anything else, happens please talk to us online, here, or call the kids helpline on 1800 55 1800. Best wishes

my life

Bulletin_Board_Archive — Fri, 11 Jan 2013 09:09:29 GMT

Originally posted by: rebekah on 11 January 2013

hey, my mum is annoyed at me becasue the way i dress,act and that.im glad school is over but i am worried about going back.i am 13.i rencetly moved to queensland so i changed schools so i can talk to the school couslar or the surrport group any more. a while go when i was happy i told my cousllar from an online service that i was fine and that she thought is was good for us to stop talking now i can only speak to her i every two weeks and when im down and that like today i can never speak to her.my family thinks im crazy. yeah.i have a huge phobia of docoters,spiders,trucks aspascialy gabage trucks.i did have my boyfriend around me but now i moved i really have no one.nothing works really so i harm myself.my dog died he was my best friend.bye

my life

Bulletin_Board_Archive — Sat, 12 Jan 2013 14:59:24 GMT

Originally posted by: Anthony Mark on 13 January 2013

Okay I think you need to make some friends. The thing about people is that they're complicated. So don't think of them as "your enemy", even if they've teased you before. Just keep being nice, and make jokes, and talk about interesting things, and you'll find friends.

my life

Bulletin_Board_Archive — Sat, 12 Jan 2013 18:12:35 GMT

Originally posted by: geoff on 13 January 2013

dear Rebekah, I am sorry that you are struggling with depression as a young adolescent, it's not an easy task to overcome by yourself, and it's also a lonely existence. If you have any repoire with this online counsellor and someone that feel you can trust, it would be a good idea to email them and explain to them that you need to begin your counselling again. I am just so sorry that you have lost your dog, this seems to leave a huge hole in your heart. People say to go and get another dog to replace the one you have just lost, but it's never the same, because you are still grieving the lose. In my last reply I asked you to let us know your age, because if you were about 17 then you could do things another way, but thanks for letting us know your age. Changing schools can be very difficult as you have to make new friends, this maybe good or not, and I tend to believe that as you have these phobias, it maybe difficult. This counsellor that you have been talking to is this regarding these phobias or other OCD fears, or was it in regards to your depression, or the hard time that your mum is giving you? Hope that you can get back to us, the more you talk to us the better it is. Love Geoff. x

my life

Bulletin_Board_Archive — Mon, 14 Jan 2013 21:18:12 GMT

Originally posted by: Neil on 15 January 2013

Hi Rebekah, I start this by saying that you should pat yourself on the back or look in the mirror, smile and say, "Bloody well done Bek for posting here, being positive to send messages on this site AND to post a response to someone else's topic also". That takes courage to do all that and as a 13yo, I'd say you've got a tremendous amount of courage. Also that you're going to a support group, is a great step and I really hope that that is helping you. You are not on your own with the thoughts of being glad that school is (or was) over ... both my children are so pleased at the end of each year (or term for that matter), as I'm sure are most children. I think it's particularly awful of your mother to be making negative and bad comments to you. I think also, if it's at all possible, whether you could possibly contact your previously mentioned counsellor, so that you could start speaking with them again? Is there a GP in your area that you could go too, to let them know of your situation? If you're unsure, there's options on this website where you could try and locate someone - and being on this website, that person would be well credentialled in dealing with these kinds of issues. The self-harm has me also very worried for you, not only for all the other stuff that's going on in your life, but the self-harm issue, as you'd be aware is not a good one. Is it possible to get out and go for a walk when you feel an episode coming on? I know this might sound crazy, but it's worked for me in the past ... instead of the desire to hurt myself, I say, just in a normal voice, or even in a whisper, "Go away - get the hell out of my mind (or words to that effect) - I'm not going to do this today. Come back another time, try tomorrow or later, but just get the hell out of my mind". Then try to push it to the back of your mind; at the same time, try to find something that help to occupy you; be it going out for a walk, playing some sort of game on phone or computer, perhaps even cooking something in the kitchen. But when saying that, it's best to try and back it up with something that you will do that will occupy your mind as well. Stay with us Rebekah, and will enjoy to receive your next post; Cheers, Neil

my life

Bulletin_Board_Archive — Tue, 15 Jan 2013 15:06:40 GMT

Originally posted by: geoff on 16 January 2013

dear Rebekah, Neil's reply is very good. I hope that you do get back to us Rebekah, because you are 13 you would like some 'elderly' advice, something that your mum doesn't provide you with, and we are all here for you, so please don't hesitate to get back to us. You know having a person of your age writing to this site brings us all back to when we were that age, and a lot of us suffered depression at your age. You may be away at the moment, but really hope to hear from you again. Love Geoff. x

my life

Bulletin_Board_Archive — Mon, 21 Jan 2013 14:11:03 GMT

Originally posted by: rebekah on 22 January 2013

i have always had problems making friends i dont fit in and that i basically that kid that was born to have no friends.it use to happend so much teachers forced kids to hang out with me.i tried being nice it just made everyone hate me it was just another reason for them to be mean.i missed my last online couslaring appointment so i have it on sunday now.but my cousllar keeps bringing this up she wants me to go to a headspace centre i wouldnt mind its my parents that im worried about they would never let me and well at lease i have a reason im not going all the way to warwick .i want another dog but my parents wont let me get one.becasue aprently the last one dieing was my fault.most of the phobias are recent because of moving and that like the garbage truck one that was cause my dad got in an acedinet with the garbage man so now the garabge men do really like use.my cousllaring was mainly depression self harm and that plus it was about my mum.no docoters.i know self harm is bad .im not allowed to walk any where but school on school days unless im with mum or dad its stuiped rule my parents have.i try to not think about in but its like every 24/7 i havent cut.but i relised one think since school finished earn though half the year 8s were jumping up and down when they found out i was leaving they became nice to me and started saying nice stuff and that it was a school i though it was trick or some probaly is but im surpirse they probaly found out about stuff they shouldnt of have bye

my life

Bulletin_Board_Archive — Tue, 22 Jan 2013 18:20:22 GMT

Originally posted by: geoff on 23 January 2013

dear Rebekah, if you have good relationship with your online counsellor it's a good idea to keep this communication going, because if you miss the time allotted then you maybe sorry that you did. If a teacher forces other kids to 'make friends' with you, then these kids know that something maybe wrong with you, and I don't say this in a mean way, but they then tend to hunt around for any weakness's they can see in you, so once they find something then they can tease you, which is cruel. With regards to the garbage trucks your Dad has every right to complain to the council, especially if he is paying the house off, he then has to pay rates, and he is entitled to have his say and then that may mean complain. But if you and your parents are moving again then they are probably renting, in any case moving house is very unsettling, and this means that you can't get stabilised, and this maybe a major concern for yourself. Talk soon. Love Geoff. x

my life

Bulletin_Board_Archive — Wed, 23 Jan 2013 10:33:13 GMT

Originally posted by: rebekah on 23 January 2013

Ok.I may see the counsellor at my new school

my life

Bulletin_Board_Archive — Thu, 24 Jan 2013 13:19:09 GMT

Originally posted by: rebekah on 25 January 2013

hey.we just moved in i start school on the 29th.i went to the new school met with some cousllar dude he gave me a talk about not fitting in and how i might not fit in .hello i know i dont fit in i never do and told me to go see him any way bye

my life

Bulletin_Board_Archive — Fri, 25 Jan 2013 15:23:46 GMT

Originally posted by: geoff on 26 January 2013

dear Rebekah, not a great way to start your year at this new school, the counsellor doesn't really know you, just take it slowly, all you need is just one person who can be your friend, and it's probably a good idea to avoid a group of people because they always pick on someone. Hopefully there will be a person in the same position as you are, and if you see anybody who is always standing by themselves, then just go up to her the first time and not say anything, unless she does, but if she doesn't, don't worry, do the same next time and maybe a friendship may develop. I hope so for you, and let us know what happens. Love Geoff. x

my life

Bulletin_Board_Archive — Sat, 26 Jan 2013 05:28:28 GMT

Originally posted by: rebekah on 26 January 2013

Hey. yeah I try that thanks

my life

Bulletin_Board_Archive — Thu, 07 Feb 2013 06:39:15 GMT

Originally posted by: August on 7 February 2013

Hey Rebekah, First of all, I'm really sorry to hear that you've been bullied your whole life. You sound like really cool and interesting person, and it sucks that your school days have been filled with mean people who can't see that. And to make matters worse, it sounds like you're not getting any comfort at home, either. When all you want is someone who understands, and all you're getting is a mum who doesn't get how you're feeling inside, it's no wonder you're having such a hard time. It sounds to me like your mum is very scared. And she is probably also worried that she's to blame for your self-harm. So instead of being supportive, she's taking out her worries on you, which is totally unfair. I bet it's difficult being 13 and talking to your mum about the stuff that's going on inside. But perhaps you could try really hard to tell her that you need her help and understanding, and that when she yells at you it makes you feel worse. Maybe even sit down one day after school and have a good think about the ways in which you think your mum could help you, and then let her know. Girls in high school can be really bitchy and mean. Often privately, they actually want to be friends with you (because they like you and think you're cool), but they're too scared that they'll be teased, so they just follow what everyone else is doing. It might be good for your confidence to make friends outside of school. What are some of your interests? Perhaps you can join a group or club in one of your interest areas. You're probably thinking that you can't be bothered to do something like that, but seriously consider it because you'll probably find that when girls and boys are outside of their groups at school, they're much nicer people. If you haven't already done so, you might want to check out the Beyond Blue youth forum. http://www.youthbeyondblue.com/share-your-story/ It might be helpful to talk to people who're close to your own age. I hope life gets a little brighter for you! 🙂

my life

Bulletin_Board_Archive — Thu, 07 Feb 2013 23:44:26 GMT

Originally posted by: Neil on 8 February 2013

Hi Rebekah, It's pretty much the end of another week and I'm hoping things are becoming even just a little easier for you?? I hope that you may have found someone who you might be able to talk with. You've had some great replies here and advice. Kids at school can be absolutely brutal; hence why there's this stigma or thing called peer group pressure. I really hope that you're hanging in there. You've had it so hard and rough for so long and at such a young age, it's really not fair for you. Take care please and KNOW that you've got a lot of support and care and FRIENDS on this site. Cheers, Neil

my life

Bulletin_Board_Archive — Fri, 08 Feb 2013 03:08:10 GMT

Originally posted by: David Charles on 8 February 2013

Dear Rebekah, I have 3 kids 18, 19 & 21. So just a bit older than you. You seem shocked that your mum "didn't know my life" (self harming / bullied). Why is that ? Weren't you self harming TO shock ? Or to say "I'm not coping but I didn't know how to tell you ?". A lot of this stress is exponential. The girls at school don't like me / my mum doesn't get me / the boys on the bus make fun of me / the school crossing supervisor looked at me a funny way. I'm with Geoff re get some more inner confidence going. Being verbally abused basically demonstrates that those girls are less confident than you are. You, on the other hand, are an emotional beacon. That's why Neil says "well done for posting". Schools keep listings of bullies for employment references and the law penalises both verbal & physical abuse regularly. But there's nothing wrong with being you. No one can stop that. Not even your parents. Adios, David. PS I had a bit of bullying for taking trumpet lessons but now I run a big band. What do you want to do with your life ?

my life

Bulletin_Board_Archive — Mon, 11 Feb 2013 20:44:48 GMT

Originally posted by: Rebekah on 12 February 2013

i was self harming to cope my mum just happend to see what i did and that i still feel like self harming even though im not depressedits just that the other day my dad threatened to send me to school with brusies.i get anxious and scared some days at school but i hope that goeits away when i get to know my friends more.i have trouble with confidence and self eastem last year in drama i was told to have more confindence.i take tenor saxphone and sometimes alto lessons at school i want to perform with reece mastin,guy sabastion or taylor swift one day.i aslo want to be a afamous artist or music or a argircultre teacher or art teacher or a farmer or stock hand.

my life

Bulletin_Board_Archive — Tue, 19 Feb 2013 09:47:33 GMT

Originally posted by: rebekah on 19 February 2013

how can my life get any worse my boy friend who meant ever thing to me broke my heart my parents told me if i do bad in maths and english i can do music art or argruculture.i started self harming again and im so nevorus about perform to my inetermental music teacher its been months since i played the song i need to play omg life go away so i can cope