topic Re: My parents are forcing me to quit what I love in Young people

My parents are forcing me to quit what I love

bluejay — Sun, 07 Jun 2026 10:15:29 GMT

I'm 16 years old, and dancing has been part of my life for as long as I can remember. I absolutely love it. I currently do 8 styles, and honestly, if I had the opportunity, I would do even more classes.

The problem is that my parents have decided that next year, when I'm in Year 12, I'm quitting dancing altogether.

To most people, that might sound dramatic, but dancing isn't just a hobby to me. It's a huge part of who I am. It's where I've invested years of effort, discipline, and passion. It's the thing I've always been proud of. I've spent so much of my life building my skills, and I finally feel like I've reached a point where I can look at myself and think, "I'm actually good at this."

Realistically, I know I'm probably not talented enough to make a career out of dancing. But if I had the ability and opportunity, I absolutely would. Part of what hurts so much is knowing that I'll never even get the chance to find out how far I could have gone.

My dance school has a yearly concert where they choose a "Best Performer" who receives a solo the following year. I've been told multiple times that I'll get it eventually. For years, I've worked towards that goal. This upcoming year feels like my last real chance.

Usually, the dancers who do the most classes have an advantage because they're seen more often. Right now, I do 8 classes, which gives me a decent chance, but there are dancers doing 10 classes who are already strong competition. My parents are now telling me I have to cut down to 6 classes.

Maybe that sounds insignificant, but to me it feels devastating. It feels like my final opportunity is being taken away before I've even had the chance to try. Since this is supposedly my last year of dancing anyway, reducing my classes makes me feel like everything I've been working towards for years is slowly slipping through my fingers.

The reasoning my parents give is that they hate driving me around and think I need more "breathing room." They also have three other children to focus on, and they said I've had "my run." That I've had my years of dancing, and now it's time to move on.

The thing is, I don't want to move on.

I'm a good student. I've never struggled to keep up with schoolwork. I do have anxiety, sleeping problems, and issues with emotional regulation, but dancing has never interfered with my academics. It only takes up two evenings a week, yet it's one of the most important things in my life.

Lately I've realised how much of my identity is tied to dancing. I've already given up on some of my other ambitions. I used to dream about becoming valedictorian, but I don't think that's realistic anymore. I'm not especially close to my parents or siblings. I only have a few friends. There are other things I enjoy, but nothing that feels meaningful in the way dancing does.

Dancing is my talent. It's my thing. It's the one area of my life where I genuinely feel confident and capable.

The thought of giving it up next year makes me feel empty. Sometimes I think about my friends continuing to dance, improving, achieving their goals, and moving forward while I'm forced to stop, and it honestly feels unbearable. I feel like I'm losing a part of myself.

I'm scared that if dancing disappears from my life, I'm going to fall into a depression. I already see a counsellor, but I don't know how to process the idea of losing something that means this much to me.

Has anyone else had a passion or activity that felt like part of their identity taken away from them? How did you cope with it? Am I being unreasonable, or is it normal to feel this devastated? How do I stop feeling like my entire future is being ripped away from me?

Re: My parents are forcing me to quit what I love

Psychdiaries2 — Sun, 07 Jun 2026 11:16:59 GMT

Hi there,

Welcome to the forums and thanks for reaching out!

I can see how passionate you are about dance and how it is your whole world. You seem like you have a great work ethic and have many awesome goals you are working towards. I can only imagine how difficult it must be to have to cut down your classes when dance is something you have invested so much time and effort in. It's understandable you feel scared right now with your passion being ripped away from you. I know this may sound silly, but have you spoken to your parents about how much dance means to you? Maybe they don't understand how important it is to you and I hope that if you do explain this to them, that they will be more open-minded and allow you to continue dance.

I gave up gymnastics a few years ago when I loved it a lot and still do. Honestly, I have missed it since, but I guess I wasn't completely gutted because I didn't put my whole identity in it. I think it's important to have a balance with other things in life, and ultimately know that your identity is in the type of person that you are, not based on achievements, talent, skills, etc. I believe it's the person you choose to be. I don't think you're being unreasonable, I think it's totally valid to feel devastated. You can still dance in the future right? Like after year 12 is over, you may have your license, more freedom to dance so hopefully you'll still be able to do the thing you love.

I hope this helps. Talk to your counsellor too and you are more than welcome to keep chatting on here. Wishing all the best for you!

Kind regards,

PsychDiaries

Re: My parents are forcing me to quit what I love

Croix — Sun, 07 Jun 2026 11:23:19 GMT

Dear Bluejay~

Welcome here to hte Forum, I"m glad you can as I can see from your writing how much dancing means to you. Even if you do not achieve the pinnacle of it in later life it means so much to to right now and it looks like this is going to be cut down or out ntirely by your parents.

Having a passions is not something in itself but tends to spread out into other areas because you have happiness, passion and ability. It may well be the rest of your schoolwork is good for that reason.

As you already talked ot your parents by yourself wihtout success maybe it is time to have an ally they may take more seriously than a 16 year old daughter. Parents often do not treat younger people's problems as being as serious as their own -a grave mistake.

Is there anyone at you school, a dance instructor perhaps, who could talk to you parents and emphasize the importance and potential of continuing, maybe pointing out that the rest of your schoolwork might be adversely affected if you were deprived of this?

Your councilor might also be able to say dancing helps as a form of therapy?

Having adult professional advocates may make a difference.

Additionally as you have three siblings who need your parent's attention you might like to ask if there is any practical way you could help with them, lessening your parent's taks?

If you feel like it we would really like to know how you get on

Croix

Re: My parents are forcing me to quit what I love

bluejay — Mon, 08 Jun 2026 09:54:44 GMT

Hi, thank you so much for your response, it means so much.
I have discussed with my parents that dance means so much to me, but they believe that I only want to do it to win the solo award because I want to be "the best". Yes, it is a goal of mine, but it is not the bigger picture. When my family discussed this last night it didn't end well, and I assume there will be more conversations regarding it.

I can absolutely continue dance after year 12, but its on my own terms and I have to pay and get there myself which complicates things. I've already made a plan for this, but realistically I'm hoping I can have a car by then because my family uses both our cars so much it wouldn't be possible for me to dance without my own.

I just hope they let me continue my classes this year so I can finish doing as much as I can. Thank you again 🙂

Re: My parents are forcing me to quit what I love

bluejay — Mon, 08 Jun 2026 10:00:15 GMT

Hi Croix thank you so much.

My counsellor is definitely trying to help me get my dancing to continue, so there's that. Seeing as I'll have my license next year I could definitely work something out with my parents and help drive siblinsg around which may have them let me do a few classes throughout year 12.

Thank you for your advice, I'll look into my counsellor and possibly school teachers to see if they can emphasise the importance of me continuing my hobby throughout this year 🙂