topic I'm worried that I'm doing the wrong thing entirely in Young people

I'm worried that I'm doing the wrong thing entirely

Liam007 — Wed, 22 Oct 2014 06:49:56 GMT

For the last week I've been having negative emotions and having worries, and in the last week I feel like I've gone overboard in expressing it. So far I have:

Used the Beyondblue chat at least four times
Created 5 threads on the forum, including this one
Booked an appointment to see a youth counselor.
Seen my school counselor 3 times
Signed up for a another forum and used the online chat service there

I feel like I'm going overboard in trying to deal with the whole thing. I'm anxious, feeling like I'm handling the whole situation wrong, like I'm doing to much, but I find I do it because I need to keep myself calm and relaxed as I'm on a long waiting list to see a youth counselor. I also think I use this forum a little too much, I check it more than I check my FaceBook now. Am I going overboard with trying to get to the bottom of this? Is there anything I should do to ease up? Is it okay if I use the online chat when I feel more sad, lonely and anxious than usual? Anything I should tell myself to control this? This has been going on for a while I feel slightly nervous even writing this post.

I just want to state that I'm NOT consideringself harm or anything like that.Thanks,Liam

I'm worried that I'm doing the wrong thing entirely

NicoleP — Wed, 22 Oct 2014 11:22:07 GMT

Hi Liami just wrote a long post and then managed to lose the lot. Kind of says what kind of a day I have had. I was having an ok day until I got an email from my boss and I went to pieces. I reacted by Phoning my husband and ear bashing himphoning BB cousellorphoning my husband back (he is sick of hearing about it)putting new thread on forum and checking it 20 timescalling ADAVICear bashing husband as he walks in the door (he is still sick of it)spending evening on Google looking for the magic answerDiscussing all my flaws with husband who has now switched offcoming to bed with ipad so that I can read forums for messages (and there you are)You never need to apologise about posting that is what we are all here for - to support each other. It is actually kind of nice to hear that someone else is doing the same thing as me - looking for solutions when going thru a rough patch. I think it is better to reach out and search for answers than closing your eyes and hoping it will all go away. I will have a look for your other posts. Remember, we all need help now and then. Take careKezza

I'm worried that I'm doing the wrong thing entirely

white knight — Wed, 22 Oct 2014 11:36:04 GMT

Hi Liam,

KezzaA is correct in every detail. And remember that posting often, other, some just readers, learn from us all.

You could be in a manic stage. Soemthing to run past others you will be seeing for advice.

Some here have posts totalling 500. We still advise as progress may be slow with some people but its still progress.

I like your threads and a lot of young people are learning from them. Guilt is a terrible negative force. It displays lack of confidence and can over time be neutralised. From half cup empty to half cup full......in everything you do.

I'm worried that I'm doing the wrong thing entirely

AGrace — Wed, 22 Oct 2014 19:05:20 GMT

Hi Liam,

I guess if you are feeling like you are going overboard with seeking support then perhaps you are. Sometimes we need a lot of support and other times we just need to chat to someone from time to time. I'm guessing this might all be pretty new to you. How long have you been experiencing the anxiety for?

Have you spoken with a GP about your symptoms? Is there an option for you to try some anti-anxiety medication in the interim while you wait to see a Counsellor? I understand you mentioned that the waiting list for the youth counsellor is quite considerable. Was this counsellor suggested to you? If you are not happy to wait then you can also consider getting a referral and mental health care plan to see a Psychologist instead. You might find the wait list less daunting.

Do you feel like your just anxious or do you feel like you are having panic attacks? I know this can be a difficult question to answer, but I'm wondering if you feel panic and then you jump online for support, or if you are just constantly worried and so you're seeking support more frequently? Are you getting the support you need from the forums and webchat services, in other words is it helping?

What else do you do to take your mind off things? Are you studying at the moment?

You might also like to have a look at the thread SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING ANXIETY under the anxiety section of the forums. There's some good strategies in there from many members that you can probably start practicing straight away.

Look forward to hearing back from you.

AGrace

I'm worried that I'm doing the wrong thing entirely

Liam007 — Thu, 23 Oct 2014 05:12:48 GMT

Hi Grace, to answer some of your questions

How long have you been experiencing the anxiety for?

I have been feeling this way for at least a month or so. I only just came out about it 2 weeks.

Have you spoken with a GP about your symptoms?

Considering one at the moment, but I'm finding it hard how to explain it. Could it only be situational? Am I actually depressed or just sad? I'm finding it hard to tell/

Do you feel like your just anxious or do you feel like you are having panic attacks?

It's hard to tell, one thing leads to the next with that. I have no self respect or love for myself which leads to me worrying about what others think of me and certain circumstances arise to where I panic or find I'm more worried than usual. Nothing major but I worry a lot and it distracts me and sometimes gives me the "butterfly in stomach" feeling badly. I'm sad most of the time as a result.

What else do you do to take your mind off things? Are you studying at the moment?

I used to like clay sculpting and acting but because of these negative feelings I find it hard to get started or enjoy them. I'm Year 12 at the moment and feel like I'm a worthless student who is basically invisible, I want to feel like I belong in the class and am doing well...but I don't feel like that (despite assurances from parents and school reports that I'm doing okay) I feel like the reports are exaggerated the teachers say things like "Contributes well to class discussions" but I feel like I've barely done anything and I feel like I'm an outcast, none of the other students want to invite to me to hang out or even sound like they enjoy my company.

So in conclusion, It's no so much I have panic attacks or least nothing major or critical . But more I find myself INCREDIBLY Sad and lonely. Until I see a counselor, psychologist etc. I feel like I must keep talking about it, I feel like if I stay silent it will just get worse. So that lead to me posting on and visiting this forum quite a bit, I felt slightly good just typing all this out and talking with people but then I start to think I look crazy which then leads me to this post.

I'm sorry I didn't answer everything or if I want off on a ramble, if there was anything else you would like me to describe I'm willing to explain.

P.S The webchat does help a bit, It helps calm me down a bit and I'm liking my time on the forum.

Thanks, Liam

I'm worried that I'm doing the wrong thing entirely

NicoleP — Thu, 23 Oct 2014 06:26:53 GMT

Hi Liam

Sorry about my last post - for some reason the format changed and all my dot points disappeared. Probably says something about my computer skills.

year 12 is a really busy and stressful time in your life. Exams, decisions about the future and all the pressures of being a teenager. How supportive are your parents and are you able to talk about all this with them?

I am sorry to hear that you are so lonely. If talking about it is helping then that is great. Wish I could make it all better for you.

Kezza

I'm worried that I'm doing the wrong thing entirely

Liam007 — Thu, 23 Oct 2014 07:46:07 GMT

Hi Kezzaa,
Thank you so much, it means a lot to mean.
Ive mentioned this to my parents and we are trying to work through it.
I should also mention Ive only just started YR12 so I still have another year.
Thanks again, Liam

I'm worried that I'm doing the wrong thing entirely

NicoleP — Thu, 23 Oct 2014 09:11:08 GMT

Hi Liam

I am really pleased that you have the support of your parents. Remember that they love you unconditionally and want the best for you. I have 3 teenage children aged 17, 18 & 19. My middle child suffers from anxiety - like mother like daughter. It was really bad a couple of years ago. I found it really hard cos she shut us out. She let me take her to appointments but would not talk about anything but I also understood that was my issue and that she had a right to privacy. Oh, I've gone off track (so like me).

Year 11/12 is a busy time. What are you interested in doing when you finish? You sound quite artistic.

I'm worried that I'm doing the wrong thing entirely

Liam007 — Thu, 23 Oct 2014 10:03:06 GMT

Kezzaa

I was hoping to become to become an actor or go into the film business, perhaps do some sculpting activities through out life

I worry that I've upset my parents though, I said things about myself that should never be said ever.

I'm hoping to see a psychologist soon...in the meantime. I think I should just keep coming here. Does that sound okay?

Thanks, Liam

I'm worried that I'm doing the wrong thing entirely

NicoleP — Thu, 23 Oct 2014 11:42:07 GMT

Do keep coming here.

Your parents will be okay. With my daughter I just wanted to help her. I think that your parents will be okay with what you have said. For starters they were young once too. Secondly, it is easier to deal with the known than the unknown - if they know what you are thinking and feeling they will feel more empowered.

You are doing well at the moment and things will work out.

I'm worried that I'm doing the wrong thing entirely

NicoleP — Sat, 25 Oct 2014 06:07:50 GMT

Hi Liam

Just checking in to see how you are going

Kezza

I'm worried that I'm doing the wrong thing entirely

Liam007 — Sat, 25 Oct 2014 09:18:46 GMT

Hi Kezzaa,

I'm sad to report that I feel things have gotten worse.

I'm consistently upset, I just view myself as a terrible human being. I don't want to speak up at school because I feel people think I'm a stupid moron and wish I would just go away, I feel like trying to impress people is pointless as they just don't care about me or what I do. I just feel like I have no clue what I'm doing, I don't feel like I belong anywhere.

I can't view myself as a success, I pretty much feel invisible. I start to accept negative criticism and even tell myself negative things.

I feel worthless and unimportant

I'm NOT considering hurting myself or taking my own life. I'm just EXTREMELY upset.

I'm awfully sorry that I responded with that, but I seriously feel terrible. I'm still hoping to see a doctor or psychologist about this real soon. I'll keep talking to you though. I could not be more grateful for you taking the time to talk to me, it means an awful lot to me. Thank you so much. Liam

Liam

I'm worried that I'm doing the wrong thing entirely

NicoleP — Sat, 25 Oct 2014 10:30:46 GMT

Hi Liam

i am thrilled to hear from you but am sad to hear that you are having a tough time at the moment. Do remember that the phone lines are open 24 hours and that the counsellors there are fantastic. Have you been to see your GP yet? What kind of support are you getting? I think I read that you had been seeing a counsellor at school. Is that the case and how is that working out for you? You seem to be really keen to see a psychologist, has anything been organised?

i am pleased that you answered so honestly, so don't feel guilty for doing that. I wish I could make things better for you. I want you to know that you are important and that you are not a terrible human being. Like me, you judge yourself by what you think other people think of you. It sounds to me as though you are a very caring, considerate and sensitive person. Would you agree?

I am concerned that you are seeing yourself in such a negative way and I do think that it is important that you see someone so that you can see the wonderful Liam that you are hiding away at the moment. Everyone is unique, everyone is important and everyone is special and that includes you. Sometimes though we can't see that and we have to hit a rough patch in our lives to learn to love, accept and care for ourself .

take care

Kezza

I'm worried that I'm doing the wrong thing entirely

Liam007 — Sat, 25 Oct 2014 10:43:34 GMT

Hi again Kezzaa

Have you been to see your GP yet?

It's all unfortunately a waiting game at the moment. I've tried the eheadspace chat but they keep telling me "no one is available" despite a message saying "A worker is ready to talk with you". It makes me wonder, am I annoying them? and that just leads to trouble.

I think I read that you had been seeing a counsellor at school. Is that the case and how is that working out for you?

It's okay. I find that I'm a pain in the butt. She asked me to list 5 positives about myself and I couldn't name anything.

It sounds to me as though you are a very caring, considerate and sensitive person. Would you agree?

I just don't want people to be mad at me and hate me. I felt awful after a kid told me to "neck myself". I want to be someone that if a person needs help, they will feel comfortable asking me. I've asked a lot of favors but never feel like I've done anything for anyone else.

I should be getting some help real soon, don't worry. I'll hang in there.

Liam

I'm worried that I'm doing the wrong thing entirely

dougall — Sat, 25 Oct 2014 19:52:16 GMT

Hi Liam life is full of opportunities and you will get a chance to help others because of what you are going through and feeling, you are helping others now by telling your story.

I'm worried that I'm doing the wrong thing entirely

NicoleP — Sun, 26 Oct 2014 04:33:10 GMT

HI Liam

I just wrote a long reply and it disappeared - so I am going to try again. I am going to put it down to a lack of sleep. I helped out at a running event today and left home at 2am - Great day though. I am also heading to Melbourne in a little while for a few days for a conference. I probably wont be able to post while I am away. I find that I can read posts on my phone but have no success with writing posts.

I do think that you need to go to your GP. Will your parents take you? if eheadspace is not working, you can try mindspot and remember the BB phone line and online chat. They are great and you won't be annoying them. They do that kind of work because they care. They don't expect to cure you in one call/session.

I am sure that you have lots of positives. Unfortunately you are seeing yourself at the moment in such a negative way that you cannot see any positives. I think that many of us on this sight are like that. I am a teacher and have an excellent reputation with past parents and students and have had huge successes with really difficult students. And yet, if I was asked in an interview what is good about me as a teacher, I would struggle to tell them.

I am very sad to read about what another student said to you. It is not acceptable on any level. Have you reported it? I have just been chatting to White Knight about this very thing and we both agree that people that bully and control people have their own mental health issues. You can search for his post "And what's their mental illness'

Dougall's words were very beautiful and true. Life is full of opportunities and I am proud of the way you are taking this opportunity to learn about yourself and develop as a person.

Take Care

KezzaA

I'm worried that I'm doing the wrong thing entirely

Liam007 — Sun, 26 Oct 2014 06:12:38 GMT

Thanks Kezzaa

My dad is going to give a GP a call tomorrow, will keep you posted.

That kid whole told me to neck myself is facing several N awards and most likely won't sit his HSC, so best not to worry about him.

Thanks, again. Hope Melbourne goes okay, do post when you get back so I can fill you in again, whether it's gotten worse, better or stayed the same I'll tell you 🙂

Thanks, Liam

I'm worried that I'm doing the wrong thing entirely

Liam007 — Sun, 26 Oct 2014 06:32:40 GMT

Hi Dougall, sorry for the late reply.

I understand that timing is everything, however I feel like everyone around me at my school has already done that, they know their place and have pretty much become legends. The teachers, other students and community praise them, they get photos taken, awards given at assemblies and all that..

I've never done anything like that, as a result it makes me feel inadequate. I actually had someone tell me "Thinking like that once in a while is actually a little healthy, it means your not to arrogant about yourself and don't view yourself as flawless, you are carefully considering your abilities" Is that actually true? Is this really considered Healthy thinking? or am I just trying to much at once? He may have not meant it like that. It just puzzled me. Is viewing yourself as flawless arrogant? Even though I only see myself as negative now I would never say
" I am perfect!, there's nothing wrong with me at all!"

Liam

I'm worried that I'm doing the wrong thing entirely

AliciaK — Sun, 26 Oct 2014 12:51:24 GMT

Hi Liam

I have been reading your other posts and have decided to give you some of things I did when I was going through similar problems to you. I am 21 and had a lot of problems with the same sorts of thoughts you did, as well as depression and anxiety and bullying in year 12 (and after). Your story really resonates with me, and I understand some of how you are feeling.

Some of the things I did to help were: go for walks and think about things like the sky, or the grass or how many trees there were around me. I found that getting myself out of the house and keeping active really helped to make myself feel better. I also picked up a hobby (for me it was guitar playing and reading). I also called Kids Helpline when I was feeling down, or BB to just chat with a counsellor. I found that doing this things, in the beginning, helped to make me feel better about everything. Eventually I joined a youth led group.

There are probably people reading your posts, like me, and are thinking "Wow, he's in the same situation I am and he's asking for help, I'm going to keep checking this post and see what everyone is saying" so the fact that you came out and have talked about how you are feeling is probably helping more people than you realize.

I personally had this problem where I focused so much on other people and how they felt about me and eventually, I stopped doing anything for myself, and I realised how much I neglected myself. That's when I learnt that I need to look after myself and do things that make me happy and not worry so much about how they think and feel about me, as ultimately it brought me down more.

I also had the same thing you were talking about earlier in this post where there was a time where (and I probably still would) have trouble naming 3 positive things about me. When I tried to answer that question, I personally was answering in the sense of how other people saw me. I then realised that I should answer it in the way I really was, not how I saw myself or how other people saw me, in other words, answer realistically.

You said

Liam C said: I just don't want people to be mad at me and hate me... I want to be someone that if a person needs help, they will feel comfortable asking me.

To me, it sounds like you are extremely kind and nice person. To have feelings and thoughts like that shows me, and probably others, that you care about people you are friends with, and are loyal

Hope this has helped a bit

Alicia

I'm worried that I'm doing the wrong thing entirely

AGrace — Sun, 26 Oct 2014 18:09:12 GMT

Hi Liam,

Just wanted to say that I'm glad your dad has organised a GP appointment for you. It sounds as though your parents really care about you. Hopefully the GP will steer you in the right direction to get some extra support.

A lot of mental illness stems from low self worth and self esteem. Fortunately with the right help you can rebuild these two things. I found it a bit odd that your counsellor had already jumped to the idea of getting you to right some positive things about yourself. Going back a year ago, I wouldn't have been able to do this either. It takes time but it is possible.

So you like acting and sculpting. You must be a really creative person, which is a wonderful quality to have. Are you studying drama at school? It became one of my favourite subjects.

Will you let us know how you get on with the Dr?

Also I wanted to say, one of the symptoms of Anxiety and Depression can be to overanalyse things, this might be why you are wondering whether you are doing too much. I say, utilise every bit of help and support that is available to you.

AGrace