I feel like I'm being destroyed and I don't know what to do

LDW — Thu, 18 Apr 2019 14:53:31 GMT

So, I guess I should explain myself. I'm a teenager, not going to specify how old, and I am recently finding everything overwhelming. I live with anxiety - in many forms, depression, PTSD, insomnia and an eating disorder than I am unsure the name of.

So, I'm the baby of the family. I have no siblings and am the youngest cousin, and I'm always told that I act older than I am. I find this anxiety enducing because I'm expected to act older than I am, and I'm hardly allowed to be my own age, and this is purely because I was forced to grow up far too fast.

I'm unsure of my sexuality, and that causes more anxiety because I have absolutely no clue how my family or friends would react to me being anything but straight - but they aren't homophobic, some of them are part of the LGBTIQ+ community themselves.

And my friend recently started talking to me about her own concerns, doubts, worries, thoughts and such and I want to be there for her, I really do, but my thoughts are getting to me and it feels like I'm drowning while everyone around me is breathing. But I can't turn my friend away, because she pretty much only trusts me, and I don't know what she would do if I told her that I needed space.

She is such a kind girl and she doesn't deserve any of what she is going through and I would take it all if it meant she could be happy, but I can't, and it is that realization that destroys me most.

Could I get some opinions, or maybe some advice for anxiety? Am I thinking about this too deeply? Should I suck it up, or turn my friend away? Should I try and find a way to block out the thoughts?

I feel like I'm being destroyed and I don't know what to do

romantic_thi3f — Thu, 18 Apr 2019 23:16:50 GMT

Hi LDW,

Welcome to the forums and thanks for your post. I'm sorry that you're struggling with all of this and I am glad that you're here. Only child here too and I can relate to a lot of what you've been going through.

Advice wise - no you don't need to suck it up. I think what you're feeling makes total sense. It sounds like you're overwhelmed, and honestly I think I would be too (I was). At the same time though I don't think you need to turn your friend away, but I think it's like that oxygen mask metaphor - you need to have some oxygen before you help others?! What do you think that would look like? For you to feel like you were in a better place?

and no, I don't think you need to block out the thoughts. Thoughts are important (sometimes). But I know if we try to block them out they'll come back louder than ever. So for me personally reading your post, I think it's about helping you find ways to cope even with everything that's going on.

Hope this helps 🙂

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I feel like I'm being destroyed and I don't know what to do

I feel like I'm being destroyed and I don't know what to do